Scout camp 2003

Of the six scout camps we had when I was a scout, I only went to half of them. But for me, going to half of them is actually pretty good.

For our 2003 trip, we met in the church parking lot one morning. I was wearing a blue polo shirt, and I said it made me look like the Skipper on Gilligan's Island, my obsession at the time. On our way to our camping place, we stopped at a cave. Some old lady made some snide comment about us scouts being noisy, and Brother Milligan later called her a bitty (not when they were around of course). Mike Dolan also remarked that the cave formations looked nothing like what the cave guide said they looked like. We also drove past Bear Lake, which is the only time I've ever seen it. We drove up to some place in Idaho (or maybe it was Wyoming), a rather primitive camping site by a river. I'm not sure I would have gone if I had known how primitive it was, but I was glad I went. We set up our tents, and I was in a tent with Jordan Morley and Mark Millard. That first day, we played Scum with Morgan Smith's cards with the design of a $100 bill on the back.

I think on our second day, we went rafting down the river. I was wearing my yellow swimsuit and one of those Urkel-esque cords on the back of my glasses because I didn't want them to fall off. One of the days, Mark, Jordan, and I spent some time in the river making a dam. I was singing all sorts of songs, like "I am a rock, I am an island," "Climb every mountain that's in the stream," and "Home, where my cat lies waiting silently for me."

David and Wayne Christensen came later; I remember them saying they had had to stop on the side of the road for a nap because Wayne was really tired.

One day, we went on a hike, and being terribly out of shape, I was really slow and I was way behind everyone else. I think David Christensen had been walking with me (on the car ride, we had been assigning Gilligan's Island characters and we said David could be Mary Ann, and Andrew Jones was quoting some "celebrity Jeopardy" thing about the show), and they told me we needed to go faster. But I couldn't go faster, so I told them to go on without me. Wayne told me what to do if I saw a moose. When we got to the top, everyone got in a little pond, but I didn't. I made up a parody of the Gilligan's Island tune, but I don't remember all of it and I'm too embarrassed to share it here.

We played cards at camp a lot. One time, we were in Jaydon Bean's tent and he got mad at me for getting my shoe on his Snoopy pillowcase. Another time we were outside listening to Weird Al and eating the special M&Ms I had brought.

One day, we were going to Jackson Hole, so we got in our bathing suits and cleaned ourselves in the river. Going around Jackson Hole was nice. We were in one gift shop and I was surprised at the filthy souvenirs they had. Later, I was waiting in a park and saw a man with a cigar. For dinner, we went to see the Bar-J Wranglers. Brother Milligan had told us that everyone he had ever brought there liked the show. For dinner, the only drinks were coffee and lemonade, so of course we got lemonade, but I wondered about those who just wanted water. When the performers got up, they asked where everyone was from. A lot of people called out "Utah!" (and Brother Milligan knew some of them, and he said he always met someone he knew there). The performers asked all the Utah people how to pronounce the city that starts with T (Tooele) and they told a story where they went in someplace and said, "What do you call this place?" and the other guy said "Taco Bell." One of the pictures on the background of the stage was of a dog, but I thought it was a horse kicking its legs. The singers were talented, although I thought their jokes were a little corny. They did a portion of the show with more serious music, and they were able to have one person hum a note and pass it around from person to person. At the end of the show, everyone said they liked it, either for the comedy or the music.

I remember conversations with Mark and Jordan in our tent. I asked them what it was like being a ninth grader, and they said it was pretty much the same. In the yearbook, Jordan had been selected "Most likely to create a new candy bar," which he didn't think fit him, but I thought it did. Mark snored a lot, and after the Bar J Wranglers, I had a dream that they were doing their pass-along trick with his snoring.

One day, we needed to clean out Brother Gubler's van, and Mike Dolan found someone's Triscuit on the floor.

When I got back, I watched three hours of I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, and Gilligan's Island while eating my leftover Wheat Thins.