It's almost Father's Day, so I'm going to remember what I can about the day before this paternal holiday.
2012. In the morning I went to Winegar's grocery store and bought a box of Whoppers, one of my dad's favorite candies, and some tortilla chips for my mission reunion. I went home and wrote a note and wrapped up the Whoppers. My sister and I had bought my dad something online, but it hadn't come yet, and I was going back to Provo that day, since I had a mission reunion in Draper. I went to the Draper Temple, where we did a session. Afterward, we went to President Clark's house. I can't remember too much about what distinguished this reunion from others, but I do remember some things. I took a picture of my transfer board picture:
I was in the Clarks' backyard. They had bear decorations, and I noticed some mushrooms growing in their garden, so I facetiously asked if the mushrooms were decorations too. I remember talking to Elder Ellsworth about his companion Elder Draney, who became a transvestite. I talked to one Elder Harris, who had served in Lewiston before I was there. I asked him about his experiences in Lewiston; he didn't remember much, but he did remember an old man named Joe; he actually meant George. Someone had bought a box of Krispy Kremes; I was able to eat parts of the one with red, white, and blue sprinkles. Then it was time for me to return to Provo. President Clark noted how everyone had gathered there because of me, since I had made the Facebook event page. When I got back in Provo, I stopped at Smith's to go grocery shopping, since my mom had given me a Smith's gift card. As I was going in, Michael Barlow and Tek Fish (and maybe Jimmy Murphy) saw me and said hi. They asked why I was dressed up, and they wondered why I had a mission reunion in June. Then I went back to my apartment. I brought in my stuff, and my roommate Cameron had some friends over. I went downstairs and got the mail. I was so excited to find a giant envelope addressed from J. Terri. I excitedly came in and showed Cameron. He got excited too, so I opened it up and pulled out three burned CDs and an autographed picture of Jan Terri. Cameron looked at the stuff and said, "This is her handwriting!" Then he had to explain to his friends what this was all about. He showed her the "Losing You" and "Get Down Goblin" music videos.
Cameron's friend said, "I'm really excited for you." But she said it rather unenthusiastically.
2011. My cousin Jesse was having his birthday celebration at Hogle Zoo, so I had invited a friend from a previous ward, Lori, to go. My mom suggested going with so that she could get us in for free. I met up with Lori and she liked my Eddie Munster t-shirt. I introduced her to my mom and Allie. Lori asked Allie how old she was, and then told her that she would soon be baptized. My mom insisted on going on the train. So we did. Then my mom left and Lori and I sat in some shade and we talked about various things. Eventually Jesse and Lisa came, and so did one of their friends. I borrowed some sunscreen from their friend. Then we proceeded to look at the animals. But Lori didn't care to stay with Jesse and co., and we went ahead. She had never been to Hogle Zoo before. We went to the exhibit that was a remnant of Nature's Nightmares, and she couldn't stand to look at the mouse, and she told me she was glad I hadn't taken her to see the bats. When we were at the ostriches and giraffes, she talked about people from our ward. Then she told me she needed to leave because she needed to go babysitting. I walked her to the entrance. At one place Taylor Swift's "You Belong with Me" was playing, and Lori said she wondered if she would ever sing about anything different. As she left, I said, "We should do this again," and she said, "Yeah," but it sounded insincere, and I haven't talked to her since then. Then I went and found Jesse and Lisa. Lisa asked me where my friend was. We almost got some Slurpees or something at the zoo, but they were expensive, so we left. I rode with Jesse and Lisa so they could take me to my mom at their mom's house. As we were approaching their car, I saw a bumper sticker that was horribly faded that said "These colors don't run." I found it ironic. Lisa wanted to get Slurpees, but then she wanted shaved ice, and then we didn't get anything. Both my grandma and my mom were at Sue's house, and we visited. We talked about when Peter hacked Jesse's Facebook, saying he was gay. Grandma said she was sick because she thought it was real. Lisa was mad that people had believed it. We had a conversation about our cousin Tammy's blog post about their kid Jacob, who claimed he had once been an adult. In another conversation, my mom said to the Thompsons, "There was a time when we even liked your dad," and they didn't believe that.
2010. My mom was on vacation, so it was just me and my dad at home. I gave my dad the present I got him, the new Alice in Wonderland movie. We went out to dinner at Chuck-A-Rama. It was a very quiet dinner. I remember getting their Slurpee-like drink. Then we went home. I think we might have watched the end of Munster, Go Home! which we had started watching the night before. We also watched Alice in Wonderland. I was on the elliptical machine for the movies. After Alice in Wonderland we watched the special features. Then he went to bed, and I went on Facebook and "liked" the Munster, Go Home! page.
2009. I think this was the day that we went to the Lewiston stake center to meet our mission president, President Clark, who was leaving. He shined our shoes for us. When he shined mine (which were quite ugly, by the way), he said, "These shoes have tracted many a street," since I was the oldest there (I think for some reason the Clarkston elders weren't there). Sister Clark was giving us M&Ms because we were "Missionaries with a Message." There were some that were mini M&Ms, and he said they should give them to Elder Hightower (who was quite short) and I said "and Sister Bruner."
2008. This is my journal entry for the day: "This morning we fixed my bike and made a lot of good contacts with less-actives. In one complex there must be one righteous person, otherwise fire and brimstone would have rained on it. We saw three potentials and one less-active, all of whom were the spawn of Satan. We did tract a mostly nice street, but the people weren't interested. We had dinner with the Sanchezes as well."
The less-active man in the apartment complex was quite rudeto us, even though he said he believed. I can only really remember one other person there. Elder Bramall told me that he had previously talked to a man there, who seemed deeply touched by our message, but when he went back, the man's girlfriend or wife was really rude. So we went back this day and she answered the door again. She was quite rude. Elder Bramall said something about how he hoped she wasn't angry, and she said, "I am angry." I don't mind so much if people aren't interested; they just shouldn't be rude about it. At the Sanchezes' that night, we had fried chicken and fried fish, but there wasn't much chicken, and I felt guilty eating chicken if there wasn't much of it. So I ate the fish, and I didn't really care for it.
2007. I know we were at the Music to the Maxx store in Bountiful so I could get something for my dad. I know I bought him a double feature of The Addams Family/Addams Family Values, but I can't remember if I got it there or at Smith's Marketplace, where we went next. I know that at Smith's Marketplace I got the second season of The Flying Nun.
I'm going to remember as much as I can about March 16.
2012. My roommate Cameron Eaton and I had to get up early to go help one of our home teachees, Katie Steck, set something up in the Wilk. I was wearing my Snoopy "It's cool to be Irish" shirt. When we were waiting at the stoplight at Campus Drive and 900 North, a woman stopped and asked us where the pool was. Cameron redirected her, for she was way off. There was a high school swimming thing going on; I think Cameron knew that because he often went swimming. We helped Katie, but we just had to carry some things from her car. She didn't need much help from us. So with that extra time in the morning, I went into the library to do some last-minute studying for my Semantics and Pragmatics test. I opened up the Google doc study guide I had made, and some people had made some very funny comments. I would put them here, but I don't think anyone would get them ("You had to be there" kind of thing). I sent out a message that said, "Red writer [because the person had written in a red font], you have made my morning." Then I went to our classroom in the RB. We saw all the people there for the high school swim meet. There were lots of booths set up near the windows that overlooked the pool, which I had to pass on my way to class. I was almost finished when our time in the classroom was up. Those of us who hadn't finished had to finish in the hall. I was standing up, because I was just doing a final review of my answers, and I think Dr. Oaks told me I could sit down, but I was almost done. I might have seen my former companion "Elder" Duncan." It was a nice spring Friday, and I was feeling quite pleased that my test was over, and I felt like I did pretty well on it. I went to Sugar 'N Spice in the Wilk. I got a chocolate-chocolate donut with green sprinkles and a sugar cookie coated with green icing with a little shamrock design on it. The girl who rang me up told me she loved the cookies. I ate the donut while I walked home; I walked a way I hadn't walked before. Then when I got home I ate the cookie, and the frosting had melted and stuck to the bag. It was pistachio flavored, and I hope they have them again this year. I read my scriptures and took a nap before I went back up to my Editing class. This might have been the day that they passed around candy because of the game we had played the week before. They gave out candy in Easter wrappers, but I picked out some that had gold and green wrappers so that I could eat them. Then I went home. I told my mom I wanted to get some green shoes or green pants. So we went out looking. I couldn't find any green shoes at Famous Footwear. We went to five stores, but I can't remember what all of them were. As we were driving to Smith's Marketplace, my mom told me about the restaurant Granny Annie's that was where Marie Callendar's had been. She said she had wanted to try it because she loved the name, but it was terrible. I looked at the shoes at Smith's Marketplace. They had green Converse shoes, but they only had women's sizes. Then I looked at men's clothes. I found some clearance green pants. There were some that were the right waist, but they were too short. I ended up getting some that were big at the waist but the right length. We had to get someone to open the dressing room, and she asked if I was getting the pants for the next day. My mom told me that she liked the pants when I had them on; she thought they were ugly before she saw them on me. We bought Hugo on DVD. When we were checking out, the cashier asked if we had seen the movie, and she also asked if I was getting the pants for St. Patrick's Day. Then we went home, and I ate some key lime pie frozen yogurt, even though it was after 9. Then I got on my computer. I remembered hearing that Jan Terri had some holiday songs, so I checked them out. First I watched "Get Down Goblin"; I was pleased with the reference to The Munsters and The Addams Family. Then I watched "Rock N Roll Santa."
I was sad that it skipped (I later discovered a better version). I thought it was really funny. My mom wasn't really paying attention and thought she was saying "Whack-a-Mole Santa." My mom thought it was funny how much I thought it was funny. Little did I know that those songs would end up changing my life.
2011. I went to institute that night. There was an older couple that always provided food. That night it was "St. Patrick's Day split pea soup." The wife was wearing green. I thought about showing them my shirt (which was under my hoodie), but I didn't.
2009. We played dodgeball at one of the Coeur d'Alene buildings. In my first area we had often played dodgeball, and I liked it, but we played "every man for himself." On this occasion we were playing on teams, which I didn't like. Elder Betenson later told me that he was surprised at how bad I was, considering how much I had often talked about dodgeball. This is my journal entry for the day: "This morning we went and played dodgeball. It was fun but I had forgotten how appallingly bad I am. I'm kind of embarrassed now. It's one of those nights I know Elder Betenson hates me, and I was simply trying to explain my past reasoning for being desirous of vampiric qualities.
"But this evening after dinner we went and saw Wayne Timonen, who is excited for us to teach him the lessons." Wayne Timonen was a man who had been inactive but had recently started coming back to church. I think we saw him that night to ask him about his commitment to give someone a Book of Mormon.
2008. It was Elder Condie's first Sunday in our wards. In the morning we went to the Northpointe Ward PEC, and Bishop Larson reproved us that we didn't have many names on our progress record. I remember at some point that day, Brother Palmer, the Northpointe ward mission leader, told us he was glad Elder Chun got a baptism before he left (since Brenna Carlsen had been baptized the previous week). Brother Mears from the Greenbluff Ward asked me if we had seen the Johnsons, an elderly nonmember couple--they were his special project. I told them that I had talked to Sister Summer (their daughter) and she said that we should wait to see them because her dad was having surgery. Brother Mears said something about how I should ask Vickie Summers about giving her parents blessings. I think that Elder Condie went to Greenbluff ward council while I went to the Northpointe Ward's ward council. Our investigator Duane came to church in the Northpointe Ward that day. I remember him telling someone he was investigating. When we were leaving church, Sister Pugh asked if Elder Condie was a new missionary. To think that I would ever train a new missionary is laughable! Here is my journal entry for the day: "The wards don't trust me. It is quite frustrating. President Miller [the elders quorum president in the Greenbluff Ward] I guess said some stuff to Elder Condie implying I don't know anything. And Greenbluff wants us to continue working with the Johnsons even though I called Sister Summer about them and she said not to stop by for a few weeks due to recovery from surgery. It didn't help that our progress records were bare.
"But Duane came to church. Brother Welsh sat with him for Sunday School and priesthood opening exercises. He participated, and we set another date for them. I'm so excited!" (Duane and Vickie were golden investigators, but for some reason they never got baptized.)
2006. I walked into school wearing my Snoopy "Cool to be Irish" shirt and carrying a dish with a cake in it for my French class. I heard one guy say, "Is today St. Patrick's Day?" It was the day that our cultural projects were due, so we brought different desserts for the requirement. In France they eat bûches de Noël at Christmas, which are yule log cakes. But I made a bûche du jour de Saint Patrick-- I put green sprinkles on it and a little pot of gold. A girl in my class had had the same idea. But while mine was a chocolate cake with decorations on it, she made hers a different kind of cake with a mint filling. After class I went and put the dish in my car. I went to my Pre-Calc class, and Josh Roberts said he wondered if it was St. Patrick's Day because of my shirt.
2004. I was wearing a white polo shirt with a shamrock tie. Someone in my science class asked if it was St. Patrick's Day. I said no, and they wondered why I was dressed that way. I think this was the night I had to go to Trevor Young's house to work on a project in which we were presenting news stories from Samoa or one of those islands. My mom dropped me off, and she later said that a kid in the yard (Trevor's younger brother) had been on my soccer team when I was 9. We met in Trevor's basement. Greg Gabbott came, and Trevor's mom knew him, but she didn't know me. One of Trevor's little brothers came in and wanted to know who I was. Trevor seemed annoyed with this brother, and told him I was just one of his friends. His younger brother said, "He talks funny." We all found that hilarious. I told them about the article I found about someone robbing a house "armed with fishing spears." Trevor wanted to film us reporting our news articles in front of an outdoorsy wallpaper, but I didn't like the idea. Then my dad picked me up, because my mom was at mutual. I went to the Joneses for part of mutual, where we were making pizza. Then that night my mom went and bought things for me to take to seminary the next day. I wanted those Pillsbury cookies that you cut that had shamrocks on them, but she just bought plain ones. We tried to put green sugars on them. She also bought a loaf of bread with green stripes for our dinner the next day.
2003. It was my uncle Paul's fiftieth birthday, so we had a party at my house. There was a balloon that had people dressed in old clothing and said "Welcome to the Middle Ages." My aunt and my mom were quite amused by a balloon they had bought Paul ten years earlier. It doesn't sound like a very clever balloon to me, but to this day they still bring it up as if it's the funniest thing ever. After church I changed into an orange polo shirt. Then I had to go home teaching with Brother Naylor. The Spencers commented on my orange shirt. When Brother Naylor dropped me off, he pointed out that we were having a party.
2002. We went to Winegar's to buy things to make cookies for my cousin Hiram's farewell. I noticed the green mint chips, so my mom bought them. We made two kinds of cookies that night. We made regular chocolate chip cookies with green dye in the batter, and cookies with mint chips instead of chocolate chips. My mom said that people wouldn't want to eat the green dye cookies, but it turned out that they ate more of those than the mint ones.
2001. It was our sixth-grade mini-society day (which was basically a day where we ran stores). Since I had a quite lucrative business selling homemade window clings, I had a lot of money that I used to buy a stovepipe hat from Jaydon Bean. Mr. Williams, my teacher, said that I bought the hat he wanted. A girl named Brittany in my class wore a St. Patrick's Day hat, since they usually had hat contests for St. Patrick's Day, but they didn't that year. I wore a green shirt to bed that night.
1996. My parents took me to the Salt Lake City St. Patrick's Day parade. I was probably wearing my little plastic green derby hat. I noticed that they had painted clovers on the street. There were lots of bagpipers. Near to us there had been some people with picket signs that had St. Patrick's Day messages. When they left, they just left the signs on the ground. My parents told me I could take them, but I didn't want to. (Maybe it was because I thought those people must have been wicked, since they littered, and I figured that anything they had must be wicked too.)
