Drunkards

D.A.R.E. and the Word of Wisdom have made me not want to drink--but my run-ins with drunk people (as well as watching YouTube videos of drunk people doing idiotic things) really made me realize what a bad idea drinking is. And I know that if I drank, I would be a total wine-o and get addicted fast. So no alcyhol for me. Here's why.

My first run-in with a drunk woman happened when I was four or five. There was a woman who was friends with my grandparents, and she had just flown in. My mom says that the flight attendant wouldn't let her leave until she knew someone was taking her, she was so tipsy. She had come in to visit my grandparents, but my grandpa was a bishop, and they were having a meeting at their house. My mom didn't find it fitting to let this woman interrupt a bishop's meeting, so she watched over this woman for a few hours. I remember her asking my mom if she could smoke in the car; she used the cigarette lighter for that very purpose. We went to Burger King for dinner, and we went to a park (my mom says it was for my sake, since it was rather odd for me to be around this drunk lady). When we got out of the car, I remember the woman saying "I'm free!!" (I think in the context of her no longer being in jail). At one point, I came up the hill where the adults were sitting, and I was huffing. The souse mimicked me, and I said, "You're mean!" I don't think it was just that one incident; I think I had felt that way the whole night, and that time was the last straw. Eventually we drove to my grandparents' house, but the meeting was still going on, and my mom wasn't going to let the woman go in.

I can't recall other incidents with drunks until my mission--and then I had a lot of them. One day I was on an exchange, and a guy answered the door. My temporary companion told me he was drunk, but I wasn't able to recognize drunks at that point.

A little later, we began teaching a man named Mark who had no control over his addictions. He smoked and drank excessively, and because of him, I can no longer smell the difference between cigarettes and beer--they're just the same in my mind. He was always drunk when we saw him. Once he wanted us to go over to Borders to buy a book for him. It was Sunday (but we wouldn't have bought it for him anyway), so we told him no, and he said we couldn't come back if we didn't buy it for him. When we met him, he had very long hair and a beard, so Elder Chun offered to clean him up. We took clippers over, and Elder Chun cut his hair. I shaved his beard. We did this while he was drunk. He seemed appreciative of us, but the next time he wasn't happy. His member friend came over, and he complained, "He ****ed up my hair!" (We quit seeing him, but I think he did quit drinking.)

Later I went to East Wenatchee. On the Fourth of July, we passed a woman puking in the bushes.

Soon thereafter, my companion's two years were up, so I was spending time with the adjacent elders until I got my new companion. On P-day we got out of our car to go shopping at Fred Meyer. I don't remember what we were talking about, but there was this lady wearing tight pants and really poofy hair who said to us, "I heard that! Now which one of you is an Indian?" We were all kind of perplexed, because we were not saying anything related to Indians. Then she began to do this weird trot in the opposite direction, and then she stopped, looked up to the sky, and said, "I'm not drunk!" My thought was, "We never said you were, but now that you mention it..." That became a running joke from then on.

Later that summer, my companion and I were walking down the street when we met this guy standing in his yard. He had no shirt on, his smiley-face boxers peeking out at the waist of his loose jeans. He had a younger friend with him wearing a Mighty Mouse shirt (I think the only shirt he owned). I think the smell of alcohol was what gave him away as drunk. We began a gospel conversation with us, and he brought up the passage in the Bible that said "Sun" instead of "Son"; I knew he was talking about Malachi. He became very adamant that we should observe the sabbath on Saturday, not Sunday. He began talking to us loudly and forcefully, and told us "Go, and sin no more!" So we began to leave. But then he invited us back. I began talking with him, while my companion was talking to the friend. Suddenly, he quit talking and looked away, concerned. I looked over, and two policemen were approaching us. Apparently a neighbor had heard him yelling at us. I was appreciative that strangers were concerned about our well-being. This man (Terry was his name) apologized for not having a belt for his pants, and he explained that he was talking loudly because he had a sore throat. I found that an incredibly lame excuse. I didn't feel threatened, but I would have gladly left. Elder Duncan, however, set it up for us to stay. (Terry turned out to be just as crazy when he was sober.)

The following summer, I was serving in Lewiston, ID. One night I was on exchanges, and we talked to this guy who was in his yard. He told us that he didn't need to go to church because his garden was his church. We learned that week in ward council that he was drunk every night (he was married to a less-active member).

We also covered Lapwai, an Indian reservation. Unfortunately, the Indian stereotypes are often true, and one day we were biking down the road when we saw a middle-aged Indian staggering down the sidewalk. Elder Warren (who was half-Indian himself) found it hilarious.

One September day, we were tracting in Lewiston. We began talking to a man who was sitting on his back porch. He was very friendly, but there was a huge pile of empty beer cans next to him. We were talking to him, and he had to keep asking who we were. He told us that the first Christian church was Joseph and Mary and Baby Jesus in the stable. He began "summarizing" the beliefs of different Christian denominations. Lewiston is situated in the Lewis-Clark Valley, so he told us that Lewis and Clark were actually Adolf Hitler and Franklin Roosevelt out exploring together when they were younger. He even remembered who was who. I had the hardest time keeping myself from laughing.

One October Saturday found us in Lapwai again. This guy came up to us, and Elder Tamblyn was wearing sunglasses. He told us that he hated God because God took his son away. He had put his son before God, so God took him away. He told Elder Tamblyn that "a Christian man" shouldn't wear "black eyes" (sunglasses). He kept telling us he wasn't drunk. We told him we would talk to him when he was sober, but he kept insisting he wasn't drunk.

On another occasion, Elder Tamblyn and I went back to the house where I had met the guy who said his garden was his church. The wife was very friendly and invited us in, but her  drunk husband was in the other room, and he kept yelling out unfriendly comments, and they had to shush him. They had an elementary-school-aged son, as well as some other kids. I felt so bad for the wife and kids that they had this loser addict of a husband/father. They were obviously embarrassed by his actions. This family was a prime example of how drinking can ruin lives and families.

I can't recall running into drunks since I've been home--but it might have happened.