Today is my five month mark! (4/28/08)

That's great about the suit.1 I'm glad my package made it. (I think everything is self-explanatory in there but the tie--it was Elder Ch.'s and he didn't want it and I don't have much use for it currently so I'm sending it home).2 Yes, I would like to have the suit whenever you can send it. (Side note--my slacks are all way too big--I'll have to find some member who can take them in. They made them like three or four inches too big in the first place,3 with elastic nonetheless, and then I've lost weight. Our district is also doing the Biggest Loser4--hopefully I can shed a little more then.) The only other thing I would like is a mini book of the primary songs. (Another tangent--I was looking through the primary song book and if you look closely you can see that "Once Within a Lowly Stable" is a complete knock-off of "Once in Royal David's City"--you can even switch the lyrics from one tune to another!) As for sending them, the Welshes are in Utah this week and they offered to stop by to take anything or pick anything up (I had sent my package two hours before they offered), so I gave them our address and phone number and they might stop by so you'll meet my host family! You can probably send stuff back up with them.

This week we had a lesson with Heather and Matt. I think I wrote about them last week. Anyway, I taught the Word of Wisdom and then came time for a commitment. I committed them to quit coffee (the only thing they violate). It was silent for a bit so I was a little worried. My companion was I think even more nervous, and I know the fellowshippers were very nervous because they walk on egg shells with these people. But they said yes! They'd do it! I hope they keep it. I think Matt could be ready. I think Heather wants to be ready but she doesn't want to want to be ready.

Also this week we made contact with a recent convert of whom we lost contact three months ago. She was meeting with President so he called us and we're back on track to do new member lessons with her.5 We also got a new investigator in the form of a part-member family. She told us he doesn't like religious people but he liked us, and they came to Elders Quorum game night where they were immediately fellowshipped. He didn't make it to church but she did, and hopefully he'll be there this week. The bishop also invited another PMF to have the lessons in his house so that should happen this week.

And looking in the index of the triple combination I found some errors. They spelled Jeneum (a Nephite commander defeated in Mormon 6) as Jeneam, and they spelled cumoms (the unidentified animal mentioned in Ether) as cummoms. You'd think they'd be better than to have two mistakes in the index.6

Writing letters has proved very difficult so don't expect snail mail for a while unless I can get through writing back everyone else.

--Elder Melville


1When my mom forwarded this email to family, she said, “Note about the suit comment. One of his suits wore through already, but Mr. Mac's just replaced it and will alter it free as well.”

2I believe I was referring to this tie:

3I’m not exaggerating here. If I recall correctly, they measured my waist at 39 inches in those days, and they gave me size 43. I think they were judgmental and assumed that this fat kid would get fatter.

4This might have been the time my family told me they were doing a Biggest Loser competition among themselves. My dad won by losing five pounds.

5Oh yes, Denise. What a sad story all around. The missionary who baptized her was sent home once it was discovered he had broken the law of chastity in the bathroom with a girl. I think it was Denise’s friend’s daughter or something. I believe Denise was baptized after he had done the deed but before people knew. This all went down right before I got in the mission; it happened in another area, and then Denise moved in to our area after she was baptized. I remember Denise saying she kept in contact with him on Myspace and he said he might not get excommunicated. After this, our mission president made all missionaries commit to “locking their hearts.” I knew some missionaries who had been trained by him, and it sounds like it happened more than once. Denise told us she didn’t hold it against the Church that this happened, but she did struggle with making it to church. She was in her late 20s and was enormous; she had to be close to 400 pounds. I recently Googled and learned that she died in 2011 in her early 30s.

6They fixed these misspellings for the 2013 edition.

Six more weeks (4/21/08)

This week we got transfer calls and I am staying in Mead with Elder C. for another transfer! I am Elder C.'s eleventh companion (not counting the MTC) and, except for his trainer, I am the only one he has had more than a transfer. I filled out the dates in my next planner, and this transfer I hit five months, I call home for Mothers' Day (I'll have had two phone calls before I hit six months), Preston turns three and a half, Pops turns fifty-seven, and I hit six months. Wow!

On a side note, I hope I am not exhausting my home resources. I like to withdraw money from my account and then spend it on various things. Often we go out to eat as a district and I pay with my money,1 and last week I bought a CD by a Christian artist named Michelle Tumes. I really like it but I can't listen to two of the songs because they are love songs.2 (We like to joke that they're OK because they're allegorical, just like the uninspired Song of Solomon is supposed to be--but we know we can't really listen to them.)

I'm getting ready to ship my suit off home so that should be coming soon, along with my memory cards with videos on them. You don't have to send my cards back--at least, now I don't feel like you need to--because I feel like I'm getting a hord of cards and I am going to get more and more and you'll lose all of yours.

One of the families we're teaching is a single mom, Heather, and her 15-year-old son, Matt. We're teaching them in a members' home. Last week they came to church. Heather has problems believing even that Jesus is divine so the members wanted us to do a lesson on that. This week our lesson was a testimony meeting, and we had testimonies from us, the members, Job, Peter, the brother of Jared, President Hinckley, Elder Wirthlin, Elder Hales, and Elder Holland. This week Heather said she wasn't feeling well but Matt called the members--who are almost sixty--and asked for a ride to church! It was a huge step. We think Matt could and would get baptized but it would be a while before he would get his mom's permission. With a little time, though, I think we'll get him, at least.

We also learned that a part-member family--the member is the sister of the dad of my first baptism--agreed to have the lessons in the bishop's home! And another investigator has set a date for June! And we have two other referrals we're still trying to get a hold of--one of whom is African and has a member uncle! It's exciting.

This is an interesting story that happened a while ago but I don't think I've told you yet. During my first transfer I found an area here in Mead that I had dreamt about before my mission. That was pretty interesting. But then, one of my first days with Elder C., I found another place I'd dreamt about while I was in the MTC. The main difference was that in the dream it was a mud road (and family was on the road) and here it was paved (and no family), but it's totally the same place. These places are places we don't go often and nothing significant has come out of them, but it is very interesting that there are not one but two places I've dreamt about before I've seen them. The dreams were insignificant, the real places were insignificant, but it is still very interesting.

Thanks for letting me know about how you will be sending a package. Last night I had a dream that I was waiting for a package and it didn't come until you brought it up here yourselves (I don't know why you were visiting) and it was huge. It had some of your clothes in it (I think to fill space) and I couldn't figure out why you sent Christmas candy because it wasn't even the Fourth of July. I feel guilty asking for all those things. Hopefully I won't ask for anything else for a while, since most things I request are silly and somewhat costly.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. Until next week,

Elder Melville

1I think my mom erroneously thought this meant that I paid for everyone else’s lunch. Nope. I just paid for my own.

2This album was The Very Best of Michelle Tumes. She’s like Enya. I actually learned after my mission that one of the songs, “Please Come Back,” was actually about the Prodigal Son from the father’s perspective, so it was totally mission appropriate. It wouldn’t surprise me if the other one, “Do Ya,” also had some Christian meaning.

Suit coat OFF (4/14/08)

This week it got really warm and we got to shed our suit coats. Today hopefully I will get my good suit drycleaned so next week I can ship my worn one off. Elder C. pointed out that even the jacket is wearing. 

This was a mediocre week (although we had three investigators at church) and I was on an exchange in another area the day we had all our best appointments so this letter will focus more on silly anecdotes. I had to go on two  exchanges this week. I felt like my companion was district leader again.

I am keeping a list of funny scriptures and I found some more this week. One is in Proverbs 6 (I don't remember the verse) and it says "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways and be wise."¹ Another one wasn't so funny but Alma made a mistake in writing. He said that the Nephites were shielded from the more vital parts of the body.² You can't erase engravings in gold so he had to correct and clarify that it was the parts of the body that were shielded, not attacking. I have to read four chapters a day for the next month so I can get through on May 10.³ Hopefully I can do that. If I can today and tomorrow  it will be easier because I will finish Alma. The last half of Alma is the war chapters which I don't like that much. Everyone loves Captain Moroni and the two thousand stripling soldiers (they are soldiers, not warriors)⁴ but reading about building up heaps of earth to protect cities gets tiresome after a while. Once I finish the Book of Mormon I can get back to the Old Testament (I put Proverbs on hold until I get done with the Book of Mormon) which can also get tedious but I haven't read all of it before like I have Alma. 

Speaking of the Old Testament, Duane, our on-date, was telling the bishop that he likes to read a Proverb or a Psalm every day. Elder C. and I looked at each other because we have had many discussions about how we hate Psalms. Can you say overrated? Especially if you read "Praise to the Lord. Selah" over and over again. 

Yesterday in sacrament meeting we sang "Savior, Redeemer of My  Soul." In the program they printed it "Save your Redeemer of My Soul." I also looked in the hymn book and found out that the tune name for "They the Builders of the Nation" is "Beaver." I can just imagine them playing a hymn about pioneers as background music for a documentary about flat-tailed, dam-building mammals. 

We got a list of less-actives and part-member families the bishop wanted us to see and our ward mission leader typed out. There was one named Mitch W. but he typed it Witch W. and we had no idea  what it was supposed to be. The thought of someone being called Witch was so funny to me I even snorted in front of Elder C.

Next week is transfers. I hope our companionship stays the same but I'll find out Saturday. We had interviews this week and President C. told Elder C. we were a good companionship. This week a sister missionary in the other district had to go home for medical reasons and she'll be gone for six weeks to six months. The other sister, Sister G. (the g is soft as in gel), had to come down here and form a threesome in our district while the elders up in Colville take over both areas. Sister G. is the first sister I've seen who's willing to play dodgeball with us.⁵

Well, I can't think of anything else to write so until next week (when I'll know  my future for six more weeks),

Love, 

Elder Melville

1Proverbs 6:6.

2Alma 43:38.

3After Gordon B. Hinckley died, our mission president wanted us to read the Book of Mormon in ninety-seven days.

4Alma 53:22 calls them “stripling soldiers.” “Stripling warriors” occurs nowhere in the Book of Mormon. “Soldiers” is a word we use regularly, but “stripling” is not, so it’s always puzzled me that we keep the word we don’t know, but get rid of the word we do know.

5We would play dodgeball on P-Day, and it was the only sport I liked playing. We wouldn’t play in teams; it was every man for himself. Whenever you got someone out, they would sit down, but if you got out, then everyone you hit would be back in the game. So the game ended when one person got everyone out. I liked this version because I didn’t feel like I was letting everyone down. But sadly, no one ever plays this way. :(

No package to send yet (4/7/08)

I got a full hour today so I don't have to rush.

We are still not permitted to take off our suit coats until it hits around 75 degrees so it may be a while before I get to send my suit home, considering it snowed on Saturday.[1] I'll still have to make do with my holey pants. The holes just lead to the inner lining of the pants, so no one will notice, especially compared to Elder Condie's enormous holes in his pants. We  were teaching the youth on the fifth Sunday and he was sitting on a table. Only later did he realize what pants he was wearing and that he should not have been sitting like that.

I loved conference! I've always had a hard time paying attention and I still did a little bit this conference but I think I picked up more than usual. Part of that might be watching it in a stake center. We could have watched it with the Welshes on the BYU channel but Elder Condie wanted to go to the church building. The favorite part of all the missionaries was when Elder Bednar said the missionaries are the full-time teachers and the members are the full-time finders.[2] I love referrals! The solemn assembly was interesting. I don't remember the conference after President Hunter died (although I do remember the day he died) so I didn't know that's what they did.

President Clark came and interviewed Duane and Vickie and they're good to go for the 26th, when Duane will be off probation.[3] He even wants to come to the baptism. Transfers are in two weeks and I hope I'm not transferred before they're baptized. Not this coming transfer but the next there are eighteen new missionaries coming in and everyone is saying they think I'll train, since President has to get a lot of new zone leaders as well (many of the current ones are going home) and that is a lot of new missionaries. If that is the case, it would probably mean I'll get shipped off to a new area in two weeks, stay with that companion for a transfer, and then train for two (if I stayed in the same area it would be nine months by the time I was done training and that would be a long time). But that is all just speculation. I don't feel qualified to train, although President wrote Elder Condie and told him to give me a lot of responsibility to help me grow.[4]

As for the "unique spirit" thing--I think everyone took that far more seriously than I intended. Sure, that was my interpretation, but I wasn't really offended or anything by it.[5]

I can't believe Allie is going to kindergarten. That's less than five months away. I really can't believe that in less than four months she'll be five--I think she'll be four to me until I come home. And Preston will be three. And Franklin just doesn't exist until I get home.

I can't think of anything else about which to write at the moment.[6] If I think of anything else the next fifteen minutes while I'm here I'll send you another email but nothing might come to me.

Sincerely,

Elder Melville

---

[1] The general rule was that we wore our suit coats between October and April conferences, but not between April and October. But in April, they told us we still needed to wear them longer, but in October, we had to wear them even if it was warm. I thought that was dumb. It should either be a weather thing, or a conference thing, not some arbitrary whim that could change.

[2] I recently cited this talk on my other blog, but in a much different context. Elder Bednar visited my mission when it was almost time for me to go home, and he referenced this talk, saying he heard all the missionaries squeal with delight when he said it.

[3] His probation was extended, and they dropped off and never got baptized.

[4] This was kind of a presumptuous paragraph. I never trained in my entire mission, nor was I a district leader or a zone leader. And when I think of some of the missionaries who did serve in leadership roles, I’m fine with that.

[5] See last week’s post.

[6] “About which to write”—ugh. This is why you don’t teach people that you shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition. That’s false, and it makes awkward phrases like this one.

Late P-Day (4/1/08)

If you're wondering why you're getting this on Tuesday instead of Monday, it is because we went to the temple today. We are only allowed to go on P-day once every three months, but the temple is closed on Monday. Therefore we have to email today. The temple took up a lot of time so I'm short on minutes again today. Elder C. only emails President so he has to wait a while for me. Hopefully next week we can get the full hour again.[1]

I'm going to wait on the package until after Conference. I am sending back my gray suit because both pairs of pants are worn.[2] After Conference  we get to take off our jackets and I'll be in slacks but I can't afford to have only one suit at the moment. I'm concerned about removing the jacket. It hides my obesity.

I also discovered that my camera has a video feature on it so when I send the package you'll get some video clips of me, Elder C., members, and a goofy little  dog.

I think I would like the History of the Church. Getting it sent will be the biggest obstacle, I think. If they have it on CD that would be the most economic but if not paperback would be good.

I got a letter from Bishop Jones with highlights of all the missionaries from our ward. It was good to hear Ryan [last name redacted] sent in his papers. They included excerpts from all the missionaries' letters home. To preface mine they said I charm people with my unique spirit. "Unique spirit" is clearly a euphemism for weirdo--but oh, well.[3]

I hate having such little time to email. Hopefully I really will write snail mail today and I can tell you all the amazing things happening. I'll give you a brief recap--Duane and Vickie's baptism has been postponed because Duane is on probation; some members brought a friend to church and we put her on-date for baptism, only to discover she's not in our ward; and Chelsea, a 15-year-old we taught a little bit, is on date by the elders up in Chewelah (chuh-WEE-luh)!

I hope to give you greater details!

Love, Elder Melville

---

[1] Elder C. was very disobedient, and he refused to write letters on P-Day “because there’s plenty of time to write throughout the week,” and he would even discourage me from writing on P-Day. What a jerk.

[2] This is one experience that has led me not to trust Mr. Mac. The pants of this suit had holes worn on the inside of the thighs, and even the jacket began wearing out after only three months! My mom took the suit back, and the salesman tried to replace it with the same suit. My mom said, “That’s the same suit, it will just wear out again.” He responded, “Well, if you’re a missionary with thunder thighs, that’s going to happen.” Not to mention the fact that they tailored my slacks (not the ones with the suits) literally four inches larger in the waist than they measured me.

[3] My mom often forwarded these emails to other ward members, but apparently she didn’t forward this one because of this “weirdo” comment. The Bishop apologized to her because he didn’t mean it that way. I mostly said it in jest, and I explained that in a later letter.