People talking about me

I find myself surprised when people talk about me when I'm not around. I'm going to remember the times in which I learn that someone talks about me when I'm not there--either by overhearing it or by someone telling me. However, I am not going to remember times in which a relative is involved in the conversation. This is when people who aren't related to me have talked about me.

When I was in sixth grade, I learned that our ward was going to do baptisms for the dead very early one Saturday morning. I determined that if I was to get enough sleep to get up at that time, I would have to go to bed at 6:00 on Friday night. I was telling people that I was going to have to go to bed that early that Friday. Someone asked me if my mom was making me do that, and I said no. Later, someone came up to me and said, "Is it true that your mom makes you go to bed at 6:00 every night?"

In high school, my friend David Christensen was telling me that a bunch of people were talking about seeing a play at Bountiful High, and one of them said they should invite me. (They didn't, though.)

On my mission, there were plenty of times when people talked about me. Before I got transferred to my second area, an elder in the adjoining area told my new companion that in the MTC I had slept with my arms crossed.

In my third area, one P-day I was talking to Sister Shaner in my district. She said that she had met me briefly when they had come to pick up Sister Shinn from Spokane. Sister Shinn, once they were in the car, said to her, "That's Elder Melville. He's so funny. He wants to be a vampire."

When I got my penultimate companion, Elder Warren, he told me that his previous companion, Elder Bates, had told him that I was a real stickler for rules, and that I wouldn't be tolerant of face cards. (Which is false. The "no face cards" thing may be the most idiotic Mormon culture thing ever. Even dumber than blessing donuts.) He had also heard about the vampire thing.

On Thanksgiving in 2009, we were having dinner at our bishop's house. There were some other Church members there, and they asked Elder Tamblyn if he was the one they heard had lost all the weight. But it was me.

Such incidents in college have surprised me most. One Sunday night my first semester, my roommate Jeff Anderson had just come back after being gone for the weekend. I was in bed, but I was still awake. I heard him ask another roommate, Jeff Clegg, if I had been there that weekend. That really surprised me--someone was talking about me when I wasn't around, and it was completely neutral!

I learned that my room-roommate James had complained to Jeff Clegg that I kept looking at him and wondered why I kept looking out the window. That James hated all people, and I was especially awkward at that time. I could have been a better roommate, but I definitely could have used a better one. 

One night during finals week, I had gone to bed, and I heard Jeff Clegg saying we should go to some hot springs in Spanish Fork. He was going to come get us, but Jeff Anderson told him that I had a final the next morning at 7.

That summer, a friend named Lori offered me a ride home after institute. She told me that she had been in a group of people talking, and someone brought me up, and they said they loved me. But I found that doubtful.

In May 2012, some girls dropped off some cinnamon rolls at our apartment. I didn't eat any, because they weren't in season. Shortly thereafter, they came back, and I mentioned that I only eat seasonal desserts. One girl, Hanna, said, "Wait, is that why you didn't eat the cinnamon roll? 'Cause I know you didn't." What had happened, apparently, is that my roommate Cameron told another girl, Carissa, that I didn't eat it, because I "said it wasn't in season." So then Carissa told the other girls, and said, "He said it was because it wasn't in season. It was a joke." But she didn't know that it really wasn't a joke!

Later that summer, another girl, Michelle, texted me, saying that her roommate Ellie said she reminded her of me, because that day she was only eating orange things.

November 2012, when I went to Death Valley, I was talking with a girl named Rachel, and I told her my major was English language. The next day, when we were in the vans, one of my classmates said, "Rachel told me you're an English language major."  (I was glad that the "language" part got transferred and it wasn't just "English.")

Last year, after I had slipped and broke my teeth, I was in bed, but I was having a hard time falling asleep. I kept reliving the fall in my head. My roommate Bryton came in, and since I was awake, I said something to him. He told me that our roommate Scott had just told him what had happened to me.

In December, my roommate Jordan had bought some Christmas socks and had them sitting on the table. My roommate Scott (different than the one I just talked about) pointed them out to me, and I said that I didn't like the penguin ones, because penguins don't have anything to do with Christmas. We had a little conversation about it. Then later, Jordan jokingly said he was offended that I said his penguins couldn't celebrate Christmas.

On December 8, this same Scott had a bunch of people over at our apartment for hot chocolate. One of these people made a comment about my lack of enthusiasm. He said that his roommates David and Ben would always talk about me after ward council. He also heard that I had some picture of a terrible singer--and thus I introduced him to Jan Terri.

Similarly, recently the above-mentioned Ben was talking to me, and he said that Scott had been at his apartment and was telling them about the picture I have of a terrible singer.

Last week, Scott had some people over at our apartment. I was in my bedroom, and I heard one of the guests talking about our Valentine decorations. Scott told her, "Mark is very organized" and said something about my holiday stuff.

On Friday night, there was a tri-stake activity, and I was going to go to it, but when I got there, I couldn't find parking, so I just left, because I didn't want to go that badly. I came home and told Scott. Then later that night, I was in my room and I heard him quoting me to someone else.

Of course, there was this incident that I blogged about recently, and since I don't want to tell it again, I'm just copying and pasting:
" Last semester in my corpus linguistics class, I introduced myself with the interesting fact that I only eat seasonal desserts and candies. This trait fascinated the class, so they kept asking me about it, even to the point that it would eat into my presentation time. Therefore, I created a page on my class website to answer questions about it, but people would still ask me about it before class. At one of the tables at the journal fair on Thursday, there were two girls. One of them had been in that class. Before I left, she offered me some of the Christmas and Valentine candy they had on the table, but then she realized that maybe I couldn't have it. Then the other girl said, "Are you the guy who..." She had heard about me. She thought the other girl had told her about me. But then she asked if I had a website, but the first girl didn't know about that, so then I found out that the second girl had actually heard about me from another girl from that class, a girl who seemed more fascinated by my habits than anyone else was. I explained that it was too late for Christmas candy but too early for Valentine candy, but they told me I could take some Valentine candy to eat later."

The girl who had told her about my habits is part of a student journal I'm working on, and last week she asked me if I was eating Valentine hearts, right before I left. As I was walking out, I heard her telling the editor in chief, "He's a really cool guy, and he only eats..." I looked back at them because I thought it was funny, but I didn't stick around to hear what she said.

Of course, my calling requires people to talk about me. First they had to talk about me to give me the calling, and then people I don't know come up to me to get forms so they can get reimbursed.

I'm sure there have been other times as well. 

I would rather have people talk about me because I only eat seasonal desserts than talk about me because I want to be a vampire.