Lamentations (February 11, 2008)

It was an interesting week when Elder Melville decided to write his weekly email in the third person. First-person narratives get a little tedious to write so he decided to give an attempt at a more unusual approach.

He felt that all of his emails said the same thing--"This week wasn't so good but next will be better"--week after week. The week of February 4 through the 11th was another failure week but he was much too busy really to notice.

The evening of the fourth, after the Monday letters had been sent, he and his companion were driving to dinner when Elder C. hit a pothole. They can be difficult to avoid in the state named after the first president, but this one was particularly disastrous.[1] First came the kalunk-kalunk that  was the hitting the pothole--then the more ominous swiswiswisswis followed by the completely bothersome gunkgunkgunkgunk as they drove down the road before pulling off to examine their flat tire. Elder C. could not figure out how to utilize the jack--something was weird about it--and  Elder Melville was even more ignorant about pretty much everything so he did not even try to figure it out. The members with whom they were having dinner picked them up and then assisted with the tire change after their meal. On Wednesday Elder Melville and Elder R. went and got the wheel fixed and they are still waiting for Discount Tire Co. to call saying they have the tire in (the missionaries as of this date are driving on a loaner tire from the store which works fine).

But the  reason Elder Melville went with Elder R. is another interesting account.

Back to Monday...

Some  elders from the other district in the zone came and played dodgeball for P-day. One companionship[2] spent the day with Elder C., and on their way back up to their area took Elder Melville's backpack, in addition to their own, since it was identical. Elder Melville's scriptures and <i>Preach My Gospel</i> were in the bag so he had to borrow other copies for a few days. The elders had come down with a member who works in their area, so on Tuesday Elder C. and Elder Melville went to take the backpack from the car the member drives. Only that day the member had driven a different car and they didn't know it. So the next day Elder Melville went with Elder R. to the right car. The backpack was in it but the car was locked. The Colville missionaries told Elder Melville that it would be in the same car the next day but that the member would leave one door unlocked. Rather than use up miles to acquire said backpack, Elder Melville called the sister missionaries to pick it up on their way home since it was in their area. They picked it up and asked for a ransom of a crown that said "Queen M."[3] to be exchanged Saturday evening  but Elder Melville surprised them on Friday morning with a much more utilitarian ransom of a baptismal record they needed.

Back to Monday again...

Elder C. became sore after playing dodgeball and went to  bed sore.

Progressing to Tuesday...

Elder C. woke up with a headache and sore muscles and therefore slept in, which made it difficult for Elder Melville to have the willpower to get up, but he did anyway. Elder C. did eventually arouse his faculties[4] and was able to conduct district meeting that morning. The two missionaries stopped for a meeting with a silly old lady but she was sick and kicked them out after they gave her a blessing.[5] They  went home where Elder C. lay in bed, with a temperature over 100. That evening they went to the place of the zone leaders, Elder G. and Elder R., since Elder G. didn't feel well either. Elder R. and Elder Melville worked that evening and then stayed the night  in Mead which was Elder Melville's area. While  Elder Melville and Elder R.  fixed the tire, the sickos went to the doctor and later learned that Elder G. had mono and Elder C. had pneumonia--which led to a multi-day exchange that will last until Friday, February 15.[6]

Elder Melville spent too long on the computer and began to run out of time as he shared his account of the week. It was quite an experience and he wished he could have given it more justice. He hopes to be able to through snail mail but he doubts he will because of the various events  happening.

---

[1] Don’t complain about potholes not being fixed in Utah until you have been to Washington.

[2] Elder E. and Elder D. Elder D. was notorious for being “apostate”—in the mission sense when he was on his mission, and the literal sense once his mission was finished.

[3] See this letter.

[4] See Alma 32:27.

[5] Sister Stubbs. I think she had recently been reactivated and we were teaching her. She wasn’t rude in “kicking us out.”

[6] It ended sooner than that.

Happy February (2/4/08)

Family!!

I looked at Dave's blog because he gave the link but I'm not sure if I was allowed too [sic]. It was too big of a temptation. Before I did it I asked the elder next to me and he said it was OK but I don't know if that's true or not (he's not in our district and I don't think he's even in our zone; they're just visiting down here in Spokane from Colville for the day). So if you don't send me the links I won't  be tempted.

But whether I was allowed to or not, I highly enjoyed it. Preston looks so cute as a big brother. I loved all of the pictures but the ones where he was holding Franklin were my favorite.

This was not a very good week for us. We taught ONE lesson to an investigator and a few less-actives. I think we had more member visits this week than anything else combined. Our most promising investigator cancelled because their pipes were clogged. We called and talked to her that day but she hasn't returned our calls since then and they didn't come to church. Hopefully we can contact them sometime.

It wasn't very good this week as far as people talking to other people and giving us referrals goes because the schools were cancelled all week. Silly Washington, don't they know that they wouldn't have to shut everything down if they'd just PLOW THE SILLY ROADS!?! Instead of like Utah where when the snow starts the trucks are out, they have large vehicles--the kind used in construction, like Caterpillars--out randomly plowing a few days after the snow has stopped.[1]

I prepared a package and hopefully I can send it off today or this week. I'm sending a little bit of stuff I've acquired and don't want to have to carry around, as well as my splint.[2] Hopefully I won't need it anymore. I'm also sending my memory cards with an explanation of the pics. Some of them I specially want copies of for other missionaries. As far as everything else goes I don't know if I want copies or not.

I had to take over our area twice this week for exchanges. One was with Elder W. who was in the area before I was. He knew the  area and some of the people but he's not the  hardest worker and Elder C. had a really hard time with him. The next day one of the zone leaders came and it was OK. On our way home on Saturday night I got caught driving in the snow on the side of the road and Elder C. had to assist me to get out. Sad when a California person has to give driving lessons--but in my defense Utah roads are so much better than Washington roads it really is a new experience. There is a crack in the rim of our tire now, and I feel sick if it was because of my little adventure into the hard snow, especially since it's a brand new car.

Well, I feel like I'm a broken record from previous weeks, but hopefully this upcoming week I'll have more to write about and we will be more successful. Hopefully. Because I'm getting sick of this lack of busyness. Being busy wasn't fun for me  before my mission but as a missionary being busy is so much better than not being busy.

Hasta (probablemente) la próxima semana,

Elder Melville

---

[1] I had always believed what people told me about Utah being a terrible state, but this was one thing that made me realize that’s not necessarily true. I had two record-breaking winters on my mission, and both of them shocked me with how poorly they deal with snow in Washington and northern Idaho.

[2] I went on my mission with a sprained ankle.

Wow... (1/28/08)

This is a letter I wrote the week I learned of the birth of my nephew Franklin.

Dear Family,

This will be interesting because I already wrote you a letter but you will be reading this before you read the letter. It usually does work better the  other way around because I know what you'll read first but we had some extra time this morning so I decided to go ahead and write with the pen before on the keyboard.

So I have another nephew! Wow...I wish I could see little Arnold...I mean Wilbur...I mean Franklin![1] January 24--I'll have to store that date in my memory. It will be a little harder than with Allie and Preston because  I remember the days they were born and instantly ingrained the date into my head. Let's see...what  was I doing on the 24th? I think that was the day I had to go stay with Elder S. while Elder C. took Elder J. out working in their area. Elder Spahr had to have foot surgery from an injury before his mission and then he hurt it again so he had to get something else done to it and he was/is sore. This Thursday he has another doctor's appointment and will learn if he will have to be sent home for further surgery. Also on the 24th we taught an investigator who is going through the Book of Mormon and has questions about his reading. Our ward mission leader came out with us and  answered his  questions--very detailed, very slowly, very lengthy, and Elder C. was falling asleep. But I think the investigator understood the explanations, even if they were a little more detailed than he needed.[2]

Elder L. Tom Perry was going to come out this week to speak to ward mission leaders, although that might change with everything going on with President Hinckley.[3] It is transfer week, which usually happens on Tuesday but because of an apostle in the area it was switched to Wednesday. But regardless of the day of the week, my first transfer is pretty much over. It was exactly two months ago today I entered the MTC. I still feel very green but I'm sure I'm better than when I started. Our district stayed the same, which is good because I really like everyone else, even though one companionship is kind of distant from the rest of us. It might change with Elder S. and his ankle but that's not really part of the transfer process.

Oh, today as we were coming into the library we saw nuns driving in a car. I don't know if I've ever seen nuns in real life before. We brought the sisters with us and Sister (or Queen) M.[4] said she's always wanted to get a picture taken with fellow sisters. Hopefully, then, one day they'll meet some nuns and she can get her wish. Just a random tidbit that doesn't have to do with anything...

The fact that I'm using so many ellipses kind of indicates the less serious nature of my letter. It's been a slow couple of weeks, but hopefully things will look up with fewer illnesses and warmer weather. Not only did I have to eldersit Elder S. this week, I had to stay at the apartment of Elder Cl. and Elder W. because Elder Cl. was sick. That wasn't as fun because Elder Cl. slept the whole time. On my last exchange with him I gave him my belt that fits me (since he forgot his) and wore the one that is a little too big for me and WAY too big for him. Then I forgot to get it back from him--even though we were at their  apartment for a while! I did add an extra hole to my  big belt, but still...

Before you die from choking on ellipses and before my library time expires, I will close this letter with my love, best wishes for the new baby, and looking forward to writing--and being written by--you again.

Elder Richard Mark Melville

---

[1] My niece, Allie, apparently began calling baby Franklin by the name of Wilbur. She also had a pet pig named Wilbur, but I would call it Arnold after the pig on Green Acres.

[2] This is my journal entry for January 24, 2008: “This morning we had to go over to Elder J.’s and Elder S.’s house because Elder S. had ankle surgery and couldn’t leave, so I stayed with him while Elder C. taught with Elder J. We had dinner with the Gibby’s and they brought their less-active daughter and her non-member boyfriend. That was kind of an awkward situation. We taught Shane and Brother Palmer talked and talked. We barely even said anything. So that was interesting. Oh, well. Then Elder C. told me I can’t do anything related to vampirism or lycanthropy anymore.”

[3] Gordon B. Hinckley died the day before I wrote this letter.

[4] See this letter.

Hey! I'm back online! (1/7/08)

I have been pulling these letters from my mom's email account before I post them here. This letter was buried because of my mom forwarding it at a later date, so this letter actually came before the previous post.

What kind of letter was that..."love  Rick"?! I understand "Pops," "Vatti" or simply "Dad," but what's with this "Rick" thing?![1]

                                                         

And I suppose I don't have a problem with you forwarding my emails.

Anyway...

Now that the holidays are over hopefully I will be able to email on a more consistent basis. At  first I thought we couldn't email because we were doing too much on those P-days but now I realize that on New Year's Day the library wouldn't have been open and Christmas Eve it probably would have closed earlier.

We had an interesting week. On Friday we came home for  lunch and were up cooking and talking with Sister  W., the member with whom we live.[2] We three were the only ones home at the time (maybe H., the ex-con son, was down in his room--I'm not sure). The phone rang so Sister W. went into the other room to answer it. Elder C. went downstairs, leaving  me up in the kitchen.  Soon Sister W. comes out of the room calling, "Missionaries!" She found me and told me she  had a feeling something terrible had happened and she wanted me with her (one of her sons was on the phone and he'd told her he didn't want her to be alone). She grabbed my hand and brought me onto the couch. She squeezed my hand  as she cried, hearing the news, and when Brother W. came home (while she was on the phone) she met him and they went into their  room. It is because of this phone call that on Saturday they left us with an empty house. The three Ws are down in Salt Lake now because their youngest son was electrocuted in a construction accident. The incredibly sad irony is that he was working at the Capitol on  Utah's birthday.[3] So if you see or have seen an obituary for a J. W., that is who it is. That evening some people from the ward came to give them blessings. We came home from appointments too late so we barely missed giving Sister W. a blessing but we were able to help with Brother W. and H.[4]

Yesterday was also a bit of a downer. One of our members is responsible for two of the people we're working with. Sister Cunningham started having her friend Debbie take the lessons before  I came. I believe I told you about her in my last letter, how she and her boyfriend's kids are on date for baptism, but she must get married before she can be baptized. A few weeks ago we discussed marriage with her but Elder C. did not tell her that she had to get married to be baptized(separation is not our first preference because she is so close to Walt's kids). We called Sister Cunningham the other day to make sure she knew. She said she thought she understood but she'd call to make sure. Well, yesterday we found out that the news of that came as quite a blow. She didn't come to church because she was so upset. We stopped by her apartment briefly yesterday, and she said we were still on for our meeting on Thursday, but she was crying and clearly not overly happy with the news. I can't decide if it's good or bad she's so distraught--it makes it a delicate and awkward situation, but it shows her desire to be baptized.

Sister Cunningham also referred us to her less-active brother, complete with earring and sleeveless shirts. He has complete faith in God and knows the truth but he was struggling with some deeper doctrine. Through meeting with him we were able to answer his questions, or at least lead him to answer his own. He is trying to quit smoking and wanted to come to church at the new year. Some of his biggest problems  reside with the fact that his wife is a philanderer and had her first of two (known) affairs three days after baptism. He is ready to be a father (they have two or three kids) but she can't abandon the party life. We gave him the bishop's number and he agreed to meet with him for marriage counseling.[5] Yesterday was the day for him to meet with the bishop. We called Sister Cunningham to ask how it went. All I know is that he was not happy with it. I think we're still on to meet with him this week, but I hope everything's not lost with him.

You know that street I told you about on Christmas where three people told us to come back? Well, we haven't had much luck. I'll write you perhaps in more detail in my letter today but I have to end my letter for now.[6]

Love,

Elder Melville.

---

[1] My dad had sent me an email that he signed with his real name, which I found ridiculous. We usually called him “Pops” because my niece did. “Vatti” started when my brother took junior high German.

[2] “With whom we live”...ugh. I erroneously believed you couldn’t end a sentence with a preposition.

[3] See here and here.

[4] The ward members used oil in the blessings, but I didn’t think it was the time to point out that wasn’t necessary.

[5] I’m 90 percent certain the bishop was a professional counselor, but I can’t find his practice online.

[6] We tracted a street where only three people answered, but they all said we could come back. But I don’t think any of them were serious. (Actually, one might have been, but we didn’t get far with him.)

It looks like not emailing is a holiday thing (1/14/08)

This is the third installment of me reprinting my mission emails. There was a hiatus for a few weeks because I couldn’t email at Christmas and New Year’s, but I did still write home in the meantime.

Hello family!

I don't feel like writing anything coherent today so I'll just throw some stuff around. I'll start off with the missionary work and let the letter digress from there. Our investigators who were on date are no longer meeting with us. The nefarious boyfriend told them they couldn't visit with us anymore because he says it's none of our business if they're married or not. Sometimes I wonder if the Great Apostasy's really ended.[1]

On the other hand, we picked up four new investigators. We were meeting with a lady who knows the Church is true but years later hasn't been baptized because she won't give up smoking. Her son's 15-year-old girlfriend was there so we gave her a BoM and taught her about it and we're teaching her tomorrow. Then the lady's son's friend's mom and her mom and daughter came over and we taught them later. The girlfriend has been reading the BoM. The friend's mom, Michelle, wanted to meet with us kind of to bash but she said she feels less inclined to after meeting with us. We hope she continues to improve her opinion of us.

Now for the stuff I don't know how to organize...

I thought it was funny the other day when I was on exchanges. I saw a shop that was called Old Testament Bicycles, complete with a Christian fish on the front sign. Shortly thereafter was a billboard for Living Water Lawncare, including a quote from Proverbs. I'm not in Utah anymore, where we don't usually associate the Savior with green lawns...[2]

Yesterday was a musical day. We sang with the sister missionaries, Sister S. and Sister M., in their ward. We sang "Sweet Hour of Prayer" a cappella, SATB. All the ward members liked it, and it was good for the sisters because they have been having trouble with the members in that ward. Then Elder C. and I sang in the ward choir for ward conference. I was the only one singing bass, because I don't really know what the only other bass was singing. I don't think we sounded very good...

Speaking of sisters, I really like our female counterparts. I feel more comfortable with them than with other elders. On New Year's Day we spent a few hours at their house, eating crêpes, playing games and practicing our song. They went on exchanges the other day with another district, and Sister M.'s temporary companion, [another] Sister S., it seems is one of those people everyone knows for being weird. It was quite funny (to me at least). We had to open the stake center doors for them,[3] and while they waited for us Sister S. (from South Carolina) decided to jump backwards into the snow. She had Sister M. take a video on her camera (I guess cameras with video are permissible because everyone has them),[4] and then decided to show me. However, she had not previously viewed it and she was insanely embarrassed when her skirt flew up almost halfway up her thighs. Nothing was visible but I thought she was going to take up sackcloth and ashes, not for mourning or repentance but for embarrassment. Later we learned that other elders gave them blessings—[this second] Sister S. because she hurt her back jumping in the snow, and Sister M. because she was annoyed with Sister S.![5]

I had an amusing dream in which Sister M., Elder C. and I, and unknown elders were at a meeting (I couldn't figure out where [the first] Sister S. had gone) and Elder C. suggested that instead of calling them Sister we should call them Mother. Another elder said that instead of Mother  we should call them Queen. Sister M. said, "Queen--I like that." Everyone was pretty much joking in the dream, but it still makes a funny story, and Elder C. and I have occasionally thrown out a "Queen M." at her (you just don't keep a funny dream like that to yourself!).

Well, my email time is almost up, so I will close this cluttered letter. I know I was going to write more but I don't remember what. Whatever it was will be my subject material for my paper letter.

Love,

Elder Melville

---

[1] With a decade of hindsight, I can see the boyfriend’s point, even if I disagree. We were teaching the lady and her boyfriend’s two kids, if I remember right.

[2] I was mistaken if I thought this was unique to Christianity, since we have many nonreligious businesses with Mormon names in Utah. There was a restaurant called the Steak Center, and Provo has a place called Called to Surf.

[3] I think the first Sister S. had taken the church keys with her when she left the area for the exchange.

[4] I had worried if I would be able to have my digital camera, since it could take video, which was forbidden in the instructions that came with my mission call. I recently looked at that again, and I have realized that it is impossible to follow every rule given to missionaries, because some of them contradict.

[5] This Sister S. requested blessings all the time, and the mission president eventually had to say, “You don’t use cancer treatment to cure a cold.”

Hello again (December 12, 2007)

This is the second installment of republishing my mission emails. I have abbreviated names for privacy’s sake.

Yes, you are allowed to email me, although we are only allowed to spend thirty minutes logged in (it counts it down), which includes reading and typing.[1]

Um...where to start on this letter? Thank you for the package. I honestly don't know what to do with all that candy. My appetite for sweet things has gone down severely since coming in. I have lost eight pounds between coming in and the last time I weighed myself, which was Monday. My pants are way too big and I'm on my last hole on my new belt, and it's a little loose. Fortunately, my old belt still has plenty of room for me to lose.[2]

As for the extension cord, thanks for that, but we actually resolved the problem.[3] Another elder in our room directed us to another outlet by the mirror, which accomodates (that word doesn't look right--man, I wish they sold dictionaries here)[4] the plug. Upon receiving the cord, I asked my companion if he would like to move it where we thought it would go in the first place. He said we could just leave it where it was, although I think the first place would be more convenient except that's where we put all of our boxes. My companion is the king of packages.

So, we are enjoying our music, although my companion usually turns it on and listens to his music. I haven't even listened to the one from J. yet.[5] By the way, everyone who comes in is very impressed by my speakers.

I wrote to you (I think) that my companion knows countless people here. I have met three people (I neglected to tell you these things last week) I have known. D. B. from our stake and formerly ward, and whom I have known since kindergarten, is one of our zone leaders. E. S., who was in our ward years ago, came in the same day we did and is off to Orlando. I greeted him when I first saw him but I don't really think he remembered me. I've also met someone I met last year at Y Weekend who is going to Budapest. He remembered our discussion about split infinitives.[6]

I have made several purchases at the MTC branch of the BYU bookstore--my first day I got a backpack, flip-flops for the shower, a mini hymnbook, a notebook, and the hymns on CD. The only thing they don't sell are dictionaries. The other night we had a health orientation thingy and the speaker introduced us to amazing health products only sold one place in the entire world--the MTC. One is a special kind of hand sanitizer that kills germs for four hours, while most brands only do two minutes.[7] The other is a super filter water bottle. He said that he tested unfiltered tap water and lake water that went through the bottle filter, and the lake water was less contaminated. I bought both of those items (with a replacement filter).[8]

My time on the computer is drawing to a close. Like last week, I'll also write you a real letter while I'm laundering. That may be complicated today since my comp and I both have haircuts scheduled during our laundry time. But we'll figure it out.

I'm sorry this isn't a very coherent letter. I'll try to redeem myself in my paper letter.

Love,

Elder Richard Mark Melville

P.S. This is my last prep day in the MTC!

---

[1] This was in response to my mom’s email asking if she was allowed to email me. I wonder if the MTC still has the thirty-minute limit?

[2] I remember calculating that if I kept losing weight at the same rate I did in the MTC, by the time I came home I would literally be lighter than air. I think I lost so much weight in the MTC because my first week there, I didn’t feel like eating, and then it was fast Sunday; and then once I noticed I had lost weight, I realized I could not eat as much and lose more. Apparently I lived a ridiculously sedentary life before if I could lose ten pounds in three weeks in the MTC.

[3] Referring to the fact that I couldn’t plug in my speakers that my mom’s friend got me when I left.

[4] I did later find a dictionary for sale at the MTC. I still have it.

[5] My mom’s friend also got me a cheap MoTab CD, The Spirit of Christmas. I think she got me these gifts because my mom guilt-tripped her for not coming to my farewell.

[6] For that 2006 Y Weekend, see here.

[7] I did like that hand sanitizer; it was more like a lotion, which I appreciated when my hands were splitting apart in the winter.

[8] ...I was less enthusiastic about the bottles after I used them. You had to suck really hard to get the water up. And I was in America, so I didn’t need filtered water anyway.

Howdy (December 5, 2007)

Note: In honor of ten years of leaving on a mission, I have decided to resurrect this blog by publishing my mission emails. I'm also annotating them with ten years of hindsight. I have abbreviated names--it's one thing to write them in an email, but another to post them on the internet. I'm not sure how this convention will go, but I have to start somewhere. This is my first email, with the subject line "Howdy."

Ma chère famille,

Ici je suis en le MTC, et je suis bien.[1] Today (Wednesday) is our prep day, the only time I am allowed to email/write letters. We are only permitted to write on our prep day.[2] The exception was our first day but we didn't have time. It's just as well because my first day felt like a funeral, but since then everything has been just fine.

We usually stay as a district during classes, meals, studying and such, which I like. My companion, Elder Hi. (also going to Spokane), and I are pretty different (he reminds me a lot of [my cousin] Rayce)[3] but we get along fine. He is from Pleasant Grove and knows tons of people here--even his sister-in-law works here. We share our residence with Elders Ha. and M. (from Vernal and Salt Lake, respectively), who are also going to Spokane. Our district leader, Elder W., and his companion, Elder G., are next door. They are going to Portland. Elder W. is all-around amazing as a district leader.

We obviously do not live near the other members of our district, Sister V. and Sister C. Sister V. is coming to Spokane with us, while Sister C. is going to Portland. We supposedly leave two days earlier which means Sister C. will be solo for a few days.

As for me, I am doing fine. It's amazing how the Lord has already blessed me--little to no homesickness or unkind thoughts. I am excited to be a missionary.

I do realize now that I watched WAY too much TV.[4] Things constantly remind me of the various things I used to watch. The first few days I always thought of <i>The Flying Nun</i>[5] because this is like a convent and the show always showed two sisters walking on the convent grounds like we do. But pretty much anything I've ever watched in my life has entered my thoughts at some point.

Oh, a slightly unfortunate event. While the other elders in my residence brought music, I was the only one to bring a CD player. Each missionary only has one small, inconvenient outlet, and the speakers do not fit in the plug, so we are music-less. But we're out of here in not too long.

Well, I need to get ready to do my laundry. I'll write you a letter while my clothes are being washed.

Love,

Elder Melville

---

[1] I loved writing in foreign languages, and I never really got over the fact that I was called to speak English.

[2] They told us we couldn’t say “P-day” in the MTC. They really didn’t like initialisms in the MTC.

[3] In retrospect, I think my cousin is less of a jerk than my companion, but ten years later, maybe I only remember the bad things.

[4] This is true. I was obsessed with 1960s sitcoms.

[5] (1) Our missionary email did not permit us to put things in italics, so I tried to use HTML tags. Obviously they didn’t work. (2) Yes, there really was a TV show about a flying nun.