It looks like not emailing is a holiday thing (1/14/08)

This is the third installment of me reprinting my mission emails. There was a hiatus for a few weeks because I couldn’t email at Christmas and New Year’s, but I did still write home in the meantime.

Hello family!

I don't feel like writing anything coherent today so I'll just throw some stuff around. I'll start off with the missionary work and let the letter digress from there. Our investigators who were on date are no longer meeting with us. The nefarious boyfriend told them they couldn't visit with us anymore because he says it's none of our business if they're married or not. Sometimes I wonder if the Great Apostasy's really ended.[1]

On the other hand, we picked up four new investigators. We were meeting with a lady who knows the Church is true but years later hasn't been baptized because she won't give up smoking. Her son's 15-year-old girlfriend was there so we gave her a BoM and taught her about it and we're teaching her tomorrow. Then the lady's son's friend's mom and her mom and daughter came over and we taught them later. The girlfriend has been reading the BoM. The friend's mom, Michelle, wanted to meet with us kind of to bash but she said she feels less inclined to after meeting with us. We hope she continues to improve her opinion of us.

Now for the stuff I don't know how to organize...

I thought it was funny the other day when I was on exchanges. I saw a shop that was called Old Testament Bicycles, complete with a Christian fish on the front sign. Shortly thereafter was a billboard for Living Water Lawncare, including a quote from Proverbs. I'm not in Utah anymore, where we don't usually associate the Savior with green lawns...[2]

Yesterday was a musical day. We sang with the sister missionaries, Sister S. and Sister M., in their ward. We sang "Sweet Hour of Prayer" a cappella, SATB. All the ward members liked it, and it was good for the sisters because they have been having trouble with the members in that ward. Then Elder C. and I sang in the ward choir for ward conference. I was the only one singing bass, because I don't really know what the only other bass was singing. I don't think we sounded very good...

Speaking of sisters, I really like our female counterparts. I feel more comfortable with them than with other elders. On New Year's Day we spent a few hours at their house, eating crêpes, playing games and practicing our song. They went on exchanges the other day with another district, and Sister M.'s temporary companion, [another] Sister S., it seems is one of those people everyone knows for being weird. It was quite funny (to me at least). We had to open the stake center doors for them,[3] and while they waited for us Sister S. (from South Carolina) decided to jump backwards into the snow. She had Sister M. take a video on her camera (I guess cameras with video are permissible because everyone has them),[4] and then decided to show me. However, she had not previously viewed it and she was insanely embarrassed when her skirt flew up almost halfway up her thighs. Nothing was visible but I thought she was going to take up sackcloth and ashes, not for mourning or repentance but for embarrassment. Later we learned that other elders gave them blessings—[this second] Sister S. because she hurt her back jumping in the snow, and Sister M. because she was annoyed with Sister S.![5]

I had an amusing dream in which Sister M., Elder C. and I, and unknown elders were at a meeting (I couldn't figure out where [the first] Sister S. had gone) and Elder C. suggested that instead of calling them Sister we should call them Mother. Another elder said that instead of Mother  we should call them Queen. Sister M. said, "Queen--I like that." Everyone was pretty much joking in the dream, but it still makes a funny story, and Elder C. and I have occasionally thrown out a "Queen M." at her (you just don't keep a funny dream like that to yourself!).

Well, my email time is almost up, so I will close this cluttered letter. I know I was going to write more but I don't remember what. Whatever it was will be my subject material for my paper letter.

Love,

Elder Melville

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[1] With a decade of hindsight, I can see the boyfriend’s point, even if I disagree. We were teaching the lady and her boyfriend’s two kids, if I remember right.

[2] I was mistaken if I thought this was unique to Christianity, since we have many nonreligious businesses with Mormon names in Utah. There was a restaurant called the Steak Center, and Provo has a place called Called to Surf.

[3] I think the first Sister S. had taken the church keys with her when she left the area for the exchange.

[4] I had worried if I would be able to have my digital camera, since it could take video, which was forbidden in the instructions that came with my mission call. I recently looked at that again, and I have realized that it is impossible to follow every rule given to missionaries, because some of them contradict.

[5] This Sister S. requested blessings all the time, and the mission president eventually had to say, “You don’t use cancer treatment to cure a cold.”