July 2-5, 2013

I'm going to remember the days surrounding the Fourth of July last year, which I spent in California with my brother's family.

July 2. I got up and got dressed in my red shorts and blue shirt with a red "76" on it. We were going to Six Flags that day. We had a fifteen-year-old girl with a weird name with us, and I think another young women's leader and another young woman came. Once we were at Six Flags, I think we went on a couple of rides, and I followed the young women's leader and the two young women to a ride that wasn't for the kids. The leader asked me how old I was, probably because I was so awkward and quiet. I asked the teenage girl I was sitting by on the ride if she had been to Six Flags; she told me she grew up in a family that usually went to Disneyland. After the ride, my head hurt, and I didn't feel up to more rides. I met up with my family, and I ended up taking Baby (when he still let us call him that) into a play area, but I would have preferred to sit down. We saw the walruses out playing. Franklin said some R-rated things about one of the walruses, and later the walruses engaged in some adult behavior, and Preston said he thought they were married. Then we went to go to one of the shows, all while I didn't feel very well. I thought the show was too circusy and not dolphiny enough. We went to a gift shop to get things for the boys. I really wanted a walrus shirt, but they didn't have any in my size, even when I asked. My mom told the boys they could get something not at Six Flags if they wanted, which I kind of thought defeated the purpose. Baby wanted some green candy, but we tried to talk him out of it. We were leaving, but Baby didn't want to leave. So David stayed with him while the rest of us walked out to wait for the shuttle. I really did not feel well at this point; my head hurt, and I was really impatient for the shuttle to come. Baby decided he didn't want to stay after all, so they came and joined us. I got on the shuttle and had to rest my head. When we got to the parking lot, my dad accompanied me to our car so I wouldn't faint and because my mom was worried about me. I got a Gatorade and some patriotic Goldfish from the back and took them up in the seat. Then we went to lunch at Taco Bell, which Preston wasn't happy about. My mom told me I should get some sugar, and I reminded her of the time on October 13 when I had felt faint and got a pumpkin empanada at Taco Time and she had told me it wasn't good to have sugar when I felt like that, and then she told me she had been wrong on that occasion. I got a slushy drink with my food. Then we drove over to Toys R Us, where my mom was going to buy the promised toys instead of the Six Flags toys. I stayed in the car and slept, and I think it was really windy. Preston came out a little early, and he wanted to pee in a bottle, and Ya-ping reluctantly agreed. But when David came out, he rightfully reprimanded Preston for wanting to do that and told him he couldn't. They had bought a Perry the Platypus karaoke machine and some toys inspired by garbage. Then we went back to David's house, where David set up the karaoke toy for the boys to play with. They liked playing with it, but it sometimes caused some arguments between Franklin and Baby, and my mom said if they couldn't play nice we'd have to put it up. Later, I found Bewitched on, so I watched it. Preston seemed to like it, and laughed at the moving chair. Then the inferior I Dream of Jeannie came on; in this episode, Tony told Jeannie to get all the women's clothes out of the room, and in so doing she accidentally took the clothes off of the women in the room, exposing their slips. David asked if that was appropriate for his kids to be watching, and I said it was better than the movie Brave, and my mom agreed that it wasn't sexual and they were only in their slips. David tried to defend Brave as more appropriate, but it was obvious he was just trying to be right, because his argument had no substance.

July 3. I was awake, but I felt sick, so I didn't want to get up. I heard Preston saying he wanted to watch "the witch show," but they told him it wasn't on. Then I heard the boys playing the Beatles karaoke David had found. David went to work and Ya-ping and my mom went to the store. My dad was on his computer, and I could hear Baby and Franklin arguing over the karaoke machine. Remembering what my mom had said to them about playing nice, I went out and took it away from them and put it up. Ever-happy Baby was fine with that, but Franklin was mad and started hitting me. Preston was on the couch chuckling, and Franklin went over and screamed and started hitting Preston. I pulled him away and told him he needed to go to his room, and he said defiantly, "No!" I didn't enforce it, but he seemed to get better, although he still had some screaming fits during the day. Ya-ping and my mom came back, and Ya-ping set up a table for us to eat sandwiches. She had a thing that cut sandwiches into heart shapes, and Franklin refused to eat such a sandwich because he associated the heart shape with "a woman." That night, David took Franklin and Preston (maybe Baby too) in the car to go find some fireworks to watch. David talked about memories of our grandparents, memories I was too young to remember. Somehow the topic got turned to Twilight, which I have never read or seen, and I remarked how when I was in high school, I heard good things about it, but now everyone makes fun of it. Then David said that's because I'm not surrounded by teenage girls anymore. Then he said that teenage girls also like Justin Bieber (and I also said One Direction). Preston asked if Justin has so many girls in love with him, why isn't he married? David explained that he's still destroying his life. (This was before some of his more recent legal trouble.)

July 4. In the morning, we were figuring out what we wanted to do. David left with the boys to go to some park, basically without consulting us. When he returned, he said that that park's festivities weren't that good. I was so amused by the bags my nephews got that I had to take a picture with my mom's phone to load it to Facebook.

I got on my dad's little computer to do my scripture study and look at my Facebook. Sarena posted about Thurl Bailey singing to her; I "liked" her post, hoping she would know I wasn't mad at her, despite some pretty harsh words I had made relative to a comment she had made on my status a few weeks earlier. We had bought a charcoal grill for David, but we didn't really know how to use it. It took a really long time to cook, and all it did was smoke, so we ended up with smoky chicken. I was in the backyard with Baby, and he was shyly handing me the gray rocks from their backyard. At some point David was chanting "USA" because of my t-shirt. Later we went to Baby's school to play on the playground there. Franklin was better at climbing on the climbing wall than Preston was. We also brought a kite, but we didn't seem to have much success with that.

Later, we went near the bay to watch fireworks. When we got in the car, Baby was really sad about something, but we couldn't understand it. Then he started crying, which made him even harder to understand. It turned out he was sad no one was sitting by him in the backseat of the Suburban. I had to bring my water bottle with me because my throat hurt really bad. It was a very uncomfortable Fourth of July, and I was sad that I didn't get the familiar smoke smell and booming sounds of the fireworks, because they were all far away. It was kind of cool, however, to see multiple shows at once. Then we went home, and I think my mom and Ya-ping went to a store, and my mom got me some lime cucumber Gatorade, since my throat was so sore.

July 5. I think I had taken a popsicle out of the freezer, and Franklin saw me with it, and said, "Why do you get one every day?" But in fact he had eaten more sugar than I had that day. Later David saw my Gatorade and said, "Lime cucumber?" I said I loved it. At one point, Franklin saw my Gatorade and said, "I want a big Gatorade," since the ones we had brought were little ones. But I told him it was the only one there was. I think I went to Costco with my parents to get things for our drive back home. I packed up all my stuff to go home so we could leave in the morning.

The day before Memorial Day

Last week I blogged about the Saturday before Memorial Day, and this week the topic is the day before the holiday (Sunday).

2013. After church I drove home, and I remember in the evening sitting on the couch in the living room, writing my blogs.

2012. I remember going to the singles ward up in NSL, and I felt bad that Brittany Bowman moved into that ward after I had unfriended her on Facebook. My mom had made a birthday cake for my dad with red, white, and blue sprinkles so that I could eat it. When she dished out my bowl, she had even put sprinkles on the ice cream. I didn't think sprinkles belonged on ice cream, and I would have been able to eat it anyway, since it was paired with the patriotic cake.

2011. I think I wore a sweater to the NSL singles ward, because it was a cool day and I could.

2010. I would have been home this day, but I can't remember what I did.

2009. This is what my journal says. I think when we met Rebecca's brother, we were looking for her, but he was the only one home and invited us in: "At church today Kim told us the talk with her mom wasn't the greatest, so we're going over tomorrow.

"This afternoon we tracted a small street but few people were home. Then we had dinner with the Smiths. After that we contacted Rebecca Dyer's brother, who isn't a member, so hopefully we can possibly teach him. Then we visited Brother Nickel, and gave Sister Carter a blessing."

2008. My companion at this time ruined my mission for those three months, and later during the week blamed me for all his shortcomings. At our visit with the Hokes, we were there way too long, and they played Bill Cosby's chocolate cake routine. Here is what the journal says:
"Today, Kristy and Austin were our only investigators at church, although Gina, an investigator from another stake, came with her friend.

"We overstayed with the Hokes--great family--and then we tried to see people. Our numbers this week are bad, and P-day isn't tomorrow. It will be an interesting day."

2007. We were camped in the backyard of my late grandparents' house, and I think that night we watched The Flying Nun on the little portable DVD player, in the trailer. 

2004. I think this was the time that we went down to my grandparents' house in Fillmore to go to church. I was dismayed when I realized that I had forgotten my dress shoes, but Grandpa Boyd told me that a lot of people at church wouldn't be in dress shoes either. But people wouldn't have noticed my shoes. David, Ya-ping, and a friend had not brought any church clothes at all. David said it was because they didn't know if they would be going to church. It seemed pretty obvious to me that if you didn't know, you would bring clothes just in case. They didn't even shower before church, and we had been camping. We were embarrassed to be with them, and Mom was really mad.

2001. My dad wasn't happy to turn 50. We were at Shingle Mill campground in Fillmore Canyon. That day we went to my grandparents' house in Fillmore before and after church; my dad said that it was fifty years ago to the day that he first entered the doorway to the kitchen (when he was born, the kitchen door was the front door of the house). Grandpa Boyd told my dad that he remembered when he came into the world. We went back up to the canyon, and my aunt Sarena brought my dad a cake that had "Over the Hill" decorations and black frosting on the edges. My cousin Steven got some all over his face and we discovered that the black frosting was blue when it was diluted.  Then my uncle Mike invited me to go adventuring in the red Jeep with him and my cousins Krishelle and Terrill. We went up the canyon, and I think we saw a place for cattle to drink. Then we looked out over Fillmore from the canyon; Mike pointed out the Maverik station. Krishelle pointed out tiny Flowell. We went to the "M" for "Millard" on the mountain; there were tin can lanterns all over the M for them to light up. I was immature and I thought it would be funny to make some weird noises by vibrating my cheeks. It really annoyed Krishelle, who kept saying "Stop that!" Then we went to a place known colloquially in Fillmore as Pink Elephant Lane; my uncle said that my dad had once crashed there. He told some silly jokes: Why do pink elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in cherry trees and Why do they paint their toenails green? So they can hide in lime trees. Then we went and filled up the Jeep at the Maverik station; I was surprised my uncle was buying gas on Sunday and I was especially surprised that he was also buying drinks. A snake had hitched a ride on the Jeep and fell off at the gas station. Mike asked a girl at another pump if she wanted a snake; she saw it and was a bit grossed out. Then we went back up to the canyon and our trailer's porch light was on. It was about 10:30 and everyone was going to bed; I was sad I missed a night of campfire business. This paragraph was taken from My dad's birthdays.

1993 or 1994. This might have been the time we had a little campfire devotional service. My memory tells me we even had sacrament, which is a big no-no, but since I was so young, it's possible that didn't happen.

Two days before Memorial Day

Memorial Day is coming up, so I'm going to remember what I did on the Saturday before Memorial Day.

2013. I went to the Deseret Book/Distribution store to buy a new journal. I wanted the Church-made ones, so I looked all over Distribution. I asked someone where they were, and she directed me back to Deseret Book. I looked at their journals, but there were none of the Church-made ones, so I didn't buy one. I remember spending a lot of time in the library, working on an assignment for my editing class. This might have been the time that when I went over to the restroom, I saw two people from my ward, Ben Savio and David Jones. This is what my journal says:
"I went to buy a new journal today, but apparently they don't make these anymore. I've had a really hard time staying focused and motivated today. The only productive thing I did was spend a few hours on an editing assignment, but I should have done more, 'cause it's a doozy. I have a cold or something."

2012. We were camping, and I had some hot chocolate with red, white, and blue star-shaped marshmallows in it. It was cold and wet. Susanne came up, and she had brought Buddy the dog. He was getting all in the mud, and then he would jump up on Allie and Susanne and get his muddy pawprints on the blanket. Nan said she used to make fun of someone who brought her dog camping, and here she was the crazy dog person. We were all thinking the same thing. Eventually we all left, and I was dropped off at my apartment. I offered to Allie to use my bathroom, but she didn't want to. When I told her that my roommates weren't home, she was willing to come in. My dad came in too, and for a brief moment my roommate Cameron came home and he seemed a little freaked out to see a strange man in the apartment. They left, and I got ready to come up. But I left a little later than I expected. I went to Smith's in Bountiful to get salt and vinegar chips and root beer for my dad's birthday, and while I was there my mom called me (or texted me) to see where I was.

2011. I remember going to Walmart with my family, and Allie was saying she wanted a treat. My mom offered to get her the movie Gnomeo and Juliet. But then she was saying again that she wanted a treat, and would rather have it than the movie. I pointed out to her how silly that was, because she could watch a movie over and over, and we still had some of my dad's birthday cake at home. My mom agreed with me, to Allie's chagrin.

2010. My parents came early in the morning to pick me up to go to Fillmore. I gave my dad the DVD I had bought for his birthday when I got in the car, and I even told my parents about the concert I had been to the night before and had brought the CD I got there, but they didn't seem interested. We went to McDonald's for breakfast, which I wasn't happy about, and Allie said, "Maybe we're going here because I'm here." She had a bunch of DVDs to watch in her portable DVD player. She had brought the movie Mamma Mia! which I didn't want to be around, as very few PG-13 movies fit my standards (I wondered why she was allowed to watch it!). My mom asked Allie if she could watch something else for me. Later, Allie was watching a Barbie movie, and she told me that I could watch it because it had boys in it; and she also told me I could watch Mamma Mia! because it had boys in it. I thought it was funny that the six-year-old thought I didn't want to watch a movie because I thought it didn't have boys in it. We went to Fillmore Canyon, and Matt and I were standing on a grassy portion near the creek, where the kids were throwing rocks into the stream. Matt asked me what classes I was taking; I said, "French and New Testament," and he said he had taken French. Allie tried to throw a rock in the stream, and she missed horribly and threw it at us. We went back up to the picnic area, and Sarena was making homemade ice cream. Allie said, "I want to sit on this rock," so we let her and walked away. Then Susanne realized that she was sitting there, waiting for Sarena to share her ice cream. She went and took Allie away. Allie was really mad, and Nan tried to explain why that wasn't polite. But then Sarena came around and offered some of her ice cream to all of us. Allie was happy about that, but I declined. We went back to Provo, and my dad rode up with me. I asked him if he wanted a granola bar, but he didn't.

2009. We were helping the Catmulls next door, and Sister Catmull offered us pizza. She asked me what I liked or didn't like, and I said I liked everything but mushrooms. One of the pizzas ended up being Hawaiian, which Elder LaPratt didn't like. Their grandson Tyson and his girlfriend and our investigator, Kim, were there. They also had a great-grandson, a two-year-old named Jake, there. He pointed to the fancy pizza with tomatoes on it, probably because he thought the tomatoes looked good. But when he tasted it, he got this cringe on his face. It was really funny. This is what my journal says:
"This morning we were going to help Brother Cooper, but he wasn't home. We visited Brother Sabin. At the end of lunch, Tyson Ball asked if we could help his grandpa next door. We did, and that allowed us to have a lesson with Kim after dinner. That went well. After that we helped the Ruddells."

2008. I don't remember much about this day, but I think we met with Denise in the church building after Elder Condie played in the stake softball game. This might have been the day I was amused by the scriptures talking about the fathers eating a sour grape and the children's teeth being set on edge. One of the members said, "Sounds like sour grapes to me." (Our district, including our zone leaders, would play softball with the ward members, which I don't necessarily think is a bad idea, but it was later forbidden. I would sit and read my scriptures, but it probably would have been better if I interacted with members, which was the point of playing.) This is what my journal says:
"There were two softball games today. I was able to read much of Isaiah during it. Then Denise kept her appointment and hopefully she'll come to church. We met with the Curtisses, and then stopped by various people. The Welshes made us dinner.

"Elder Condie wanted me to redo the progress records. It seems like he disapproves of everything I do since interviews."

2002. I was released from the hospital in the morning from having anaphylaxis. My grandparents came over, and my mom was folding laundry. I was mortified that she was folding my underwear in front of them, so I kept throwing water at her in the hopes that she would stop, but it just made her mad. I was talking about how my Spanish teacher had said that any extra credit had to be done before Friday (the day before), no exceptions, that if you were in the ambulance on your way to the hospital, it would still be too late. Although I wasn't doing any extra credit, I was in fact in an ambulance on my way to the hospital that day.

2001. I think we were playing with the little helicopter toys my mom had brought camping. Sometimes they would fly on top of the outhouse, which was brand new and therefore not smelly. My cousin Rayce would climb up and get it. I think I imagined it would be really funny if it landed in the little pipe thing.

1995. I think this was the time that I was riding up in a car with my dad, Susanne, and my cousins Rayce and Krishelle. My dad and sister were remarking about how high the creek was and were saying we couldn't play in it. Krishelle and I were talking about how it freaked us out to drive by the cliffs on the side of the road. When we got up to the campsite, my mom, who had been in another vehicle, got all the kids together and said, "OK, the rule is," and then she explained we couldn't go by the water. We told her we knew that already. She clapped her hands together at some point (I think after "OK"); I don't know if it was to get our attention or for dramatic effect.

Brother Heaston, the false-doctrine seminary teacher

In ninth grade at South Davis Junior High, I began seminary.

And looking back, it's sad to me that all of us students were introduced into seminary by having one Brother Heaston. We all liked him when we had him; he was a fun guy, and I think he was good at making students passionate about the gospel.

But I remember a few years later, I was in a conversation with people who had him, and although we had liked him at the time, we realized he taught some false doctrines and did some other questionable things. So I'm going to remember some of the things that make me question why he still got to teach seminary.

For one thing, his class was the most rigorous seminary class I had all four years, and it was more taxing than many of my regular classes. During spring break, we had to do a writeup about Isaiah. It was due the day after Easter, and it required us to read every day during spring break and write about it. Which meant he was basically ensuring that we would be doing homework on Easter, a family day. Toward the end of the year, we had to spend ten hours on a gospel project, at a time when we had projects in other classes.

Now, there's nothing wrong with challenging seminary classes, because many students don't take it seriously. But his demands were excessive, and since it was our first seminary class, we didn't know just how excessive it was.

There was one day in which we had an entire lesson for the entire class period about how we should never call adults by their first name, or even just their last name--even if they asked us to call them by their first name. We must always use "Brother or Sister" or "Mr. or Mrs." But calling your friends' mom "Mom" was acceptable because it was a title. I understand the idea of respecting your elders--but to devote an entire lesson to it was a little ridiculous, and calling an adult "Sister" or "Mrs." when they asked you not to seems more disrespectful.

Once we had a lesson about fasting. He asked, "How long should you fast?" One student said, "Two meals." He said, "No, it is not two meals, it is twenty-four hours." Umm, a quick search on lds.org reveals that Church publications say two meals. I remember one conference talk in which a Seventy said "Two meals or twenty-four hours." So even with your point of twenty-four hours, you can't say "two meals" is incorrect, and in fact it looks like two meals is the more doctrinal one. "Two meals" may be easily misinterpreted, but it isn't wrong.

Occasionally we would write essays in class, and he would edit our papers when he gave them back, although we weren't graded on the grammar. However, he said that serial commas (also known as the Oxford comma) were incorrect, because a college professor had told him they were. Um, no. It depends on the style, but according to The Chicago Manual of Style, the most common style in the U.S., they say you should use them. They aid clarity. As a seminary teacher, he had no right to insist on not using those commas, especially when he was wrong. 

I remember one day when he passingly mentioned he didn't believe in dinosaurs. That seems so absurd to me that now I'm wondering if he really said that. But I think he did.

Early in the school year, he gave a lesson about how to give a good talk. One of the things he said to do was to engage the audience by saying, "Turn with me to [such and such a scripture]." The First Presidency has issued letters saying you shouldn't have people turn in their scriptures during sacrament meeting. I don't know if they issued that statement before he gave us that lesson, but it's wrong.

Once during the opening hymn, Colby Johnson was just lip-syncing to the opening hymn, so Brother Heaston sat directly in front of him to intimidate him into really singing.

One day someone was saying the prayer and saying "Lord" repeatedly throughout, and afterwards Brother Heaston told him it was a great prayer. It seems weird to me to compliment a prayer, especially if he didn't compliment others'.

One day, he was explaining that he didn't like movies like The Singles Ward because they make fun of our religion. It's OK not to like those movies (I find them a bit ridiculous), but I don't think they make fun of our religion--they make fun of the non-doctrinal subculture of our religion.

This was the year that The Passion of the Christ came out. He was very adamant that you shouldn't see it because it was rated R and the prophet said not to watch R-rated movies. That is not doctrine, and there are multiple reasons why. I wouldn't have a problem with him saying why he didn't think it advisable to see it, but to say not to simply because the prophet said not to--which isn't true--was overly simplistic.

One day, we learned about the requirement in the law of Moses to put lamb's blood on the right ear, thumb, and toe. As an object lesson, he took a red marker and made marks on those places on all of us. Which isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely odd, and a little hypocritical since he was a big advocate of not writing on yourself.

I'm sure there were other things he said or did that seemed wrong to me. I'm sure there are other things as well that didn't strike me as odd at that time, since I was young in the gospel, but if I heard them today I would find them false. After a mission, graduating from BYU, and being thrust into the world of Mormon scholarship because of my profession, I could engage him in a discussion and prove him wrong.