2011. I went with my parents to This Is the Place Heritage Park. We walked from the parking lot to the front main building, where we bought tickets and I looked sadly at the candy for sale, knowing none of it was in season. We went and looked in a few buildings. I overheard some teenagers looking at a building and remarking about something being big. I went over and discovered there was a large spider on the brick. There was a building that was an astronomical observatory. Months earlier, during June, my niece's eight-year-old friend Camie came with us to an aquarium, which she kept calling a planetarium. She even said, "Once I went to a pioneer planetarium," so it was fairly obvious she didn't know what planetarium meant. Upon seeing the astronomical observatory, I jokingly remarked that maybe Camie really did mean a pioneer planetarium. There were speakers throughout the park playing instrumental hymns; I recognized some of the recordings from my mission. I was annoyed at all the bees there were in the park. We looked at some more buildings, we stopped in a mill building, and we stopped at a tanner shop. My mom really liked that place; I think there was an alligator skin or something that seemed surprisingly soft. She told of a story of an unpleasant man's skin being tanned after he died since no one liked him. The tanner said he recently got an exotic specimen to tan. We stopped at a little restauranty building where my parents bought a shaved ice, but it was September so it was out of season. We stopped at a little house where I was dismayed at the amount of goatheads. Later we waited for and got on the little tram thing that went around the park. We passed places where they hold weddings and passed the walk commemorating all of Salt Lake's religions. We left and went to Winegar's grocery store. They had a good sale on the 16-oz. Gatorades, so I stocked up, getting flavors I don't usually get. We bought food for the missionaries, who would be eating with us. As we were driving home, we passed a house on Angela Way that already had a Halloween cemetery set up in the yard. When we got home, we had a message from the missionaries that asked if the two missionaries who weren't in our area could come to dinner too, since there was a threesome of missionaries (originally, we were going to pick up the one missionary in our area while the others went to dinner). My mom called them back and said that all three could come. We watched them pull up in front of the house. I answered the door for them and introduced myself. I called one missionary by the name on his tag, but the name on his tag looked a lot like the name of the first missionary who came in, the one who was assigned to our area. While my parents finished preparing dinner, I sat in the living room with the missionaries and my mom called out from the kitchen to them to answer typical questions: "Where are you from and how long have you been out?" I called out to her, "No, you don't ask that question, it's either under a year or over a year." I intended that to mean for her to drop the question, but instead she just modified it to really mean "over a year or under a year." The first missionary to respond said over a year, the second said well over a year, and the third said under a year. This under-a-year one was from Utah. I said I was surprised someone from Utah would be called to Utah, and they told me it happened more than you might expect. We talked about my job, and I told them that I worked at the Distribution Center, and one elder said, "I had an investigator who worked there," but I figured he didn't know what I was talking about because you need to be a member to work there. I noticed the elder assigned to our area glance at the Christina Perri CD that was lying near the stereo. We discussed the Ogden mission and how parts of it were in Idaho and Wyoming. Then dinner was done and the five of us sat at our little dining room table. I didn't know if the elders had noticed all of the food, since I think some of it was a little separate from the others. One of the elders complimented Utah corn. I think my mom mentioned that her family converted. At one point I asked my dad, "Didn't you have to go tracting on your mission to find places to stay?" My mom hadn't even heard that story. The older elders kept referring to the younger one by name, which didn't match his tag, and my mom realized that the tag and his name didn't match. I said to the missionary of our area, "Let me guess: They spelled your name wrong," and that was indeed the case, so he let the younger one use the misspelled tag. After dinner they gave a lesson in the living room. I told our elder that if he needed someone to go team teaching, I was available afternoons and evenings. He said he was going to ask before I mentioned it, and he took my number. (He never did end up calling me.) I think I finished some strawberry Gatorade. At some point that day, I wrote on my former companion Derek Warren's Facebook page, since he claimed Labor Day was his favorite holiday.
2010. In the morning I went with my parents to downtown Salt Lake City to see the construction. (I guess that's my parents' idea of a fun day...) We went to Temple Square and saw the scale model of the temple. As we were leaving Temple Square, there was a panhandler holding a sign quoting from Mosiah 4 about giving to the poor. Then we walked around all the construction. I think we passed the Deseret News, Deseret Book, and some place called Blue Lemon or something like that. Then we went to Winegar's. I wanted to look over in the seasonal section, and I was surprised to find that M&Ms no longer made Halloween-colored candies; they had switched to fall colors. On our way home we passed a house on Angela Way that had green, orange, and purple decorations in a decorative tree near the front door; I wondered if they were Halloween bats. I was picking apricots when my cousin Jesse texted me about going to Antelope Island. I was reluctant to go. Then later Sue called the house and my mom told her they should come get me. So my mom pushed me into changing my mind. It was Sue, Quin, Peter, Jesse, and Lisa. As we were driving, Peter was talking about how it would be hard to find a job (we were both searching for jobs at this time). I told him he actually had more job experience than I did, but he said that I had graduated from high school. As we drove to Antelope Island, Lisa wanted to look at the mission pictures on my camera. I told them about my wicked companion, Elder LaPratt, who fulfilled Roald Dahl's observation that a person with ugly thoughts becomes ugly. I asked them to guess which one it was.
Jesse at first incorrectly guessed Elder Hinebaugh (closest to me), but his second guess was correct, the hideous LaPratt the fourth from the right. Jesse said he liked in this picture how I was away from everyone else. He asked me about the girl who can't write who always likes everything I put on Facebook; that was Katelyn Heath, whose baptism pictures were on the camera. We finally drove down the causeway to the island. We were driving down the road when we saw a black figure ahead. We wondered if it was rocks, but as we got closer we determined it was a buffalo. Then we went to the museum place. Jesse was amused by the 1950s-era pinup picture. We liked the old truck and the old basketball hoop on the building. Lisa took pictures of Jesse on the fake animal, and I did too:
Peter and I followed a trail that went in circles. We looked in a pioneer storage cellar, where there was a cat spider hanging. Lisa didn't care for the spider. I told the Thompsons how the last time I had been there Allie had hopped on the stepping stones in the grass one at a time. We went to a hill that I hiked up a good ways; Peter said I could go a lot further than they could. It was a bit chilly and I remarked how exciting it was that it was cool; Sue and Jesse did not share my enthusiasm. As we were driving away, Lisa took some pictures of a buffalo on the side of the road. In the van we listened to the Beatles (Quin was singing along to a lot of the songs, including "The Word"), and after one CD was over, they put in the album 1. As "From Me to You" was playing, I told them how I got that CD for my birthday in 2004 so I always associated that song with Halloween. We talked about how McDonald's had previously had their deal on tons of chicken nuggets and that Peter ate a lot of them. Sue asked me about what lane she needed to be in to get off at North Salt Lake. Then they dropped me off and I think they briefly said hi to my mom. 2009. Despite our P-day usually being on Monday, and despite the fact that it was the day before transfers, our mission president made this a work day. We were skeptical of more people being home, since everyone would be out on the Snake and Clearwater rivers, so we walked around to hope to catch people outside and probably didn't work as hard as we should have. We were walking on Burrell Ave. when we saw a fountain coming from the swimming pool on Airway Ave. We cut across the fairgrounds to see what was going on; we were surprised to see they were draining the pool, even though Lewiston still had summer-like weather. We saw a lady in her garden and we talked to her; she was Chinese and didn't speak much English, so she went around back to get her sister. We told her not to bother but she did anyway; her sister was Catholic and not interested. I went home and washed some dishes, with the idea that Elder Warren would pack, but I don't think he did. I think we parked our car at the church and we went and saw a potential investigator in a cul-de-sac; I can't remember whether that was the day they were finally home. Then we went back and drove to have dinner with Bishop Palmer; I think their peeping-Tom pastor neighbor was in his backyard sunbathing, and we had dinner in the backyard. Elder Warren talked about meeting Texans, that he would say, "Hi, I'm Derek," and they would say, "Hi, I'm from Texas." Then we went inside and Sister Palmer asked about first names. Bishop pointed out that Elder Warren had already revealed his. Sister Palmer remembered that I had said I wouldn't tell them even if they asked; I would give a fake name. She said, "You look like a Brian." I said no, and Elder Warren said, "It's closer than Jeremiah."
2008. I woke up and I was so excited it was September (September 1) that I changed Elder Duncan's calendar while he was eating breakfast. When he discovered it (I don't remember if he noticed or if I told him) he got mad and changed it back to August so that he could change it to September. Then Elder Moench and Elder Dobbins picked us up; that might have been the day Elder Moench was wearing a very nice sweater, and he said, "An anti-Mormon gave it to me," explaining that it was the mother of a girlfriend who subtly tried to bribe him not to go on a mission. We went to the church and stood outside the family history center, waiting for it to be opened. I was excited that it was slightly chilly. Once we were inside, I wrote the following email:
"I am SO relieved the abysmal month of August has died. The year will no longer seem as bland and uncomfortable.
"I don't think I ever told you but I do get emails on holidays now because we email at the Family History Center so we just have a member open it up.
"Last night we had dinner with the Raabs. Sister Raab told me Allie was very cute and she was looking at them in awe because they had just left my presence. I don't know; that's just what she said. It's so weird for me to think of her being five. She'll be four to me until I get back. Just like Preston will always be three.
"So yesterday I had an unfortunate experience. We were riding down Baker, a semi-main road, and the portion we were on has no bike lane, but there are parking spaces. I hate to ride in the road, so I usually ride in the parking spaces and meander up to the sidewalks when a car is ahead and the curb is low. Yesterday there were cars parked and a person in the road so I didn't want to go out, so I went on the sidewalk, and I couldn't get back on the road because of the cars. A garbage can was on the sidewalk, and there was only a small passage between it and a fence. I'd biked past before, nudging the can, so I thought I'd try it again. But this time I did more than nudge it, and I crashed. Some people were driving by and they stopped to see if I was fine, which I was. But my bike is not in the best shape now; it locks up in first and second gear, and I don't want to try our hills in third gear. I'm taking it to the bike shop today. I hope they can fix it, or I may be in trouble. Hopefully it doesn't come down to a new bike--or a permanent third gear bike. As it is, it will probably not be too cheap to get it fixed. Oh, well; that's the reason I got a job before my mission.
"And walking home after that incident it did start to rain, and I didn't bring my new umbrella, although Elder Duncan brought his. I got pretty wet; my planner's a little warped, and after dinner I had to change my shirt (I had a wet shirt for dinner). But I was just glad it was raining. Rain in this area is unusual. It doesn't happen very often, and, while back home it is less common for there to be rain and sun, it is almost always sunny while it rains here. I don't think I've ever seen a completely gray sky here; there's always a patch of blue somewhere. The clouds that make it across the mountains disperse as they cross the river. It's been partly cloudy frequently lately, but it hasn't rained much.
"I can't think of anything else to say...I thought of something else I might like. In 2006 when I was a vampire for the first time we got a special polishing tool for some old shoes of mine. I'm running low on my polish, and I think that was an easier tool, so I would like that if you can find it in the bathroom closet.
"Love,
"Elder Melville"
After doing our errands, we went to Subway for lunch with the two other elders. We discussed physical appearances; I said that Elder Moench looked like a vulture (he realized it was because of his nose), Elder Dobbins looked like a bear, and Elder Duncan looked like a koala. The other companionship wanted to hike Saddle Rock in Wenatchee, and Elder Duncan did too. I didn't want to but I didn't want to prevent everyone else from doing it. So we drove over to Wenatchee and parked on a road to hike. I brought clothes to change into but it would be a hassle to change in the car, so I just changed my shoes. Some of the others wore their "pross" shoes. I took my backpack, but I don't know why--maybe to hold water and a camera (I would certainly be glad to have free hands later). We were walking along a path when Elder Duncan got a phone call. When he was done, he told me it was a member from another ward giving us a referral of one Russell Pipkin. This Russell Pipkin was actually a less-active member we had been trying to contact for some time, but we had no idea where Hummingbird Road was. We learned from this phone call that it was on Badger Mountain. I don't think the member knew Russell Pipkin was a member. Since we were low on P-day hours, Elders Moench and Dobbins discovered a different path. They told us it was steep then, but that it would flatten out and we would go faster. Their plan to have us go faster ended up backfiring. Some of the hiking got a little tricky, and in my mind I was thinking about finding a sure footing, and the word sure in my head made me think of Isaiah 22:23 where it talks about a nail in a sure place. The shortcuts we took did not end up taking us to another place on the path. Rather they led us straight up the mountain. It was very scary, but it was scarier to go down than it was to go up--so up we went. We had to use our hands and feet because it was so steep. I felt bad that Elder Dobbins was helping Elder Duncan up, when he was my companion. Elder Moench was ahead of all of us. Eventually we came to a sea of shale (I didn't know it was shale, but looking back that's probably what it was) that would slide down as we stepped on it. Elder Moench discovered some slight switchbacks someone had made previously, and he attempted to make some more for the rest of us. Then he reached a place where plants were growing. He alerted us that it was a lot easier once we got to the plants. It was true: The root systems were better steps than the shale, and the plants themselves served as handles. Eventually we made it to the top, and we were all relieved. It was agreed: We would never do that again. We followed the real path at the top to the saddle, where we took pictures. We wanted to do ones like the "O Jerusalem" picture, so I sat like I remembered Jesus sat in that painting, but Elder Duncan told me I needed to put my hand to my face:
I later learned that I had been right and he was wrong. They also took pictures about proclaiming the gospel. Then we started our descent, this time on the trail. Elder Duncan and Elder Moench talked and I walked with Elder Dobbins. I noticed something on the trail and I said, "That's a weird thing to find," and Elder Dobbins said, "Someone's boxers." We passed some people who were looking for their son who had climbed but gotten out of sight. They asked if we had seen him, but we hadn't. I think we helped look briefly before we left. Then we got off the mountain but the trail had taken us far from where we had parked. I felt pretty self conscious, being in my pross and my non-pross shoes, and we weren't in our area. As we got to the car, I made sure to take a picture to show where we had climbed. (We climbed up that streak of gray in the middle of the picture.) 
Then Elder Duncan and I ate dinner that someone had dropped off for us. I think we told Sister Knighten (whom we lived with) about our adventure. We agreed not to mention our hike when we called the district leader, since we had finished after P-day had ended, and because mountain climbing is against the rules in the white handbook (even though we were accidental mountain climbers). I wrote in my journal that night:"I am very tired. I didn't want to hike today; I didn't think we had enough time. And I wasn't too keen on shortcuts. It turns out there was a reason it was the road less traveled. We mounted straight up Saddle Rock. It was scary--gravelly footing and rocky handholds that broke, then pure loose rocks with small, brief switchbacks, which eventually led to dry brush, which were good as handholds and steps. It was good at the top, but it was very scary blazing our own trails, where the ground slipped beneath our feet, we set miniature rockslides, and turning back down was more dangerous than continuing the ascent. But we're all safe now. We got back late and my feet are sore. Rock climbing's against the rules, and humans weren't meant to walk on hands."
2007. I had to work. A woman asked me to cut some meat for her, and she was wearing a shirt with the Peanuts characters in front of a background of fireworks. I told her, "I have that exact shirt," and she seemed unimpressed. I was wondering why a woman was wearing a man's Fourth of July shirt on Labor Day.
2006-1995. Unfortunately, I don't remember specific details. These years are characterized by leaving our tent trailer in Fillmore for the winter, having departed from usually Pistol Rock but occasionally Shingle Mill campgrounds in Fillmore Canyon. I was sometimes sad to leave the trailer for the winter.
1994. My intuition tells me this happened in 1993, but some of the details I remember indicate that it was 1994. After camping, we were driving in Salt Lake with the oldies station on; it was playing "Sealed with a Kiss" by Bobby Vinton. (I actually don't specifically remember that; I just know that when I would later hear that song, I would remember this incident.) We stopped at a small store (I think a boutique thing) that had Halloween decorations. There was a skull candle and some small plush black cats that my cousin Martha (I think) had stick to my ear. I don't know if it was magnetic or if it stuck by static.
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