I only have three minutes left in my session. Sometimes it
asks if I want more but they must be busy today. Sorry I can't write much! I'll
try to write! Thanks for the package![1]
[1] We
would email at the Lewiston library, and there was a time limit, and I think
the summertime made it busier there. My letter to the mission president must
have been long; at one point I saved copies of my emails to him, but now I can’t
find them. I had had an experience with my companion the night before. Ten
years later, it still makes my blood boil, and it also makes me mad that other
people would ever be friends with this person.
We had visited a less-active member and got into some rather
strange, esoteric topics. At one point, evolution came up. I was very careful
to tread lightly around this topic, since the Church has taken no position. I
said something like, “I don’t see what difference it makes, whether it’s true
or not,” and my companion said, “False doctrine!” After we returned to our
apartment, it came up again, and again, he told me it was false doctrine,
quoting some unusual statements by Brigham Young. I said those weren’t doctrine.
Then when I tried to defend or explain my position, he would just talk over me
and refuse to listen. Then he said, “I’ve always thought of you as like a
greenie, but this shows me how stupid you really are!” We were co-senior companions.
I was so mad that I couldn’t sleep that night. I
thought, “What if I committed suicide by stabbing myself and then wrote ‘Thanks
Elder L’ on the wall with my blood?” I didn’t want to be dead or commit
suicide, I just wanted to do something that would make him feel terrible (if he even is capable of that emotion).
I still have no kind feelings for this person. He’s
married with a kid. His wife must be evil as well in order to marry him. And what
a shame that he’s likely raising another horrible person!
The first time I saw him, I thought he was hideous.
And later I realized why, remembering this Roald Dahl quote: “If a person has
ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly
thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier
until you can hardly bear to look at it.”
I have only described one incident, but there were others
as well. A year and a half ago, I stalked his Facebook feed (using another account;
I’ve blocked him on mine). His feed was full of racist, sexist, Trump-esque comments.
So I don’t think he’s an evil person just because of this one incident. I think
he’s an evil person because he really is an evil person.
I also stalked his Instagram feed, and he said he hadn’t
mowed a lawn in twelve years. But we would mow lawns for an elderly sister
every week, and that was only ten years ago. He can’t do basic math? Look who’s
stupid now!
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