A history of my seasonal eating habits

People are often intrigued when they learn that I only eat seasonal desserts and candies, and it leads them to ask a few questions.

One of them is "Why?" Well, it started out as a health thing, but today I view it as both a health thing and simply a fun thing. I like living my life this way.

Another question is "How long have you been doing this?" This question is harder to answer, because it has gone through changes throughout the years. This blog will attempt to show some of the ways this habit has evolved and note some key events. Through the years, it has gotten stricter, less complicated, and more enjoyable.

The idea started in 2003, when I read a Reader's Digest article that said that you shouldn't diet at Christmastime, because then you will think, "Oh, it's Christmas, so I can splurge," and it ends up backfiring. (You have to understand that I was always overweight and obese growing up, so this was something I needed to be concerned about.)

Well, somehow I morphed that into my first prototype. I could only eat one each of junk food in a day. So if I went to a party, I could have a donut and a cookie, but I couldn't have two cookies. I also included potato chips, and I think crackers, in this one-only rule. (I don't remember what I did about tortilla chips, because I seem to remember eating a lot of chips and salsa.) I think it also included fruit snacks, granola bars, and other packaged snacks.

However, if a junk-food item was seasonally appropriate (usually meaning it was holiday-themed), then I could eat as much of it as I wanted. So if you presented me with a bowl of generic M&Ms, I could only eat one. But if you presented me with a bowl of red, pink, and white M&Ms in early February, I could eat handfuls. (Defining "one" was sometimes a challenge. I don't want to bore you with all the specifics of that.)

Soon after I started this rule, we had visiting relatives, and my mom made a pan of brownies. Well, I ate my brownie quota for the day, and there was the full pan of brownies, tempting me. It was then that I came up with a system that for everything I ate beyond my allotted quota, I had to do ten situps. This was not something I could do all the time, just something I could do in certain situations. I mostly used it when eating treats was unavoidable, or when I was on vacation.

This dietary pattern continued until spring break 2006. We had gone to Moab, and after doing lots of hiking, I was sure that when I got on the scale when we got home, I would have lost weight. I was shocked and disappointed when I found out that instead I had gained weight. And I realized it was due to all the unhealthy things I had eaten on the trip--lots of granola bars, minty ice cream sandwiches, and other things. So as I stood on that scale, I realized that the one-a-day rule just wasn't cutting it. I would have to cut out junk food entirely--unless it was seasonal, in which case I could eat as much as I wanted.

Now, that vow was immediately tested as our home teacher brought over a non-Eastery chocolate pie that very day. I don't remember how I handled that--whether I did the situp punishment, or whether I postponed starting my new vow, or whether I stayed strong. This was just a few days before Easter, and this presented another challenge, because once Easter is over, there are no holidays for a while.

I think when I started the zero-tolerance policy, I might have removed fruit snacks and granola bars from the junk food category, but I can't remember when that started. I know that I didn't remove chips from the forbidden list. (Today, however, chips and other savory junk foods are not forbidden; only sweet things.)

In 2007, before my mission, I had amassed a large queue of situps, so I decided that I could eat whatever I wanted and add to that queue until I cleared the queue--at which point it would be a no-tolerance policy again.

Well, I took that queue with me on my mission. I finally cleared the queue on Thanksgiving Day 2008--the day before my year mark. At that point I recommitted myself to not eating bad things. However, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if someone plopped a dessert down in front of me (I would just add it to the queue), but if  they asked me if I wanted it, I would say no.

It was at the end of 2008 that I decided that during the New Year season--December 26 through January 1--I could eat whatever I want. We had a huge pile of goodies people had given us, and that was the only way I could get through it. I have maintained the "anything goes" attitude for New Year's ever since then, for multiple reasons.

In more recent years, I have gotten stricter. I have returned fruit snacks and most (not all) granola bars to the forbidden list, and I no longer justify eating treats to prevent them from being thrown away (most of the time).

In the summer of 2011, I experimented with eating ice cream during the summer months. (Only popsicles and similar things are otherwise acceptable during June, July, and August.) I enjoyed eating ice cream, but it just didn't feel summery, so I cannot eat ice cream during the summer. (It has been more than a decade since I have seen patriotic ice cream. Otherwise I eat pumpkin, egg nog, red velvet, and mint ice cream--but not during the summer.)

In 2012, I began to be more open about these habits. Previously, I had mostly told it to family members and roommates, but I now bear the distinction with pride. In summer of 2012, I wrote a blog about these rules. They have evolved a little since then, but it's pretty close to how I have it now.

Also in 2012, I discontinued the practice of evoking the situp or pushup rule for eating whatever I want on vacation. Summer vacation 2012, I ate lots of candy and then did pushups or situps when I got home, but by the time of my Death Valley field trip in November or my Christmas California trip that year, I was living the same rules on vacation as I was at home. (2012 was truly a seminal year for me.)

In 2013, I finally felt these efforts pay off. On Easter, I felt a little sick after eating lots of candy, and in September, after a long dearth of seasonal goodies, I literally could not finish a piece of pumpkin cake in one setting. Years of only eating seasonal things had lowered my tolerance for sugar. I still can eat a lot of sugar, but I can't do so infinitely (like I think I could at one point).

Today, I prefer unique flavors in seasonal items. I will still eat things that simply have a seasonal shape or color, but I prioritize those with unique flavors, and this has become increasingly easy and enjoyable. In the past few years especially, there's been an abundance of products with seasonal flavors throughout the year: Oreos, M&Ms, Pop-Tarts, Dairy Queen Blizzards, Pizza Pie Cafe dessert pizza of the month, various chocolates, even candy corn. It's a wonderful time to be me!

I didn't want to get into the little details here, so if you have any questions, just ask. :)

The Sunday after Thanksgiving

The Sunday after Thanksgiving is the first Sunday of the Christmas season. I'm going to remember what I can about the day.

2014. We were driving out of California, and my parents wanted me to turn on my Christmas playlist from my phone. We loaded up our car early in the morning while everyone was asleep. Throughout the day we munched on grapes, bagels with lunch meat, sugar cookie Pop-Tarts, chocolate candy cane granola bars, and candy cane Tootsie Pops. A lot of the music that played was remnants from my Halloween music (since it had recently been played on my phone), meaning it was Nightmare before Christmas. At one point Jan Terri's "Rock and Roll Santa" came on, but I was disappointed when it stopped streaming. My parents had had enough when Marilyn Manson's cover of "This Is Halloween" came on. Then they switched to a Beauty and the Beast tape. It was snowy as we were driving through Nevada, and I remembered that we had forgotten our Hotel Transylvania DVD and my pumpkin-shaped pie dish. After we got into Utah, they turned on FM 100.3. They played one Christmas song, noting that Christmas music wouldn't be in their Sunday lineup until the next week (even though they play Christmas music way early on weekdays). They played a song about moms praying for their missionary sons, and my mom related to it. We went home and unloaded some of the stuff from my car. Then my mom and I went to my grandparents' place, where my niece had been staying. My grandparents offered us leftover Thanksgiving dinner. My mom didn't eat much, but I had a couple of helpings. There were pieces of bone in the turkey. My grandma was telling my mom how a longtime family friend was in serious condition after a treadmill accident (and he did pass away from the injuries). When Allie came home, she had some of the sugar cookie Pop-Tarts and said, "These are good." I think she even took one into her room so she could have it the next morning. I wrote a blog.

2013. I don't really remember this day, but Facebook tells me I wrote on both of my blogs and was excited about Mideau's free download of "O Holy Night." I think I watched "The Nativity."

2012. The ward clerk, Michael Wyatt, had asked me to take his place at bishopric meeting that morning, so I did, wearing my polar bear tie. My roommate Scott later asked about my tie and said it was winter themed; I thought it was more Christmassy than wintery because of the North Pole. Again, I wrote on both blogs, and I think I watched "The Nativity."

2011. I gave a talk at my sacrament meeting, which you can read here. Paul Castleberry told me I gave an "epic talk."

2010. It was snowy, so I asked my dad to drive me up to my church (I think I had tithing settlement). He did, and then my family came to hear me talk. I had told Allie that she needed to be quiet at church, because my sacrament meeting was quieter than the family ward and she had a tendency to talk. Consequently she didn't want to go. Michelle Moosman talked to my parents after sacrament meeting, and my mom told her why Allie hadn't wanted to come, and Michelle said, "We do have a quiet sacrament meeting." I asked Peter Moosman to drive me home; he regretted having worn Toms on a snowy day. I told him he didn't need to drive down Raygene, because I could walk, but he did drive me. He was listening to the Nashville Tribute Band Joseph album, saying he didn't like country but loved that one. I told him I had bought it at an LDS bookstore in my mission boundaries, and he said that was lucky, because he didn't have one in Kentucky.

2009. I was very sad to leave my final area of Lewiston, Idaho. At church, Brother Robinson (I think?) presented me with some farewell goodies: Power Bars, because I had "the power," and a pomegranate for the seeds I planted, and a pear for the fruits of my labors. One of my converts, Katelyn Heath, told me she had been to the temple for baptisms the day before, and I was very happy for her. During sacrament meeting for the YSA branch, I leaned over to Elder Tamblyn and told him it was time for me to leave, so he came out in the foyer to wish me goodbye. Then I got in the car with the Robisons (not Robinsons), who were driving me up to Spokane. We had to stop in Pullman to pick up Elder Hansen, but he had his suitcase locked in their car, and his companion had gone across the state border to go to church in Moscow, so we had to wait for him to return. I think the Robisons gave us some food they had packed, and I also ate my goodies, including the pomegranate, which Elder Hansen called a "weird fruit." I made myself add to my pushup queue for eating Power Bars. Then the Robisons dropped us off at the mission home. I remember asking Elder Bewley about the Carter children I had taught in my first area, whom he had apparently baptized later. He said that Jonathan was twelve and got up in testimony meeting and gave a very dynamic testimony, almost comically so. I told the story of one time when we were trying to get them to guess "Holy Ghost," and they were guessing all sorts of random things ("Nephi!"), and when we told them the Holy Ghost, Alex (a girl) said, "I know a real haunted house!" President Palmer asked how old Alex had been. I went in for my interview with him, and he asked what my longterm plans were. He told me that dates didn't need to be big things; they could just be going for ice cream at the Wilkinson Center. President Palmer's son Geoffrey was telling us about the Star Trek movie. I noticed that President had a book on his shelf about Mormons and evolution, and I remembered I'd have to read it sometime (and hoped my evil companion Elder LaPratt would see it). I was very sad and cried when I went to bed. (I've moved on with my life now, but writing this does fill me with nostalgia and a little bit of sadness.)

2008. Lucrecia, an excommunicated member, came to church, and she wanted to meet with the branch president, because she was very desirous to be baptized. Since she was our only investigator, we waited to start our Sunday School class until she was there (the others were a single sister and our branch mission leader and his wife). She was very happy when she came in. She told us what the branch president had said she needed to do for baptism--no coffee, no cigarettes, no alcohol, and then she could talk to him again. Our lesson that day just happened to be chastity. It was very awkward. The lesson said, "Breaking the law of chastity can cause you to commit a greater sin, abortion," to which Lucrecia said, "I forgot to tell him about that. It wasn't my fault, the government made me do it." Sister Moffett kept pronouncing it "prah-creation." That night we visited the Johnsons, and Denise told us she wanted us to teach chastity to her daughter. I did write in my journal that night, but I think it would be inappropriate to put here.

2007. Family members were coming up for my farewell talk. Sarena was admiring our Little People nativity and Pilgrims, and I was surprised she hadn't heard of Fisher Price Little People before. A member of the stake presidency was presiding at our meeting, and he said he had been in our ward when I was a kid. One of my mission prep teachers was in the congregation, and so was Rachel Cope. During my talk, I explained that I had come to terms with going on my mission until I sprained my ankle and thought I would have to wait longer. I talked about Joseph Smith's Civil War prophecy, and I talked about some of my coworkers. I had a Muslim coworker who thought that another coworker was a Mormon, but I didn't think so--the Muslim said she could tell Mormons because they were very nice, and she turned out to be right about the other girl. I also talked about the coworker who had been on a mission but obviously wasn't active in the Church--"She had the same name as a villain in a Disney movie, and it fit her perfectly." I didn't know whether she was mean because she quit the Church or if she quit the Church because she was mean. After sacrament meeting, my bishop asked me into his office and gave me a Boy Scout coin to take with me. As I came out, Hillary Ulmer, Latecia Pope, and Rachel Cope (all of them married now) noted that I was indeed limping. They asked, "Was your coworker named Maleficent, Ursula, Cruella, or [someone else--maybe Yzma?]?" When I said Ursula, Rachel said it was no wonder she was mean, growing up with a name like that. My cousins tried to get me to go home, but I opted to stay at church. During Sunday School, the topic was being a "peculiar people," and someone cited my talk. After church, Austin Anderson asked me if my coworker's name was Cruella, and I told him Ursula.

2003. I wrote in my journal:
"I've been bad this weekend [devious face] I've had too much chocolate (hot chocolate and candy) and eggnog. I haven't written in my journal, and I didn't read much. Oh, well. This week I'm not going to watch T.V. period. As a seminary class we're going to sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" for the school. I've been learning the tenor part. It's too high but only one note higher than the bass, and the bass goes too low. This week I have put up Christmas Decorations."

1999-1997. We might have been decorating our Christmas tree in 1997. I can remember one Sunday when my mom was late to sit with us at church (she might have been at choir practice), and she was disappointed that the opening hymn was an ordinary hymn: "I wanted to sing a Christmas song." I pointed out that the closing hymn was "The First Noel." 

The Saturday before Thanksgiving

I've now remembered the entire week of Thanksgiving, so now I creep earlier to the Saturday before.

2014. In the morning I went to an indexing breakfast at our bishopric second counselor's house. I was wearing my cat astronaut shirt under my orange hoodie. Madi Anderson saw part of the shirt and asked, "What is your shirt doing?" Some people from the other ward came because they had won the breakfast contest we had with them. Jeremy Gibbs was telling me he had to go to his work in Centerville, and Brady McArthur and others were talking about Taylor Swift's 1989 album. Later I went to the temple with my parents. It was very rainy when we got done, and then my parents went to Winegar's grocery store to buy groceries. I hated the white shirt I was wearing and didn't want to be seen in public wearing it. I sat in the car and played music and read the news on my phone. My mom had bought pumpkin ice cream. That night I made turkey and leaf sugar cookies, and I think I made orange frosting. I watched the "Turkey Day" episode of The Beverly Hillbillies, and I think I repeated what my roommate Scott had said this previous year: "Except for the terrible cigarette commercial, that was the best Thanksgiving show we watched." I wrote in my journal:
"Two years ago today was Thanksgiving!
"This morning I went to an indexing breakfast/party. I couldn't bear the thought of trying to decipher names on one of the batches. I went to the temple with Mom & Dad. It was rainy, and I didn't like my clothes, so I waited in the car while they went to Winegar's. Then I made sugar cookies tonight. It snowed but didn't last long.

2013. I know in the evening I watched the "Elly's First Date" episode of The Beverly Hillbillies.

2012. My ward in Provo had done a turkey bowl/chili contest. I didn't participate, but my former roommate Zach Zimmerman saw me and invited me to have some chili in his apartment. He had bought a lot of chili from Wendy's to take to the contest. That night I watched the "Thanksgiving Comes but Once a Year, Hopefully" episode of That Girl with my roommate Bryton. He liked the line "Technically, you and mom aren't blood relatives either." He asked if the show was like a commercial, since Ann was dressed very well and she said she used "room spray--hides cooking odors."

2011. In the morning I had to go to a work shift. As I was leaving work, the radio was playing Lady Gaga's "Telephone," which became stuck in my head the rest of the day. I think I went to Port of Subs but learned it was closed on Saturdays. That afternoon I wanted to go to World Market, so my parents drove us out there. A radio was playing "If I Die Young" outside the store. I got some turkey dishes and pumpkin bark; we admired the international nutcrackers, and we looked at various Christmas candies. Then we went to Chick-Fil-A for dinner, and they were all prepared for Christmas.

2010. It was a cloudy day as I drove up to the church where I parked to go running. As I got close to the twenty-minute mark, at which point I would turn around, it started snowing lightly. I found it kind of pleasant, and since it was almost time to turn around anyway, I just kept going until I really did need to turn around. Soon, however, it really started snowing/hailing hard, and I knew pretty soon it would be too slippery to run. Before I got to that point, however, an older guy and a younger girl stopped and offered me a ride. I said I needed a ride to the church; they said they would take me home, but I told them my car was there. I tried to pay it forward by offering a ride to a guy with a dog, but he declined. I really had to press firmly on the brakes near my house, and the antilock brakes came on. We had to call my sister to warn her it was really slick near our house, but I think she came later after the storm had calmed.

2009. I was on an exchange with Elder Critchfield in Clarkston, WA. The members he lived with were heading to Utah, so they agreed to take my bike and some other things with them. I rode my bike for the last time. Elder Critchfield saw some people on a porch, so he stopped to talk to them. A girl said she had been pregnant when she was thirteen--not because she was a promiscuous person but because she never had a birds-and-bees talk and was curious, an explanation I didn't entirely buy. We stopped to visit a family in a trailer. Later we stopped to get lunch from a food truck; in addition to my burger, I ordered spiced cider and was very disappointed it was the fake powdered stuff. When I expressed my disappointment, Elder Critchfield (who had kindly paid for my lunch) said he had noticed the powder in the window. We saw people putting up Christmas lights, and Elder Critchfield was talking on the phone while biking no-handed, which I couldn't do. We knocked doors, and one house set up a dinner appointment because they had Mormon relatives, and in fact they were going to a baptism that night. At another house, they were watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Then I think that night we stopped at a members' house, where they talked about Elder Rand, whom I had known from the beginning of my mission. I couldn't write in my journal because I packed my journal in the box of stuff I was sending home.

2008. I wrote in my journal:
"Today was quite a meh day. No one was home, like most Saturdays. It was cold in the evening, and all the weight and clothes were not comfortable. We saw the Stackhouses this evening, and we may be able to teach Destiny [whose father had previously objected]. We had to get food for dinner and breakfast from Family Foods. Our QGIs [quality gospel invitations] were not quality today, and neither is my coherency.
"One year ago today was Thanksgiving, and I immediately left the following week. I cannot believe my year mark is looming one day closer."
 
2004. I can remember a November Saturday, but I'm not sure whether it was the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I had to work on a group project for my French class, so I had my dad take me to my classmate Kenny's house. I thought I knew where it was, but I was way off, but we found it eventually. Kenny said he liked to watch the History Channel. His brother was taking Spanish, and Kenny said he was understood the word "blue" on a Spanish channel. Two girl classmates came over. Kenny turned on the new Shrek 2 soundtrack. When it was playing the Fairy Godmother's song, I was embarrassed for him and tried to speak loudly and consistently to draw attention away from the song. One girl said, "Girls are easy," and I pointed out the undesirable connotations of that choice of words. Then that afternoon I liked the autumnal atmosphere, so I put a chair underneath our crabapple tree to do homework outside. I liked the berry-like crabapples with the fall leaves.

2003. I wrote in my journal. This was a year when I was really excited for the Christmas season:
"I'm SO Glad it's the weekend. We only have school on Monday and Tuesday. Then it's Thanksgiving "RECess." I am glad. I need a break. And it starts the Christmas season [insert giddily happy face]

November 4

Time to remember what I can about November 4. Surprisingly, I don't remember the more recent years as well.

2014. It was Election Day, and I made a Facebook post about not voting: "The most responsible thing I could do would be to be a good citizen and know the issues and go vote. The second most responsible thing would be not to vote because I'm not informed. I chose the second most responsible thing." That's all I can remember right now.

2012. It was our last day in Death Valley for my geomorphology field trip. We packed up our tents, and I was shocked that one of my classmates changed his pants out in the open with girls standing ten feet away. We loaded up in the geology vans and drove out.

 We visited a place called Devil's Golf Course, where there were basalt rocks coated with salt. One of my classmates, Michael Arnold, said, "We're so mean to the devil." I licked some of the salt on the rocks, but they had a very rough texture.

 I was pleased to see a green rock on the ground, which I assumed to be the mineral olivine.

 Then we went to Badwater Basin, the lowest point in America. Lots of tourists had their pictures taken with a sign, which I found uninteresting. We went out on the salt flats after making a stop at the restrooms. I bent down to lick the ground. Our TA, Karl Arnold, picked up a piece of salt and began licking it like a lollipop.

 I asked one of my classmates to take a picture of me.

 Then we went to an abandoned mine and ate lunch. It was very hot. One of the TAs gave a devotional, saying that it was impractical to be fasting that day, but we should still remember it was fast Sunday, and maybe to listen to something a little less raucous. The restroom there was closed.

 We found a bug on the antenna.

Our professor went off somewhere to use the "restroom," and we had to tell one of our classmates not to go there, since he didn't know that's where she'd gone, or else he'd "see something [he'd] never forget." Another classmate told how he had been on a train and had the door opened on him when he was in the bathroom. We headed out of Death Valley, and our professor was playing churchy songs from her iPod (like EFY and MoTab). I offered my Lower Lights CD (yes, CD) to listen to. Dr. Radebaugh looked at the notes and said, "There's like fifty people in this band." At the second song ("I Saw the Light"), she said, "I listen to bluegrass on Sundays!" She skipped the song "Where the Soul of Man Never Dies," but at the end of the album she said she'd have to look them up. We passed some people looking at a layer of black rock next to the road; I thought it was an igneous sill, but I later learned it was a coal seam. (Now I know that igneous sills and coal seams look pretty different.) In Vegas, we stopped at In-N-Out. We could either eat there or eat leftover food on the truck. I ate at In-N-Out because I needed to use the restroom but felt bad doing so not as a paying customer. I did find it strange that the one time we went out on this BYU field trip was on Sunday. Someone jokingly said that we might as well be drinking coffee, since we were already breaking a commandment. We were all very ready for a bathroom break in Beaver, so we stopped at the gas station. I saw some orange Hostess Sno-Balls and debated buying them but decided not to since it was Sunday. Dr. Radebaugh bought some crackers. On our way home, I was texting my roommates to see if they could help me carry my stuff home from campus. My roommate Scott agreed to. I also got a text from our ward clerk, Michael Wyatt, and he was wondering how I was because I hadn't been at church that day. When we got back to campus, they were giving out food. I took a loaf of white bread, and maybe some skim milk, I don't remember. Soon Scott and lots of people from the ward showed up; he had invited them to come help me at ward prayer. There was plenty for everyone to carry something. At the end there was only my pillow and my bread. I let a girl carry my pillow, but maybe that was creepy. I was sandy and grimy. I wrote a short blog post.

2011. There was a lunch at my job at the Distribution Center; I think it was tacos or burritos, because I had brought tortillas. They asked me to say the blessing on the food; as I was praying, I heard Kelly Clarkson's "Mr. Know It All" playing on one of the radios in the work area. Some people had brought bags of candy. Some of my coworkers knew about my eating habits, and they asked if I could eat that Halloween candy. I said I couldn't, because Halloween was over, and it wasn't Halloween themed anyway. I explained that I could have candy corn things, because when I was in elementary school I read a Thanksgiving book called The Candy Corn Contest. I said I couldn't have plain candy because it was available year round. They said, "But candy corn is too." I said it was more common in the fall; they said, "Candy is too." They said my eating system had problems, and I acknowledged that it wasn't perfect. The previous night I had bought a bag of bulk candy corn taffy on clearance, and then I noticed that there was a produce sticker on the bag that said "5 A Day for Better Health," and I put that on Facebook.

2009. We tracted into a man whom I had met several months earlier when we attended a Bible study at another church. He was friendly and asked us why the Book of Mormon uses language from the Bible, as he heard. I explained my theory that it was to aid in the translation process, but I made it clear it was only my theory. He told us that his neighbors belonged to the Community of Christ, formerly RLDS Church. That night we visited Dianne Scott. Technically we shouldn't have been there, since there was no man present, but sometimes circumstances made it so we did that. (That rule was made for people who shouldn't be on missions anyway. But don't think I'm trying to discredit mission rules, because you should obey them.) She told us her conversion and things. I was a little surprised with how friendly she was, since most less-active members weren't so nice. Then we went and saw our Bishop, who lived on the same street. He offered us leftover pizza, and there was a conversation about how we sometimes perceive people as believing differently than they actually do. He brought up faith and works, saying he knew his Baptist preacher neighbor believed in living good lives. I said I felt the same way about the notion of the trinity. Sister Palmer told us we were welcome to come on Thanksgiving and asked what we wanted. I said pecan pie, and she said that Bishop was going to make that anyway. That night I wrote in my journal.
"This morning we did service helping Brother Ruddell and then Sister Carter. Later we tracted some and met a guy named Jack Azbill whom I met at the Tammany View Baptist Church. Then we saw Sister Gibbins, who was out in her yard.
"We had a good lesson with Mallary, then Elijah wasn't around. We had a long visit with Dianne Scott, a less-active I'd never met before. Then we stopped at Bishop's house, and talked and ate cold pizza."

2008. We spent half of our weeks at the home of a senior couple in one of our branches, and we helped them tile their entryway and fireplace. Actually Elder Love did most of it, since he was a handyman. We spent most of this day doing that, although a couple of times we changed into our proselyting clothes and went to our branch building to meet an investigator there. She never showed up. At one point I picked up a book of Edgar Allan Poe and read "The Raven" out loud. I felt bad that we spent all day doing the tile, but in retrospect I think it was a very good thing to do. I just wish I had been more helpful. We had dinner with the Christensen family at the Mexican restaurant in town. They commented on my very short hair, since Elder Love had shaved it the previous day without a comb on the clippers (or maybe the wrong size). When I told them what happened, their adopted five-year-old granddaughter Bailey jokingly scolded Elder Love. Bailey asked what we had been for Halloween. Elder Love said, "A missionary," and then he remembered, "I was Elder Melville!" Bailey didn't understand, so Sister Christensen said, "Elder Love wears one kind of tie, and Elder Melville wears a different kind." Elder Love said we wore the same tie (we just happened to have identical ties). Then Brother Christensen came with us to help the Stackhouse family with moving things from one house to another. (He was later annoyed that able-bodied kids weren't helping us.) I wrote in my journal:
"We helped with the Herrons' tile for most of the day. Not having much experience and fearing messing it up (since I never do anything right), I didn't feel like I was doing much. The times we weren't tiling we were waiting at the church to meet with Wanda but she didn't come. We also had dinner at a Mexican restaurant with the Christensens, and then helped the Stackhouses with a little moving. It was rainy and very cold today. I like my new sweater.

2006. It was my Grandma Judy's funeral, but I don't remember as much of it as I should. At the viewing in the morning, they offered everyone one last look before they locked the casket. I didn't feel a need to get up and look, because I had already paid my respects. Uncle Mike read out loud her obituary. It said she sang with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. My mom later said that she heard someone say "Huh?" when that was read, and she thought she had simply sung in a choir that was in a concert with the MoTab. The obituary was meant to sound pretentious. My grandma was not a member of the MoTab. They had all of us grandkids get up to sing a primary song during the service. Meanwhile, my cousin Peter (from the other side of the family) was upstairs in a nursery with my nephew Preston, who was eleven days shy of two years old. I felt a little bad that he was playing with my nephew instead of me--but it was my grandma's funeral. Then we went to my grandparents' house, and I helped carry things out. I think I carried some autumnal funeral wreaths. Allie and Preston were playing in the red Jeep in the yard.

I had a few "phases" at this time. One was that when I was in church clothes, I would gradually change out of them. Different occurrences would cause me to do one step towards changing. One of these steps was going outside, and since I was going outside a lot, I had a lot of times to gradually change. That's why I'm wearing a tie in the top picture, but my shirt is untucked without a tie and I have plain shoes on in the bottom. We went home that night, and while I was putting up my Thanksgiving maize lights on our fireplace, I acted on my other "phase": There was a full moon, so I pretended that I couldn't stay too long in the moonlight from the window, or else I would turn into a wolf. My mom was on the phone, and I think she was annoyed with my growling and hunching over.

2003. I don't specifically remember the day, nor the dress rehearsal for Evil Doings at Queen Toots' Tomb, but I wrote in my journal:
"Oi! It's only November 4, and already the Reeds have their Christmas tree up. I still need to take down Halloween and put up Thanksgiving decorations. [I stylized the word "Thanksgiving" with steaming corn cobs for the i's and a turkey beak for the v.] We had a rehearsal today. Our only dress rehearsal without an audience. It wasn't very good. We have microphones and whenever we walk by a speaker if the mikes are on, it makes a big, deafening noise. They echo, too. I didn't have much homework tonight, either, which is good, because I didn't get home until shortly before eight. There was pizza after practice."

2002. We were in Taiwan. I might have recorded the day in a journal somewhere, but I don't know where it is.

1996. Again, I don't remember this, but I found a second-grade journal, wherein the entry is fairly similar to 2003, even though I was seven years younger:
"This month is November. [This time the N was a turkey beak, and the v was an upside down tepee.] we don't have all of our Thanksgiving [again with the upside down tepee] decorations up, and we don't have all all [sic] of our Halloween decorations down. We'll work on it."

Youth Conference 2003

When I was thirteen, we had a youth conference with a missionary theme.

It started on a Friday night when we met at the church and received a "call" with our destination and companion. I was "called" to Japan, but that meant absolutely nothing. Ryan Jones was my companion.

At some point the first night, we went to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. I was wearing an extra name tag my brother had given me; that made the sisters in the clothing issue ask if I was endowed. After the temple, we got lessons from returned missionaries on how you teach lessons and what you might say to people. I think I got my lesson from Kyle Gubler. My brother was teaching some people the Taiwanese sign language he learned. Jaydon Bean was amused that the middle finger meant brother. A deacon was telling me that his brother was called to Hong Kong, but I didn't believe that such a mission existed (I was wrong, of course). We were instructed to live like missionaries that night, not watching TV or listening to music. (We didn't have to have a companion.)

In the morning we returned to the church for breakfast; but even though I had been assigned to the Japan mission, I didn't eat at the Japan table (hosted by Brother Bringhurst in a kimono; they had wasabi peas, among other things). Instead we ate at the Italian table hosted by the Ulmers. (The Gublers were in the church kitchen making a southern breakfast.) The Ulmers were very gung ho about their Italian meal. They gave us hazelnut Stephen's hot chocolate (instead of coffee). I think that was the first time I ever had Nutella, on some kind of fancy bread. They gave us some kind of ham product. There was so much food I couldn't really eat it all. They also gave us pages from an Italian language book, explaining the Italian alphabet, and I think they gave us copies of the Italian national anthem. They had a miniature Michelangelo's David that had little shorts on. Laura told us that their mission president had a life-size (meaning as big as a person, not as big as the statue) replica in the mission office, wearing shorts and a tie, with a sign that said something like "Be Mormon, be modest." I had to point the little statue out to Andrew Jones because I thought it was funny.

Then we were supposed to pretend to go tracting. I was wearing an extra name tag my brother had given me, so then some other people went and got their dads' nametags. We got little slips of paper that told us doors we were supposed to go knock on to pretend to be missionaries. We began looking and figuring out the most efficient route to go, but then they told us that we had to do them in the order they were written. One of the houses was lunch, so if we did the houses in order of proximity, it might mess up lunch schedules. Our first house was the Pays, where we were able to go in and "teach" a lesson. After our lesson, Brother Pay taught us how to teach prayer. Then we went up to the Nilssons'; Sister Nilsson let us in, but then Brother Nilsson pretended to be hostile and made us leave. We went to the Christensens', who let us in. Another companionship was there. They pretended to be drinking beer out of of brown bottles, pretending to be very friendly but not religious. Breaking the fourth wall a little bit, I said, "I see you have a Mormon hymnbook on your piano"; they said they had Mormon friends who gave it to them. Caleb got out their scriptures and said their friends gave those to them as well, which I thought was going a bit too far. There was something said about an erroneous belief that baptisms for the dead meant baptizing dead bodies.

We went to the Snarrs'; Sister Snarr answered the door and was dismissive of us. Then we went to the Greenburgs', where we were supposed to have lunch, but they weren't home. Ryan took us to his house, where his mom had sandwich things prepared for the companionship that was supposed to go there, but they never arrived. At some point the conversation turned to The Simpsons,  and they seemed surprised that I watched it.

Then we went back to the church. I remember remarking at some point that I didn't like that we knocked on so many houses but only taught one lesson; they said that was fairly accurate and perhaps was too generous. (It's probably like 1 in 1,000, or less.) We had a closing meeting in the chapel, and Laura Anderson spoke at it. I think I was feeling a little depressed.

Patriotic treats

If you read this blog, you undoubtedly know that I only eat candy and desserts that are seasonal. Seasonal treats abound at other times of the year, but for the Fourth of July, they are a little more rare. You never know what to expect from one year to the next; and even if a particular seasonal candy is made from year to year, you never know what stores will carry them. They're very inconsistent.

Therefore, I'm going to remember the patriotic desserts I've had in my life. Here is some basic information about this list:
1) This only includes things that I have personally eaten. I saw some patriotic candy corn the other day, but I haven't had them, so they're not on the list.
2) Some things on the list aren't strictly dessert, so I could eat them at any time (e.g. pretzels), but they are still fun to include.
3) The list refers mainly to pre-packaged goods. I'm excluding most bakery items (like sugar cookies) because there are always seasonal bakery items. (I think of the Killers lyric: "Red, white, and blue upon a birthday cake, my brother he was born on the Fourth of July.")

Many of these treats predate my seasonal eating rules, but I still remember them. (For those of you who are wondering, my eating habits got started in 2003, but they have evolved significantly since then, generally getting stricter.)

My favorite priority is unique flavors, followed by unique shapes and/or colors. Individually wrapped candies with seasonal wrappers count, but they're my least favorite kind of seasonal things.

Patriotic popsicles. Red, white, and blue popsicles are the one thing I can count on from year to year. They are made by multiple brands, and they aren't always marketed for the Fourth of July, so they're always around. I can eat any popsicles during June, July, and August, but these ones are funner. One noteworthy variation is Dairy Queen's Starkiss, which is shaped like a star and is striped.

Keebler rainbow cookies. Keebler's M&M cookies weren't originally made with M&Ms but with their own brand of chocolates. They had ones with red, white, and blue candies in the late 90s. I had them in 2012--they were marketed for the Olympics but I used them for the Fourth of July. This year, they use real M&Ms and are available at Target, and there are both regular and chocolate varieties.

Summer Oreo O's. Back in the late 1990s, there was a cereal called Oreo O's that had brown rings with white spots on it. One year, probably 1999, they changed the white spots to be red, white, and blue. This is the only time I have ever known of a patriotic cereal. Oreo O's no longer exist, so of course the summer variation does not.


Sno-Balls. You know the Hostess Sno-Balls, the chocolate cake covered with marshmallow and coconut? They usually come in two-packs, but in 2001 or thereabouts a Hostess store carried a three-pack with a red one, a white one, and a blue one. That's the only time I've ever known of them doing so. Before Hostess went out of business, they would change the colors (such as orange at Halloween and lavender at Easter), but I haven't seen them do it as much since they were resurrected.

After 9/11/2001, patriotic things became much more popular, and there was an abundance of patriotic things. In fact, I think some of the things that are still around today may have got their start then.

M&Ms. When I was a kid, I always wanted them to make red, white, and blue M&Ms, but it wasn't a reality until fall 2001. Since then, they have come back sporadically. I know I've had them in 2006, 2007, 2013, and 2015, but this year they're only available at Target, whereas they've been available elsewhere in the past. They come in both milk chocolate and peanut varieties.

Marshmallow Peeps. They made star-shaped Peeps after 9/11. I can't remember whether they were plain or vanilla flavored, but they were white with blue and red specks. They came back for a few Fourth of Julys, but they quit making them because they didn't sell well. In recent years, they've made vanilla-flavored traditional Peep (chick) shapes with the red and blue specks. I don't quite get it. I mean, chicks are still an Easter candy, and what makes them think chick-shaped candy will sell better at the Fourth of July than star-shaped candy?

E.L. Fudge cookies. In 2002 or 2003, there were patriotic E.L. Fudge cookies. These were truly unique--most patriotic candies simply change the colors, but these changed the shape instead. The elves were holding flags or patriotic signs.

Vanilla ice cream. In 2003, my mom bought vanilla ice cream that was colored red, white, and blue--like Neapolitan except it was one flavor. That's the only time I've known of patriotic ice cream.

Goldfish. Goldfish crackers are made red, white, and blue. I first had them in 2004, and I've had them every year since 2013.

American taffy. The Sweet's brand makes peppermint-flavored white taffy with patriotic wrappers. I know we had some in 2007. They used to come in boxes and bags. This year I saw them in bulk, and I got one in my 5k goodie bag this year.

Animal cookies. You know those pink and white, kind of waxy animal-shaped cookies? They used to make patriotic ones. In 2007, I had ones where the frosting had different colors, so there were white, red, and blue cookies. In 2010 and 2011, they were only white, but they had red and blue nonpareil sprinkles. I haven't seen them since then.

Little Debbie brownies. On my mission, in 2009, I saw various Little Debbie treats with a patriotic theme, and I got brownies. I haven't seen them since then.

Tootsie Rolls. These aren't my favorite, since once you take off the flag wrapper, they're the same brown candy, but they're fairly reliable from year to year. Shopko usually sells them, although I didn't see them this year, but I did get one in the goodie bag I got from my North Salt Lake 5k this year.

Tootsie Dots. In 2010 and 2011, I saw patriotic Dots. There were two kinds of Dots, and each Dot had two colors, a red and white one and a blue and white one. The white parts were vanilla, the red ones were cherry, and the blue ones were blueberry. I'm sad that they don't make them anymore, because they were some of my favorite candies. (The red and white ones are still made for Valentine's Day and Christmas, but the blue and white ones aren't otherwise around.)

Tootsie Roll Pops. One of my favorite patriotic candies, usually available at Shopko, are Tootsie Roll Pops. The red ones are cherry, the white ones are strawberry vanilla, and the blue ones are blue raspberry. I like these since the white and blue ones aren't available at other times. I think I've had them every year since 2010.

Blo-Pops. I've seen these in 2011 or 2012, but this is the first year I've had them. The red ones are cherry, the blue ones are raspberry, and the white are strawberry lemonade (which are really good). I'm not a big fan of gum-filled suckers, but I like them since patriotic candies are rare.

All-American Oreos. I've only seen these in 2012, and I don't know whether they were for the Fourth of July or the Olympics. They were the golden variety, and the creme was blue and red. They were plain flavors. They weren't the greatest, but I'm always sad to see Fourth of July desserts go.

Star-shaped Marshmallows. In 2012, I was really excited to see star-shaped marshmallows, and they were red (really pink), white, and blue.  Then I saw bigger ones. I've seen both sizes since then, but I usually get the big ones, since they're better for roasting, which is what you usually do during summer. However, I have occasionally used them on rare cold June days, since they allow me to have hot chocolate.

Pretzels. In 2013, I found pretzels that were shaped as flags, Liberty Bells, and stars. I haven't seen them since then.

Pop-Tarts. I first had patriotic Pop-Tarts in 2013. At that time, the pastry was red, the frosting was white, the berry filling was red, and the sugar sprinkles were red, white, and blue. I didn't see them in time in 2014, but in 2015 they're very different. The pastry is regular color, the frosting is blue with white star-shaped sprinkles, and the berry filling is still red. I think they've improved the flavor. (I'm not big on berry Pop-Tarts.)

Planters trail mix. In 2013 and 2014, I had patriotic Planters trail mix, made with peanuts, raisins, dried cranberries, red chocolate-covered peanuts, and blue and white chocolate pieces.

Patriotic Twizzlers. Walmart is the only store I've known to sell these patriotic Pull-and-Peel Twizzlers. Each strand is a different flavor; the white ones are lemonade, and the others are different berries. I've had them in 2014 and 2015.

Summer Ice Pop Tic-Tacs. Last year, there were red, white, and blue Tic-Tacs based on patriotic popsicles. The red ones were cherry, the white were lime, and the blue were berry. I haven't seen them this year. I have a feeling they may be the rarest of rare candies, so I'm lucky I got some last year.

Patriotic mints. At my 5k this week, I got a goodie bag with various mints. There was a dinner mint with a flag wrapper and some patriotic peppermint lozenge things. There was also a red, white, and blue striped candy stick, but it was some kind of fruit flavor and wasn't very good.

Caramel Cob. Caramel Cobs are basically large caramel popcorn balls shaped like a corncob. They put seasonal sprinkles on them. I had a Halloween one in 2012, and I saw patriotic ones in 2013, but I didn't have one until this year.

I always like seeing what will come out every year.

Movies I've seen in theaters

I don't see movies that often, and I tell people, "If you name a movie, I probably haven't seen it."

Therefore, I'm going to try to remember all the movies I have seen in theaters. I will undoubtedly miss some, especially those from when I was very young. (I probably saw Aladdin in theaters, but I don't remember it.) I'm only counting regular theaters. I'm not going to count documentary-type films seen at the Clark Planetarium, such as Beavers.

The Flintstones. We saw this at a drive-in, but I remember more about the second feature, which was Jurassic Park. My mom thought it would be too scary for me, so she made me go to sleep in the front seat (we had our trunk open and facing the screen). I was peeking over the seat, and I remember seeing the scene with the animated DNA. Every time my mom looked back, I would duck behind the seat. I thought she didn't know what I was doing, but she probably did.

The Lion King. It seems like we saw this movie after a day of back-to-school shopping. I remember going home that day and telling my dad we saw lions.

The Pagemaster. This was a birthday party for Jonathan Martin. We were supposed to see The Swan Princess, but when we got to the theater, we got to take a vote whether to see Swan Princess or Pagemaster. I voted Swan Princess, but I ended up loving The Pagemaster.
 
The Santa Clause. This was a family outing.

Pocahontas. I think we saw this at a drive-in, and I brought the McDonald's Happy Meal tie-in toy I had. However, I don't remember what the second feature was. I think this is the only time I've ever seen this movie.

Toy Story. My uncle Paul took me and my Thompson cousins to see this a few days after Christmas (I remember "Feliz Navidad" playing on the radio). When we left the theater, it was raining, and Paul said, "It's probably snowing at Strawberry." They asked what our favorite parts were, and Paul said, "Mark's was probably the Christmas part."

Nell. This was definitely not an appropriate movie for a six-year-old. Since I was so much younger than my siblings, I think my family had to take me to a lot of movies they wouldn't otherwise take me to.

The Indian in the Cupboard. We were going to this movie with Uncle Paul and his kids. Susanne left a note for our parents that we went to see the movie; she asked David, "How do you spell cupboard?" and that was the first time I learned to spell "cupboard." David got mad at me because he had to take me to the bathroom during the "best part" of the movie.

Phenomenon. This was at the drive-in with my Thompson cousins, and they had brought small plastic lawn chairs. I'm not sure why this was the first movie.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame. This was the second feature that night. This is the only time I've ever seen this movie.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park. My mom and my siblings and I went to see this with my grandparents.

Star Trek: Insurrection? I know I saw some Star Trek movie with my family, but I don't remember what one. I didn't know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. I remember telling my friend David Christensen that I had seen a Star Wars movie with a lady in a black dress, and he laughed and said, "That wasn't a lady!" because he thought I was talking about Darth Vader.

The Parent Trap. I had a broken leg, and we went in our white station wagon to the drive-in. I think my cousin Tammy was with us.

Mulan. This was the second feature that night. When we were leaving, I remember the "True to Your Heart" song playing on the radio. I was also thinking about the creepy music from The Black Cauldron, which we had recently purchased.

The Waterboy. In November 1998, we had gone to Cedar City for my cousin Kim's wedding. That night, the entire extended family went to see this. I'm not sure why they chose this movie (I know it wasn't my own family's decision), because there were lots of kids in the family. My mom told me to close my eyes in one scene, but they didn't show anything.

A Bug's Life. We stopped and saw this movie on our way to Fillmore on New Year's Eve 1998 (almost 1999).

My Favorite Martian. My aunt had some tickets to a pre-screening of the movie, so my cousins and I went, along with my aunt's friend Susan and her kids. When I think about these movies from my childhood, I see that PG-rated movies have really toned it down. I've been watching the original My Favorite Martian series on Hulu, and it's pretty bad.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. When we were watching this, the tape melted. I remember seeing the bubbling on the screen and thought it was just part of the movie. We were all taken in to another theater that was also showing the movie but had started a little later. I remember basically nothing about this movie. I also remember nothing about episode IV, the only other Star Wars movie I've ever seen, so I can basically say I've never seen Star Wars.
 
The Iron Giant. I saw this for my birthday with my friends David and Brad. There is one scene that I can remember that I'm pretty sure is from this movie, but it was taken out for the home video release--unless it's from a totally different movie. Hogarth makes an ice cream sundae while his mom is on the phone telling him only to eat healthy things, and while he's eating the cherry from the top, he says, "I'm eating something healthy right now!"

Toy Story 2. My family saw this on the day after Thanksgiving in 1999. There was one little kid who kept yelling and cheering with the movie.

Chicken Run. This was another birthday movie; I saw it with my friends David and Cory.

The Grinch. My parents took me to see this movie the day after Christmas in 2000, at the no-longer-existing theater on 2600 South near Woods Cross High. Then I went home and read the book and watched the TV special to compare them all.

Shrek. I actually don't really remember seeing this, but it might have been with my cousin Jesse.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. My sister came with us and had brought her friend's six-year-old son, and he kept wanting her to offer me popcorn and other treats.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. I found this movie boring.

Monsters Inc. I saw this with my parents.

Spider-Man (2002). My aunt Sarena was in town and she insisted on taking me to the movie, but I think I still had to pay for my own ticket. This is the only Spiderman movie I've ever seen.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I know I saw this, but I don't remember much about seeing it.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. I think this was at a dollar theater. I was bored by the first one, so I was reluctant to see this one, but my brother told me it was better. I went with him and Ya-ping, and I still found it boring. I've haven't seen any Lord of the Rings movies since then.

Holes. A 2003 drive-in trip.

Finding Nemo. Part of the same drive-in visit. I actually saw it twice in the theater. The second time was with Paul and my cousins. Tammy thought it might be too scary for her kids because of the shark, but I found it hilarious that two-year-old Anna said "the sark" was her favorite part. There was a grown woman who kept laughing and screaming loudly.

Elf . My family saw this on Ya-ping's birthday in 2003.

Shrek 2. While we were waiting in the theater to go into our theater, we passed one-year-old Allie around. When the movie was over, my mom and sister said they didn't know Julie Andrews was in the movie, but I had seen that on the movie poster.

The Incredibles. This was the day after Thanksgiving, and I think we saw it before some of us went to Target. I was disappointed in the movie's language.

March of the Penguins. I think we saw this movie because I liked polar regions.

Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit. I had reluctantly agreed to go to the drive-in on this October Saturday night.

Corpse Bride. This was the second movie that night, and I loved it. Our radio shut off during the climax scene, but we got it started again.

Cars. We saw this on July 3 in the Fillmore movie theater, which only has one theater. Allie was not quite three and Preston was one and a half. Allie fell asleep during the movie, but Preston didn't, and he said, "Car?" when the movie was over. When we got back to Grandma Judy's house, Preston was laughing at sleeping Allie and was trying to poke her.

Charlotte's Web. I saw this my senior year in high school.

Shrek the Third. Susanne took me and Allie to this movie, and she had smuggled in some frozen Junior Mints. This movie renewed Allie's interest in Shrek.

The Nightmare before Christmas 3D. This was released in 3D in 2006, but I didn't see it until 2007, on the day before Halloween. It was my mom, my sister, Allie, and my cousin Quin, who was thirteen. Susanne was annoyed that we made her sit by him and said that she had to watch him more than she did Allie.

Alice in Wonderland. I think this was the first movie I saw in a theater after my mission. My mom and dad met me to see it in Provo, and my dad wanted to see it in 3D.

Toy Story 3. We saw this in August 2010, just after I moved back home for the fall. My sister was wearing her "Advice from a Bat" shirt.

Tangled. We saw this in December 2010. Allie had already seen it, and when Flynn Ryder was mortally wounded, she assured us, "He's not really dead." She didn't have the concept of Spoiler Alert.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2. I don't really watch PG-13 movies, but a special set of circumstances led me to see this one. I think my grandma was in the hospital for some reason at this time.

Puss in Boots. We saw this on October 29, 2011, right after my parents made their very last house payment.

Hugo. We saw this in December or November of 2011. We saw it in 3D, and I didn't think it worked very well in 3D.

Arthur Christmas. I believe it was December 27 when we saw this movie in West Valley, so Christmas was already over.

The Lorax. On May 14, 2012, my roommate Bryton invited several people to go see a late showing at the dollar theater. Our little group had the whole theater to ourselves. It wasn't a great movie.

Frankenweenie. My parents met me in Provo on October 20, 2012, to see this movie. I had to see it. Sadly, this movie was overshadowed by Hotel Transylvania, an inferior flick.

Free Birds. My parents took me to this movie on November 2, 2013. I had to see it, since Thanksgiving movies are so rare.

Frozen. We saw this with my aunt's family on the day after Thanksgiving.

The Lego Movie. Last May, many members of my ward wanted to see this at the dollar theater. I rode with one Jarom Redhair, a very rude individual. It was a hilarious movie, and I understood why it sold out that night.

How to Train Your Dragon 2. We saw this at a drive-in last summer in California with my nephews.

Maleficent. This was the second feature that night, and our car battery died, so it was very hard to hear, but we got the gist of what was going on. My nephew Franklin seemed fine with the movie, but he initially wasn't keen on seeing a princess movie.

Meet the Mormons. I saw this opening weekend last October. I didn't think it was really that great for it to be released in mainstream theaters.

I'm sure I've seen others. And as soon as I post this, I will remember more.
 

Melville family cars

My family has had a fair amount of cars, especially since my dad likes having multiple cars. So I'm going to remember the ones we've had.

The gold Subaru. We had a gold Subaru when I was very young. I remember being able to see the road through a hole in the door. I can remember seeing a McDonald's napkin with multicolored M's on it, and there was a certain news sound I would hear on KSL that I always associate with the car. We got rid of this car in 1994 or 1995.

The Eagle. We had a car called an Eagle (apparently a Chrysler), and it was small (only a two-door), so we called it the "Eaglet." I can remember riding in it to our church for a Wednesday evening activity, and there were ginger snaps in the back, since my dad drove it to work. When I was seven or eight, my family wanted to sell it, so I made a "For Sale" sign with a green marker on a yellow piece of construction paper. It said "300$," and I remember my dad saying it wasn't selling because it looked like "3000." One time, we got a call asking about the car, and they asked for directions, so I said, "You're at the bottom of the hill, and then you go up..." and explained the way to our house, only in our neighborhood. The directions weren't helpful, but what could I do, since my mom was in the bathtub? Eventually, we sold it to a guy whose name was Markland, which was also the name of a fictional world I made up. A few weeks later, we got a call, because we hadn't removed the license plates, and Mr. Markland was apparently a homeless man living out of his car.

The Thunderbird. We got a brown Thunderbird, or T-bird, from my dad's parents when I was about five, and I was excited that it had a little ledge in front of the rear window where I could lie down. It only came with four seatbelts, so my dad bought another one for the middle seat in the back. My mom thought it was weird he bought a blue seatbelt when everything else was brown. We didn't have it very long before my dad totaled it by hitting an elk on his way to work in Park City. He was OK, but a little cut up.

The Mercury Marquis. We had a white station wagon with a blue interior. I was told it was a "Marquis," which sounded similar to my nickname, Marky. In 1996 (I think), my newly driving sister totaled it because she turned left in front of a car that didn't stop at a red light. One piece that was salvaged from the car was the little plastic "Marquis," which I kept on my bedroom door for years.

The blue Subaru Legacy. After we got rid of the gold Subaru, when I was six, we got a blue Legacy. I remember going to a special meeting for new car owners with my parents. They had a children's area where kids could play and get hot dogs, but I wanted to stay with my parents. I was content just holding my Valentine bear. My mom didn't like that the rear windows didn't roll down completely. In that vehicle, all five of us drove across the country to Washington, DC, and New York. One spring day in 2000, I think my mom was helping her friend's son Jake, and I was playing outside. My mom had to leave because she got a call that David had rolled the car, which he had dubbed Bertha. He was miraculously safe, but that was the end of that car.

The second station wagon. We got a very similar station wagon in 1995 to the one Susanne totaled, but I don't know if it was the same. It had a red interior instead of blue. I remember going with my mom when she bought it from the previous owners; they were talking about some Hispanic people who had stolen their car. That was the first time in my life I heard the word "Hispanic." I found a Donald Duck pen in the car, and I thought it belonged to the previous owners, but apparently it was ours. In 1999, David was at his girlfriend's house, and the car was parked on the street, and a teenage girl crashed into it and totaled it.

The Jeep Cherokee. In 1995 or 1996, my parents got a red Jeep, since my dad's family always had red Jeeps. The first night we rode in it, we stopped by my mom's friend Jackie's house, and I think we went to Smith's and got donuts. In 2003, when we got our Suburban, we sold the Jeep to my uncle Mike. I think he later wrecked it.

The Mercury Tracer. In 1999, after our second white car was totaled, my parents bought a 1994 Mercury Tracer. (I remember it was a 1994 because my friend Brad Rogers saw the tag on the keys that said "Used 1994" and thought it said "1999" and wondered how that was possible.) I think its official color was "Fiesta Red," but one of the documents called it "Hot Pink." It was definitely not hot pink, but it became known as the pink car. It had squealing brakes, so my dad suggested naming it Pig, since it was pink and squealed. Because of the brakes and the faulty automatic seatbelt, among other problems, my family sold it in 2007, thus ending my chances of learning how to drive a stick shift.

The white Subaru Legacy.  After the blue Subaru was totaled in 2000, my parents bought a 1995 Subaru Legacy. My dad suggested naming it Ghost, since it was white and was like a better version of the blue car. It was the first car that we ever had with a CD player, so that was really exciting, and the first car we ever had with a sunroof. We still have that car. It got me through high school and college and now I drive it to work. It's still in pretty good shape, considering how old it is. (It did refuse to start on the day before Halloween, but it fixed itself.)

The Chevy Suburban. Just before Easter in 2003, with my sister pregnant and my brother recently returned from a mission, my parents decided to get a bigger vehicle for our family. I was not happy with the purchase, as I didn't think we had money for it. We still have it, and our family has actually outgrown it. It came in especially handy when all of us lived together. We have taken many trips in it to Tennessee and California.

The Ford Taurus. In 2005, when I was a new driver, my family bought a green Taurus. It came with a Christian fish with a cross for an eye (get it? cross-eyed?) on the back. My dad thought it was part of the car, thinking it was the zodiac symbol for Taurus. But we told him that Taurus was a bull, so after that we sometimes referred to the car as the Pisces. It was a good little car, but the AC didn't work. If we fixed it, it would soon quit working. I took that car to Provo during the winter so that my dad could have the 4-wheel-drive Subaru during the winter, since he had a longer commute. When the car was covered with snow, sometimes water would leak into the passenger-side floor, and there would be puddles (or ice) in the car. Tired of fixing the AC, my parents sold it to my dad's cousin's family in the summer of 2013. I really liked driving it, but the AC was a problem.

The Toyota Rav4. One August night in 2007, I was standing outside Walmart, waiting for my mom to pick me up from work. I was talking with one of the guys who worked in Customer Service, telling him my mom was picking me up. A vehicle drove up and he said, "Is that your mom?" I said no, but then the window rolled down and it was her! I drove it a few times in those last few months before my mission, and I thought the seat didn't go back far enough. But I don't know why I thought that, because it does go far enough. My mom drives that car now.

The red Mazda. In the summer of 2013, my dad got a red Mazda CX5. It had to be red because that's his favorite color and his family always had red Jeeps. I'm not exactly sure why he got it. It's a good car, except that it has a really weird smell on the inside. He usually drives it to work.

The Nissan Pathfinder. In 2009, right after I got home from my mission, my sister traded her Nissan Altima for a Pathfinder. Last summer (2014), she wanted to buy a more gas-efficient car, so she wanted to sell the Pathfinder. The dealer wouldn't buy it for a great price, so my parents decided to buy it so they can go on adventures. I didn't know that they had done that until I had moved back home and my dad mentioned something about owning five cars. We took it on a bumpy road in Capitol Reef, and I think we will use it for more similar adventures. It's not as long as the Suburban but has better clearance than the other cars. We still often keep it at my sister's house, and she still drives it if it's snowy.

We still have the white Legacy, the Suburban, the Rav, the Mazda, and the Pathfinder. My grandparents say that we should get one more car. Then we will have enough for each of us in our house to have two.

Melville family pets

In this post, I'm not going to try to remember everything, but I will try to remember all the pets my family has had while I've been alive.

We had some guinea pigs, but family lore tells me one died because I dropped it. It seems that one was white and brown. I remember my dad burying some brown ones and him insinuating my cousin Jesse had contributed to their deaths. But I can't have been older than four, so who knows if that really happened.

We had a fishtank and we had plecostomuses, sucker fish. Because they are ugly, my family named them Homer, after Homer Simpson, and I think we had several Homers: Homer 1, Homer 2, etc. But then one day that fishtank cracked, so we had to transport the fish to bowls and my aunt came and took them.

One Christmas, probably in 1993 but maybe 1992, my brother got an iguana for Christmas and named it Lizzie. But a few days later it died. That was one of the rare times I saw my brother cry.

Soon after that, however, my parents got him a snake. It was an albino corn snake, so David named it Al. He used to play with Al all the time, and he even measured its length on the closet door where my family measured our growth. (My family got rid of that door. :( ) After a while, though, he quit playing with it as much, and it became less tame. That made it a problem when it would sometimes escape and he had to catch it. We used to go to the pet store to buy pinkie mice to feed it. We eventually gave it to my uncle's wife.

Around this same time, circa 1993, my aunt got a blue budgie bird that she intended to give to my cousins for Christmas, and we kept it at our house, but my family became attached to it and kept it. We named it Tweeters, Tweets for short.

In 1994 (I think), David got another bird, I think for his birthday. This bird was a cockatiel, named Spike for the stick-up feathers on its head. David often called her Spoy or Shpoy. David really wanted a dog, so Spike became his pseudo-dog. At one time we got bird food that looked like dog food. David taught it to bark, wolf whistle, and say "Pretty bird." It would often look in its mirror and go, "Pretty bird. Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty bird." We tried to teach it to whistle the Andy Griffith Show theme--it got the first notes right, but then it did its own thing. One peculiar trait it had was to put its head in its toy bell, grab the dinger with its beak, and shriek as loud as it could. This was loud to us, so we can only imagine what it was like for her! (Sorry I keep switching pronouns for the bird.) If she would see someone nodding, she would nod too. I used to run around the living room and spin my arms in circles, and that would make her nod too. Sometimes Spike would have night terrors and would thrash around in the cage, leaving bird blood splattered on the cage and walls.

When we would get the two birds out, Tweeters was a little more defensive and aggressive, even though she was the smaller bird. David cut out pieces of cloth to put on his shoulders to keep his clothes clean. Sometimes he would take the birds (at least Spike) into the shower with him, although I don't think they sat on his shoulder but on his finger. David left on his mission and later moved away again, and since birds are messy, we didn't get them out often, and they got less tame. Tweets died just before Thanksgiving in 2003. In 2007, my sister was diagnosed with some disease that was aggravated by birds, so we had to give Spike away.

In 1995 or so, our neighbors across the street, the Reeds, gave us a hamster. I think one morning David found it in a plant holder. Shortly after that, we found it had escaped again and died, probably from eating mouse poison.

For my birthday in 1994, we got a new fishtank, and over the years, we had lots and lots of fish. I was particularly fond of the see-through glass fish, and I liked the crabs we had that used to escape. (I once wrote a post all about the crabs.)

We had a few notable fish. When I was in first grade, we had orange fish in which the males had sword tails, and on one occasion we bought both a male and a female, and soon the female was pregnant, and shortly thereafter there were lots of tiny orange dots in the fishtank. The other fish, including the parents, tried to eat the babies, but one hid in our decorative rocks. We captured it and took it to my aunt's house so it could be safe until it was fully grown. I named it Pumpkin and it lived to adulthood.

In college, David became a biologist and worked with zebrafish. In one lab in 2000 (I think), he injected chemicals into sets of 100 zebrafish, and in one of those sets, two fish survived while all others died. I don't know if they survived because they were superfish, or if they were superfish because of the chemicals, but these were super hardy fish. David named them Ishmael and Queequeg, characters in Moby Dick. They lived for more than four years, maybe even as long as six years. Not only did they live a long time, they lived in harsh environments. My mom took the aquarium to school, and the kids accidentally turned up the heat, killing all the fish except for the zebrafish. We weren't the most responsible at cleaning the tank, and sometimes it became super gross and all the fish died except the zebrafish.

And then there are our cats. In 2001, my sister and her roommates got a cat, Cleo, and we watched it for a few weeks. After that, I really wanted a cat. My mom's friend's cat had kittens on July 16, 2001, so we got one, a black and white cat with a black "mustache." I named it Dinah, after Alice (in Wonderland)'s cat. Dinah was hilarious but mean. She would sometimes bite me and even drew blood. She liked to attack my feet. As she got older, she got tamer.

Unfortunately, after we had had her for just over a year, in September or October 2002, she disappeared. We don't know what happened to her, although my dad saw a raccoon in our yard the night she disappeared. We went to the pound, but she wasn't there.

But I wanted to get a replacement cat. We were going to Taiwan in November 2002, so I asked my maternal grandparents if they would watch a new cat while we were gone. They agreed, so in October we went to the pound and got a grey kitten, which we named Jenny. More than twelve years later, Jenny is still alive and well. And what a strange cat she is. Soon after we got her, my paternal grandparents came for a visit, and Jenny loved rubbing against Grandma Judy's white leather shoes. To this day, she likes to rub against feet, more than she likes to be petted by hands. My dad won't let her be fed inside the house because she tends to throw up. She's picky about her litter box. She isn't particularly loving, hisses at kids, and likes to spill her water bowl. But she's a good mouser, and I like having her.

Conversation hearts

You know those chalky little hearts we always get in February? Love 'em or hate 'em, they are a ubiquitous part of Valentine's Day. (I'm actually surprised there aren't things flavored like them, like there are lots of candy corn-flavored things.) With it being nearly Valentine's Day, I'm going to remember incidents connected with them.

In preschool, one day we were in the upstairs dance hall, playing around, and when we were done playing, our teacher gave us some with faces on them. (I noticed that was different, so I obviously had had them before that.)

When I was in kindergarten, I decided I wanted to do a Valentine's adaptation of Santa Claus, so when we were at Kmart one night, I wanted to get a bag of the hearts. I made stockings out of paper and drew hearts on them and stapled the front and back pieces together. I was going to wait until Valentine's Day, but I couldn't wait, so I got up really early one morning, when it was still dark and my siblings were getting ready for their school, and I put the hearts in the stockings I had made. I remembered seeing pictures of Santa with his finger over his mouth, so I did that, and then I asked Susanne if she knew why I did that. She said she thought it was because I was telling her to be quiet, but I said that wasn't why. I remember her saying the yellow ones were her favorite.

One January in 1998 or so, I was at Food 4 Less in Bountiful, the one by the no-longer-existing Five Points Mall. I begged my parents to get me a box of  them, and they did. There was another girl who got her mom to get a whole bunch of them for a party.

In third grade, my friend David Christensen gave me his valentine at recess, and it had a few "lacy" conversation hearts in it.

Another time, perhaps around 2000, our home teacher's wife, Ivy Petersen, was visiting us and said she loved conversation hearts and got them right after Christmas. But she didn't like the purple ones, saying they "taste like perfume."

On Valentine's Day 2001, I was at mutual, and I remember someone in another ward saying some girls had helped her decorate sugar cookies, and some of them had conversation hearts. I thought that was a horrible topping for a cookie.

In junior high, I remember talking with my friend Houston about how the white ones were our favorites. Around that time, my family bought a bag that was all white, but they were a strong peppermint instead of the mellow wintergreen in the regular mix. My dad loved them.

On Valentine's Day in eighth grade, I awkwardly gave handfuls of the hearts to girls from my ward as they walked past me on the bus.

One year, perhaps in 2005, I was dismayed that I hadn't had any conversation hearts, and my mom had only a few that she got from her class, and they were weird ones.

In 2006, I put a bunch of conversation hearts in a dish downstairs. Months later, they still weren't gone, and my nephew Preston (between 19 and 21 months) knew they were up on the shelf. He had his own language, with some words in English, some in Chinese, and some that he had invented himself. His word for candy was "ba." (My guess is that it was the way he tried to say "pop," as in "Otter Pop.") He would beg for "ba," so I would get one for him.

A few days after Christmas in 2007, on my mission, we had visited our investigator Cindy, and she gave us boxes of conversation hearts. I think they were of the "smoothie" variety. Perhaps that day, or at least very soon after that, we were out shoveling the driveway where we lived, and I slipped a little bit. I didn't fall, but somehow my slip hurt my ankle, and I felt like I had sprained it again. So I went inside and read on my bed while eating the conversation hearts.

I got some in a package from my mom in 2009, but I got transferred right before Valentine's Day, so I didn't eat many of them before I went to my new area. (I didn't want to take them with me.)

On Martin Luther King Jr. Day in 2010, I was at Walmart with my family, and I got a bag. They were different from the ones I was used to, and they even had a blue one. That night I went to my dinner group in Provo, and the host had bought some cookies that were heart-shaped with messages on them. That led to a conversation about the candies, and someone said how bad they were, and I told them they had changed them and they were better.

In 2013, I put some ice cream-flavored ones in a jar in my apartment for a decoration. My roommate Cameron loved them, and one day I discovered one on the stairs outside our apartment, I think because our friend Carissa had taken some with her and dropped one. That heart was on the step for months. After he had eaten some, he bought two new bags--one was the ice cream kind like I had, and one was the large version of the fruit variety. He asked me which I would prefer him to put in (he correctly guessed that the ones I had were the ice cream ones); I can't remember what I said. Once Valentine's Day was over, I transferred them to a bowl, but then I quit eating them, and apparently Cameron quit eating them, because they sat in the bowl for months until I decided they were too dusty to be good for anything. (Come to think of it, it was around that time Cameron decided he was too good for us. So apparently he was too good for the hearts, too.)

Three days before Thanksgiving

This time, I'm going to remember what I can about the Monday before Thanksgiving.

2013. In the evening, I watched the "Turkey Day" episode of The Beverly Hilbillies. After it was over, my roommate Scott said, "Except for the terrible cigarette commercial, that was the best Thanksgiving episode we've watched"; I told him it was better than the show's previous Thanksgiving episode. I wanted to go running, since I was super excited that I had later classes the next morning. I ran up 900 East, since it was too dark to go in darker neighborhoods. I only ran for about half an hour, since that's all I had time for. I wanted to see what an always-decorated house looked like. They were all decked out for Christmas, which wasn't too surprising, since they put up Easter stuff right after Valentine's Day. I was surprised to see a new intersection and new stoplight patterns.

2012. In the evening I was watching the Thanksgiving episode of Bewitched when there was a knock at the door. I paused the show to answer the door, and it was two of my horse friends, Kristen and Carissa. They came in, and after a minute Carissa asked if they could watch Bewitched with me. I told them, "They've been transported back to the first Thanksgiving," and I think they thought the episode was over before it was. They stayed and visited. My roommate Cameron came home and visited as well. The horses told him we were getting into the Thanksgiving spirit; he said, "By watching Bewitched?" and I said it was the Thanksgiving ep. There was talk about going to Gygi's in Salt Lake (I clued them into the pronunciation) and about going to bars--even though they wouldn't drink, I still thought that was inappropriate. Cameron said he had gone to a bar and someone had snapped his suspenders. As it got close to midnight, I told them they needed to leave, since it was almost curfew.

2009. For dinner, we ate at the Bartschi family's house. There was conversation about me going home (I'm not sure how they found that out). I told them of a video I had seen on my brother's blog where Franklin was putting a stuffed alligator to bed, and my mom had commented that she hoped he wouldn't fall on the new baby. That made me suspect that they were trying to keep the announcement of a new baby a surprise. (I found out later it wasn't meant to be a surprise; they just forgot to tell me.) We visited a former investigator named Jordan (a girl). Then we met our zone leaders at the stake center to go on an exchange. They told me I needed to take warm clothes, even though it was warm in Lewiston, so I think we drove back to our apartment so I could get a coat and some warm things. I put in my retainer, which made me speak with a slight lisp, and somehow the word "ferocioulicious" got coined, which sounded especially funny with my lisp. Elder Keddington wrote "ferocioulicious" on the picture I had drawn of Elder LaPratt, but he wrote it as "Froiouslious," which isn't even close. Elder Hansen mentioned the "Wicked Witch of the West."

On our way up to Pullman, Elder Hansen was listening to a CD of covers of seminary songs. I began talking about my Cherie Call Ocean in Me album and the lyric, "Now the Great and Spacious Building has me scrubbing up the floors; I've got to find a way to tell them I can't work there anymore." Elder Hansen made a remark about me liking LDS music. This might have been the time there were tumbleweeds all over the road out of Lewiston. It was really cold in Pullman, and there was snow on the ground.

2008. We traded our car with the elders in Medical Lake, and there was a jewelry charm hanging on the rearview mirror of the car we got. That night we had dinner with the Zellers, a part-member family. I think we had lasagna with elk meat, which I didn't like. The previous night we had had elk meat taco salad (or something), and I could tell it didn't taste like beef. When I ate the lasagna, I thought, "Maybe elk does taste like beef," since I thought it was beef lasagna, but then I found out it was elk, and I didn't like it. I shared the scripture in Alma about living in tdaily.  This is my journal entry:
"Today was an ordinary P-day with shopping, e-mail, bowling, and such. We had dinner with the Zellers. The greatest anomaly was trading our car. It's almost the same on the inside so it's hard to get used to the white. It's older than our old one but has fewer miles. I don't think Elder LaPratt, with whom we traded, likes me that much." (Elder LaPratt was just an evil person.)

2007. In the morning, I was sad to say goodbye to three-year-old Preston, knowing that I wouldn't see him for two years. I asked at the Nashville airport if they could arrange for a wheelchair to meet me at the Dallas airport, since I had a sprained ankle. When I got on the plane, we had to wait because there had been a power outage in Dallas. Eventually we left, and indeed there was a wheelchair waiting for me in Dallas. Then I got on one of the airport vehicles, driven by an Indian (as in from India) who didn't seem like he knew what he was doing. We picked up some other handicapped people, and we went all over the place and had to keep switching vehicles. It was ridiculous. At one point I went and sat on the floor because I hated standing on one foot. Their lack of efficiency made me miss my flight. I went and talked to the lady at the desk and she told me that I might be able to get on a flight that night, but if I didn't get on that one, I would have to wait even longer. I got some coins (since I had no cell phone) and was able to get a hold of Susanne to tell her my situation. While I waited I read the sixth Harry Potter, since I hadn't finished it yet. I might have finished the book on the plane. I was able to get on the next flight, for which I was grateful. When I got on the plane, a man was in my seat. But a flight attendant let me sit in his seat, which worked out well because it was an aisle seat while my original one was a middle seat. They put my crutches in the overhead storage. When we landed, a man asked me if I wanted him to take down my crutches. As I was walking through the Salt Lake airport, some people said, "That's a terrible way to travel!" When I exited the terminal, my mom was holding sleeping four-year-old Allie and had a wheelchair. I sat down and she gave me Allie to hold while she went to find my luggage. I think she said she had just taken the wheelchair, and I might get in trouble for holding Allie. I was excited when I got home that I got my DVD of The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas, but I don't think I watched it that night.

2006. It seems that I might have been working on a Thanksgiving paper for AP English. It was a late-night writing session, since it was due the next day.

2005. There was a Thanksgiving seminary lesson that day. We made origami turkeys and read a Psalm about thanksgiving.

2003. I think I went to Kmart with my dad because I needed to get tortilla chips for a seminary "extended devotional" (party) the next day. I also wanted some Christmas candy for the Christmas season, so my dad got Christmas Peanut M&Ms. I actually wrote a journal entry that day, stylized with decorative letters:
"Thanksgiving is this week. It will be Thanksgiving vacation, so tomorrow is Friday and today is Thursday. Gee, the week went by quickly. Tomorrow is extended devotional and since I'm on the activities committee, I signed up for devotional. We went to see You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown at the High School on Saturday, and tomorrow we're seeing Annie at Hale Centre Theatre."