Six more weeks (4/21/08)

This week we got transfer calls and I am staying in Mead with Elder C. for another transfer! I am Elder C.'s eleventh companion (not counting the MTC) and, except for his trainer, I am the only one he has had more than a transfer. I filled out the dates in my next planner, and this transfer I hit five months, I call home for Mothers' Day (I'll have had two phone calls before I hit six months), Preston turns three and a half, Pops turns fifty-seven, and I hit six months. Wow!

On a side note, I hope I am not exhausting my home resources. I like to withdraw money from my account and then spend it on various things. Often we go out to eat as a district and I pay with my money,1 and last week I bought a CD by a Christian artist named Michelle Tumes. I really like it but I can't listen to two of the songs because they are love songs.2 (We like to joke that they're OK because they're allegorical, just like the uninspired Song of Solomon is supposed to be--but we know we can't really listen to them.)

I'm getting ready to ship my suit off home so that should be coming soon, along with my memory cards with videos on them. You don't have to send my cards back--at least, now I don't feel like you need to--because I feel like I'm getting a hord of cards and I am going to get more and more and you'll lose all of yours.

One of the families we're teaching is a single mom, Heather, and her 15-year-old son, Matt. We're teaching them in a members' home. Last week they came to church. Heather has problems believing even that Jesus is divine so the members wanted us to do a lesson on that. This week our lesson was a testimony meeting, and we had testimonies from us, the members, Job, Peter, the brother of Jared, President Hinckley, Elder Wirthlin, Elder Hales, and Elder Holland. This week Heather said she wasn't feeling well but Matt called the members--who are almost sixty--and asked for a ride to church! It was a huge step. We think Matt could and would get baptized but it would be a while before he would get his mom's permission. With a little time, though, I think we'll get him, at least.

We also learned that a part-member family--the member is the sister of the dad of my first baptism--agreed to have the lessons in the bishop's home! And another investigator has set a date for June! And we have two other referrals we're still trying to get a hold of--one of whom is African and has a member uncle! It's exciting.

This is an interesting story that happened a while ago but I don't think I've told you yet. During my first transfer I found an area here in Mead that I had dreamt about before my mission. That was pretty interesting. But then, one of my first days with Elder C., I found another place I'd dreamt about while I was in the MTC. The main difference was that in the dream it was a mud road (and family was on the road) and here it was paved (and no family), but it's totally the same place. These places are places we don't go often and nothing significant has come out of them, but it is very interesting that there are not one but two places I've dreamt about before I've seen them. The dreams were insignificant, the real places were insignificant, but it is still very interesting.

Thanks for letting me know about how you will be sending a package. Last night I had a dream that I was waiting for a package and it didn't come until you brought it up here yourselves (I don't know why you were visiting) and it was huge. It had some of your clothes in it (I think to fill space) and I couldn't figure out why you sent Christmas candy because it wasn't even the Fourth of July. I feel guilty asking for all those things. Hopefully I won't ask for anything else for a while, since most things I request are silly and somewhat costly.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Until next week,

Elder Melville

1I think my mom erroneously thought this meant that I paid for everyone else’s lunch. Nope. I just paid for my own.

2This album was The Very Best of Michelle Tumes. She’s like Enya. I actually learned after my mission that one of the songs, “Please Come Back,” was actually about the Prodigal Son from the father’s perspective, so it was totally mission appropriate. It wouldn’t surprise me if the other one, “Do Ya,” also had some Christian meaning.

Suit coat OFF (4/14/08)

This week it got really warm and we got to shed our suit coats. Today hopefully I will get my good suit drycleaned so next week I can ship my worn one off. Elder C. pointed out that even the jacket is wearing. 

This was a mediocre week (although we had three investigators at church) and I was on an exchange in another area the day we had all our best appointments so this letter will focus more on silly anecdotes. I had to go on two  exchanges this week. I felt like my companion was district leader again.

I am keeping a list of funny scriptures and I found some more this week. One is in Proverbs 6 (I don't remember the verse) and it says "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways and be wise."¹ Another one wasn't so funny but Alma made a mistake in writing. He said that the Nephites were shielded from the more vital parts of the body.² You can't erase engravings in gold so he had to correct and clarify that it was the parts of the body that were shielded, not attacking. I have to read four chapters a day for the next month so I can get through on May 10.³ Hopefully I can do that. If I can today and tomorrow  it will be easier because I will finish Alma. The last half of Alma is the war chapters which I don't like that much. Everyone loves Captain Moroni and the two thousand stripling soldiers (they are soldiers, not warriors)⁴ but reading about building up heaps of earth to protect cities gets tiresome after a while. Once I finish the Book of Mormon I can get back to the Old Testament (I put Proverbs on hold until I get done with the Book of Mormon) which can also get tedious but I haven't read all of it before like I have Alma. 

Speaking of the Old Testament, Duane, our on-date, was telling the bishop that he likes to read a Proverb or a Psalm every day. Elder C. and I looked at each other because we have had many discussions about how we hate Psalms. Can you say overrated? Especially if you read "Praise to the Lord. Selah" over and over again. 

Yesterday in sacrament meeting we sang "Savior, Redeemer of My  Soul." In the program they printed it "Save your Redeemer of My Soul." I also looked in the hymn book and found out that the tune name for "They the Builders of the Nation" is "Beaver." I can just imagine them playing a hymn about pioneers as background music for a documentary about flat-tailed, dam-building mammals. 

We got a list of less-actives and part-member families the bishop wanted us to see and our ward mission leader typed out. There was one named Mitch W. but he typed it Witch W. and we had no idea  what it was supposed to be. The thought of someone being called Witch was so funny to me I even snorted in front of Elder C.

Next week is transfers. I hope our companionship stays the same but I'll find out Saturday. We had interviews this week and President C. told Elder C. we were a good companionship. This week a sister missionary in the other district had to go home for medical reasons and she'll be gone for six weeks to six months. The other sister, Sister G. (the g is soft as in gel), had to come down here and form a threesome in our district while the elders up in Colville take over both areas. Sister G. is the first sister I've seen who's willing to play dodgeball with us.⁵

Well, I can't think of anything else to write so until next week (when I'll know  my future for six more weeks),

Love, 

Elder Melville

1Proverbs 6:6.

2Alma 43:38.

3After Gordon B. Hinckley died, our mission president wanted us to read the Book of Mormon in ninety-seven days.

4Alma 53:22 calls them “stripling soldiers.” “Stripling warriors” occurs nowhere in the Book of Mormon. “Soldiers” is a word we use regularly, but “stripling” is not, so it’s always puzzled me that we keep the word we don’t know, but get rid of the word we do know.

5We would play dodgeball on P-Day, and it was the only sport I liked playing. We wouldn’t play in teams; it was every man for himself. Whenever you got someone out, they would sit down, but if you got out, then everyone you hit would be back in the game. So the game ended when one person got everyone out. I liked this version because I didn’t feel like I was letting everyone down. But sadly, no one ever plays this way. :(

No package to send yet (4/7/08)

I got a full hour today so I don't have to rush.

We are still not permitted to take off our suit coats until it hits around 75 degrees so it may be a while before I get to send my suit home, considering it snowed on Saturday.[1] I'll still have to make do with my holey pants. The holes just lead to the inner lining of the pants, so no one will notice, especially compared to Elder Condie's enormous holes in his pants. We  were teaching the youth on the fifth Sunday and he was sitting on a table. Only later did he realize what pants he was wearing and that he should not have been sitting like that.

I loved conference! I've always had a hard time paying attention and I still did a little bit this conference but I think I picked up more than usual. Part of that might be watching it in a stake center. We could have watched it with the Welshes on the BYU channel but Elder Condie wanted to go to the church building. The favorite part of all the missionaries was when Elder Bednar said the missionaries are the full-time teachers and the members are the full-time finders.[2] I love referrals! The solemn assembly was interesting. I don't remember the conference after President Hunter died (although I do remember the day he died) so I didn't know that's what they did.

President Clark came and interviewed Duane and Vickie and they're good to go for the 26th, when Duane will be off probation.[3] He even wants to come to the baptism. Transfers are in two weeks and I hope I'm not transferred before they're baptized. Not this coming transfer but the next there are eighteen new missionaries coming in and everyone is saying they think I'll train, since President has to get a lot of new zone leaders as well (many of the current ones are going home) and that is a lot of new missionaries. If that is the case, it would probably mean I'll get shipped off to a new area in two weeks, stay with that companion for a transfer, and then train for two (if I stayed in the same area it would be nine months by the time I was done training and that would be a long time). But that is all just speculation. I don't feel qualified to train, although President wrote Elder Condie and told him to give me a lot of responsibility to help me grow.[4]

As for the "unique spirit" thing--I think everyone took that far more seriously than I intended. Sure, that was my interpretation, but I wasn't really offended or anything by it.[5]

I can't believe Allie is going to kindergarten. That's less than five months away. I really can't believe that in less than four months she'll be five--I think she'll be four to me until I come home. And Preston will be three. And Franklin just doesn't exist until I get home.

I can't think of anything else about which to write at the moment.[6] If I think of anything else the next fifteen minutes while I'm here I'll send you another email but nothing might come to me.

Sincerely,

Elder Melville

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[1] The general rule was that we wore our suit coats between October and April conferences, but not between April and October. But in April, they told us we still needed to wear them longer, but in October, we had to wear them even if it was warm. I thought that was dumb. It should either be a weather thing, or a conference thing, not some arbitrary whim that could change.

[2] I recently cited this talk on my other blog, but in a much different context. Elder Bednar visited my mission when it was almost time for me to go home, and he referenced this talk, saying he heard all the missionaries squeal with delight when he said it.

[3] His probation was extended, and they dropped off and never got baptized.

[4] This was kind of a presumptuous paragraph. I never trained in my entire mission, nor was I a district leader or a zone leader. And when I think of some of the missionaries who did serve in leadership roles, I’m fine with that.

[5] See last week’s post.

[6] “About which to write”—ugh. This is why you don’t teach people that you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition. That’s false, and it makes awkward phrases like this one.

Late P-Day (4/1/08)

If you're wondering why you're getting this on Tuesday instead of Monday, it is because we went to the temple today. We are only allowed to go on P-day once every three months, but the temple is closed on Monday. Therefore we have to email today. The temple took up a lot of time so I'm short on minutes again today. Elder C. only emails President so he has to wait a while for me. Hopefully next week we can get the full hour again.[1]

I'm going to wait on the package until after Conference. I am sending back my gray suit because both pairs of pants are worn.[2] After Conference  we get to take off our jackets and I'll be in slacks but I can't afford to have only one suit at the moment. I'm concerned about removing the jacket. It hides my obesity.

I also discovered that my camera has a video feature on it so when I send the package you'll get some video clips of me, Elder C., members, and a goofy little  dog.

I think I would like the History of the Church. Getting it sent will be the biggest obstacle, I think. If they have it on CD that would be the most economic but if not paperback would be good.

I got a letter from Bishop Jones with highlights of all the missionaries from our ward. It was good to hear Ryan [last name redacted] sent in his papers. They included excerpts from all the missionaries' letters home. To preface mine they said I charm people with my unique spirit. "Unique spirit" is clearly a euphemism for weirdo--but oh, well.[3]

I hate having such little time to email. Hopefully I really will write snail mail today and I can tell you all the amazing things happening. I'll give you a brief recap--Duane and Vickie's baptism has been postponed because Duane is on probation; some members brought a friend to church and we put her on-date for baptism, only to discover she's not in our ward; and Chelsea, a 15-year-old we taught a little bit, is on date by the elders up in Chewelah (chuh-WEE-luh)!

I hope to give you greater details!

Love, Elder Melville

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[1] Elder C. was very disobedient, and he refused to write letters on P-Day “because there’s plenty of time to write throughout the week,” and he would even discourage me from writing on P-Day. What a jerk.

[2] This is one experience that has led me not to trust Mr. Mac. The pants of this suit had holes worn on the inside of the thighs, and even the jacket began wearing out after only three months! My mom took the suit back, and the salesman tried to replace it with the same suit. My mom said, “That’s the same suit, it will just wear out again.” He responded, “Well, if you’re a missionary with thunder thighs, that’s going to happen.” Not to mention the fact that they tailored my slacks (not the ones with the suits) literally four inches larger in the waist than they measured me.

[3] My mom often forwarded these emails to other ward members, but apparently she didn’t forward this one because of this “weirdo” comment. The Bishop apologized to her because he didn’t mean it that way. I mostly said it in jest, and I explained that in a later letter.

Briefly (3/24/08)

So I know you're on vacation, which means you probably won't read this for a while. But today we didn't reserve computers at the library, so I only get a half hour today, so I have to keep it simple. It was a very eventful week so I will try to write you a snail mail if I can find the time. We are super busy--which is good--so I don't know how soon I'll be able to send it off. I'm also sending a package home soon but I'll wait until you're home from your trip.

Love,

Letter Mark[1]

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[1] A few months before I left, someone had posted a sign in my neighborhood that said, “Welcome home, Elder D!” My mom read it to my four-year-old niece, Allie, and said they could make a similar sign for me. But a four-year-old has never heard of “Elder D,” but they have heard of “the letter D.” So Allie began saying that they would make a sign for me that said, “Welcome home, Letter Mark!” I was sorely disappointed when I returned home and six-year-old Allie had insisted on “Elder Mark” instead of “Letter Mark.”

(no subject) (3/17/08)

[1]So my new companion is another white nerdy Utah boy with glasses who worked at Wal-Mart[2] so it makes the Church seem less diverse than when I was with Elder Ch., a Hawaiian Californian Renaissance Man. It will definitely be a different experience with Elder Co. He looks like Chicken Little. He is kind of what happens if you cross me and Elder Ch. as far as various interests go.

I'm officially no longer a greenie but the wards don't tend to think so and they don't really trust me.[3] Oh, well. It's not my permanent ward.

Sorry I didn't send a paper letter this week. There wasn't anything else I really needed to say and I didn't have time. I might try to write you a little less so I can catch up on writing back the other people who've written me.

So our new district consists of Elder Melville and Elder Co.; Elder C. J., district leader, and his greenie, Elder D. (I listed them in our phone as My Two Sons,[4] and whenever I see it the <i>My Three Sons</i> theme pops into my head, so I might have to change that); Elder Cly. and Elder B., the latter of whom is sort of notorious for being an apostate;[5] Elder G. and Elder Cla., zone leaders; and Sister Sha. and Sister Shi., the latter of whom had an anxiety attack during district meeting.

Yesterday Duane, our investigator, showed up at church and participated in classes. They are so completely golden. There is a scary possibility with them with a funny story behind it. When he was on the wrong track Duane stole a computer from Wal-Mart then fell asleep in the car in the parking lot. He also tried to load thirty lawnmowers on a truck and steal the truck. He was caught with both crimes but they were going to let the lawnmower charge go since he was going to jail for the computer. Now, four years later, the lawnmowers have come back so he has a court hearing in a few weeks. We hope they'll let him off.

Speaking of jail, our drunk investigator (who was sober when we saw him this week) might go to jail because he was charged with indecent exposure and then failed to go to court. He wants to go to jail so he can quit smoking and drinking but he worries without medication he'll die in jail. I've never met someone who wanted to go to jail before.

Well, the Welshes[6] are going to take us to Costco and Elder Co. is waiting for me even though I have a while left on the computer. If I think of anything else important I'll write you a snail mail.

Happy St. Patrick's Day and Easter. The 22nd or the 23rd (I can't remember which) is the earliest Easter can be so this is an unusual year.[7] My tie isn't terribly green but no one wants to pinch missionaries, as far as I know....[8]

--Elder Melville

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[1] I don’t know whether I forgot to give the email a subject, or if I consciously typed “(no subject).”

[2] I worked in the Walmart deli from June to October 2007.

[3] I’m so quiet that people thought I was green even in my last area.

[4] Both their names ended in “son” (I edited the names out for the internet).

[5] “Apostate” in mission lingo means disobedient. This elder toned it down by the time I met him.

[6] The couple we lived with.

[7] Easter was on March 23, 2008, the earliest I can remember.

[8] I had asked my family to send me a tie that was unquestionably green, so what did they do? They sent me a tie and said, “I’m not sure this is green enough for you.” Exactly what I wanted them not to do. They said they wanted it to match the suit. :/

Transfers (3/10/08)

Tomorrow are transfers. I'm staying in Mead and receiving an Elder S. Co. (I don't know if that's correct spelling)[1] while  Elder Ch. goes to Coeur d'Alene to be a zone leader. I'm terrified about being left with an area. I know as far as my benefit goes it's better than me going to a completely new area--then I'd feel like it was my first day again--but it's really scary.

Last transfer everyone stayed the same and this time every companionship is changing. It will be an interesting experience. Elder C. J. has been out six months and this will be his first time as a district leader and trainer. Elder Ch. doesn't really like my new companion but Elder J. does. I don't know yet because I don't meet him until tomorrow. We are also getting an elder with a lot of rumors--bad thing--and Sister S., the odd duck I wrote about who showed me the video of her skirt flying up.[2] This will be a  veeerry interesting transfer for Elder J. I will officially be no longer green, which is both good and bad because I am sick of being new but I no longer have an excuse for my mistakes.

I had my first baptism this week but I don't feel like  it's anything special because I only taught her two pre-baptism lessons--not the real lessons--and her dad baptized her.  It was a  ten-year-old in a less-active family.[3]

We have a couple of new  investigators. Duane and Vickie are golden--they already are planning for baptism and we just started teaching them. They know the Church is true and Duane knew he had to quit coffee since the Church doesn't use it before we even talked about baptism. There are so many fantastic things denoting their readiness that I'm not even going to try.[4]

Mark is not so golden. Three of the four times we've met with him he's been drunk. The other time he was going through withdrawals. We gave a shave and a haircut to him (Elder Ch. did the hair, and yes, I shaved a drunk man's beard) and he liked it then but last night when he was drunk he told us he didn't like us and if we wouldn't get a book from the bookstore for him he wouldn't let us keep coming over. We're going to see him tonight and see what the case is with that.  He is lonely which is why we're meeting him and why he's an alcoholic. It just makes me realize how inspired the Word of Wisdom is. Between the beer and the cigarettes--LOTS of those--we leave his apartment smelling terrible.[5]

We teach a less-active woman's unbaptized ADHD kids who are very funny. We need to take a tape recorder to the lessons. Last week the ten-year-old boy was talking about how his mom has the Gift of the Holy Ghost but sometimes she loses it when she yells at them. Elder Ch. was teaching repentance and said, "Let's say you cheated on a test." His response was, "How did you know?" When he saw "Another Testament of Jesus Christ" on the Book of Mormon, not realizing it was the same as the one he already had, he said, "This must be the second season!"

By the way, thanks for the package, although the g's are way too big. I'm excited about the books and candy.[6] Regarding the History of the Church, I know it's big, which is why I wasn't totally sure I wanted you to send it. It would not be something that I would want to have one volume at a time--I would like it for a reference, not for something just to read through (I have enough of that).[7] I wonder if they have it on CD. That would be less convenient as far as reference  goes but would be easier for shipping and carrying purposes. I still would like one of the said media but it's no big rush, hurry or desire. I'm not asking for it now but next time you do send a package I might like a Children's  Songbook both as the small book and the CDs. I really like some of the primary songs--I just wish the CDs didn't have them sung by children since that can get tiresome.[8]

It seems like there was something else I was going to write. I know I'll think of it later and hopefully I can put it in my snail mail. Next week you should get the installment concerning my new cpmpanion and taking the reins of the area.

Love,

Elder Melville

P.S. If you want a laugh, read Mosiah 12:1.[9]

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[1] Remember that I am not including full names, or even unabbreviated names of my companions, for privacy’s sake.

[2] See this post.

[3] I don’t think they remained active. I wish I had done things differently in the ensuing transfers, but I didn’t know any better.

[4] Duane and Vickie are one of the great mysteries of my mission. They were golden and very excited for baptism, but then they just quit really talking to us. Duane was a recovering addict/criminal, and his probation was extended, which delayed baptism, so that might have had something to do with it; but they were really gung ho, and then stopped.

[5] We started visiting Mark because his therapist was a member in a different ward. Mark did later quit drinking, though after we had quit visiting. The member would make comments about me being scared of him. I resented the comment, but he was somewhat right. Thanks to Mark and other people, I can no longer distinguish the smells of beer and cigarettes from each other. They just go together.

[6] She sent me the JST of the New Testament and Easter candy. Easter was on March 23 that year, the earliest I’ve ever seen it.

[7] My mom had suggested she could send me one volume at a time of History of the Church and I could send them back when I was done.

[8] I did come to enjoy listening to the Children’s Songbook CDs, since missionary music is limited. But the music on the CDs is terrible! So bad!

[9] “And it came to pass that after the space of two years that Abinadi came among them in disguise, that they knew him not, and began to prophesy among them, saying: Thus has the Lord commanded me, saying—Abinadi, go and prophesy unto this my people.” Pro tip: If you’re going to wear a disguise, don’t tell them your name!