That Easter Morn (4/6/09)

Conference was excellent. I especially liked President Uchtdorf's Priesthood talk and Elder Holland's talk on the Atonement. Conference weekend is always special for a missionary. Sadly, I only have one more. I had a dream the other night that it was my last day in the mission field (it was different in the dream; you went proselyting in the morning and went home later in the day). It was very depressing. But then in the dream I was talking with a sister who came out with me, and since she wasn't home yet, I realized that it wasn't time for me, either, and I was relieved when I woke up that I still have eight months. Even so, eight months is a depressingly short time. Last night we were visiting a less-active member, and when I told her how long I'd been out she said, "Oh, you're almost going home." She was still under the impression that missions were eighteen months. I'm glad they're not!

This week was snowy and rainy. On Thursday we awoke to about two inches of snow. Yesterday and today have been quite pleasant. I will admit that sunny days can be nice, but that doesn't change the fact that sunlight makes me nervous.
The general tradition is that we get to take our jackets off at general conference, but our district leader told us not yet, which is what President Clark said last year. But our adjoining district didn't get such information. With the temperatures it's supposed to get we should be able to take them off, according to what happened last year, but my zone and district leaders last year were a lot more human than the ones I have now, and I fear that I may be sweating profusely in my suit because of them. The slacks you sent me do fit but they need to be hemmed, and the ones I already had really need to be tailored. So my choices will be legs that are too long and bunch up at the ankle, or a waist that sags beneath my belt (which, by the way, it probably won't be too long before I need to buy a new one) and gives me the appearance of a balloon. From what I have been able to find, the only place that tailors charges $10 a pair, and considering that all my suit pants and my slacks need to be taken in, I'm not sure I want to fork it over. I may just do the slacks and wait on the suits until I can find a cheaper place. Fortunately, usually when I have suit pants on I have my jacket on which hides the loose waist. Last year I liked how my jackets hide my fatness. I don't have to worry so much now since my pants fit me better (Mr. Mac's tailoring job when I came out left everything too big even before I lost all the weight I have). Right now my CTR ring won't stay up right--maybe I'm losing weight in my fingers.

Easter is this Sunday. I worry about it because we haven't received special instructions for it. I had an investigator once accuse us, saying, "You don't knock on doors on Christmas or Easter, right?" I do fear what we will do that won't make people angry.  Hopefully a lot of members will invite us over. With Conference this weekend, no one has yet.

I still would like an extra memory card for when I am ready to send mine home, since I don't have one to replace it yet. If it is sent before May 28[1] I might also like some extra music. Elder K. really likes choral music, which is fine, but it would be nice to have some variety. Some LDS artists that I know are good include Hilary Weeks, Mindy Gledhill, and Jessie Clark Funk (I don't know why they're all women), and some EFY music can be good. It doesn't matter too much to me (you can send others), as long as it's different than typical choir music. But don't worry about it too much. I don't need any more possessions sent to me after May 28 because that is the point I need to start sending more stuff home than I get. Once all the snow piles are gone (a few small ones still reside in shadier parts of our area), I will send my boots home, because then I will be fairly confident that we are out of the woods with snow, or if it does snow, it probably won't amount to enough to necessitate boots.

I loved the Allie story.[2] She is so much more adult than when I left. I was glad last week she still considers herself as living with me,[3] considering I haven't seen her for over a year (and she seemed rather desirous to leave the MTC, for some reason).[4]

Love,

Elder Melville

---

[1] May 28 was my eighteen-month mark.

[2] My mom wrote: “I have a pretty funny Allie story.  Yesterday she was riding with Matt and Susanne and just out of the blue she asked when they were going to break up.  Nan assured her that she had no plans to break up and asked why the question.  Allie said because Joey and Chancey broke up with their girlfriends.  After they got home Allie started bargaining with Matt.  She promised him she would get him another ferret if he wouldn't break up with her.  How do they get these ideas?  But she also told her mom she didn't want her to marry Matt because she wants them to live in their own apartment again.”

[3] The previous week, my mom wrote: “I also have a quick Allie story.  In primary they have been talking about families (that is the theme for this year).  Laura A. has been working hard on presenting all the different kind of families, not just the traditional two-parent home.  She has talked a bit about how Austin grew up with his grandparents just like Allie.  Yesterday they were talking again and she asked Allie if she wanted to talk about her family.  Allie declined but said Laura could talk about it.  Laura was saying that Allie lived with her mom and grandparents.  Allie stopped her and said, ‘Don't forget my uncle,  I live with my uncle, too.’  I thought you would appreciate that.”

[4] When my family dropped me off at the MTC, Allie asked her mom if they could leave.

April is almost here (3/30/09)

I'm glad Elder L. dropped by.[1] It was sad to part with History of the Church but it will be nice to have more space in my suitcase (especially since HC is pretty heavy). I also sent that sudden package off since I don't need that green shirt anymore now that I have no more St. Patrick's Days. It is depressing that on Saturday I hit sixteen months and I only have one more third of my mission. It is somewhat inconvenient that I go home in November because I don't know how much of my winter clothes I will need. This year it didn't snow significantly until December. I think my boots are the only thing I know I will send home before next winter. But it keeps snowing up here--we woke up to about an inch yesterday and today--so I'm waiting a little longer to send them off. We did officially get record-breaking snow up here (I'm assuming Coeur d'Alene area but maybe also Spokane) this year, which we hit yesterday or Saturday. I think the last record was the winter of 1959-60.

It's funny you should talk about getting a new countertop.[2] Yesterday our ward's fifth Sunday lesson was all about being thrifty. I just find it ironic that countertops was one of the things the bishop casually mentioned as an example of something people think they need but it's just a want. I have worried about getting home because I didn't have that much money in my account and a mission is expensive even without what we already pay.

The Church is significantly cutting back on expenses. The Ritzville branch was supposed to get an expansion this year but now it's on hold. Which isn't a good thing, because they barely had room in the chapel when I was there. My companion Elder W. was telling me that they're trying to see if they can use a trailer as an extra classroom because the building is too small.

This is also interesting because this week I had the opportunity to go up to Wallace, ID. There is a branch up there that has shrunk significantly over the years and now there are only about twenty active members. But their branch building (which still has a very 1970s look to it) is significantly larger than the branches I served in, even though they had higher attendance. Wallace was a nice area. Since I'm in the blackhole of the mission, I wouldn't mind being here one more transfer after this one, then going up and killing off the missionary up there now, and then die myself up there. We went up there to help the members go see a bunch of less-active members and part-member families.

There was a big fiasco with that. The activity had been planned for weeks and the two sets of missionaries that were supposed to go up I guess determined they couldn't do it. They were the other members of the Hayden district. So the Kellogg/Wallace missionaries called us up and asked if we could help, so we agreed. Then my district leader called me and told me not to do it, but I didn't feel like he had a good reason other than that I should work in my own area. Then my zone leader also called and told me not to. But I didn't feel they had any good reason to tell us not to. We live with the high councilor over the branch up there and he called up my zone leader and got us to go up there. It was good; I somewhat felt like my leaders were exercising unrighteous dominion over us.[3]

We put a ten-year-old on date for baptism this week but they didn't show up to church. We need to make it clear to them that he must come several times before the baptism occurs.

I know I had more to tell you but I can't think of it right now.

Love,

elder mellvie[4]

---

[1] My mom wrote, “Elder Love and his parents came last night.  They were very nice and it was fun to visit with them.  Elder Love was not a big talker so we didn't hear enough about you....but it was nice.”

[2] My dad wrote, “Your parents are crazy, if you don't already know.  We are going to spend thousands on countertops.  Hopefully we'll recover from our folly before too long.”

[3] I often felt that mission leaders let power go to their heads, and they told us to do things or not do things just because they could. The zone leader called and asked, “How’s your area doing?” He told me I should work in our own area, since it wasn’t doing great. But we had already tracted it out and contacted everyone in the area book. One night out of our area was not going to hurt it.

[4] My niece wrote, “i love u  elder mellvie.”

Blackhole d'Alene Zone (3/23/09)

Thanks for the package. It will be nice to have pants that actually fit and hopefully they look better than last year. I think my shirts may still look big but at least the pants won't. (The shirts only look big because I'm big--but this week I got to weigh myself and I think I am officially about fifty pounds lighter than the night before I left.)

Thanks also for the Easter candy. I gave the Oreos away but I'm still chowing down on the chocolate. Also thanks for the music. I love the Cherie Call CD--it's upbeat enough to be fun to listen to but it's still nice and mellow.[1]

This week I hit sixteen months. I figure once I hit eighteen I can get no more possessions because anything I send home I need to have room for what I already have. My past companion Elder L. went home today and a member up here (in another ward, one he served in) is taking a bunch of his stuff down to Utah this coming weekend. He called and asked if I needed to send anything. So, it is with great sadness that I will send away my History of the Church. It will get to his place this weekend and shortly he will probably come by and drop HC off. (His grandparents live in NSL.) I've learned a lot from the History so I will be sad to lose it, but I've had it for almost a year now and it is heavy to put in a suitcase. And this is an ideal way to send it because I don't have to pay for shipping. (Just like how it came up here!)

Elder L. spent a lot of time in Idaho. So did Elder Br. Judging from their experiences I had already determined that Idaho is the blackhole of the mission--once you go there it's hard to get out. I think I've dodged it for long enough, but if you get here early in your mission you can expect to be here a while.

Originally, there was a Hayden district consisting of five companionships. Then they opened up a new area back in October which made it six. More recently they split it into two districts of three--the Hayden district, and the Lakeland district, which is where I am, but basically it's still one district--we go to the same district meetings and geographically we are closer to the Hayden district, so we are more likely to see them on P-day than the members of our own district. Many members of our district(s) have been in other areas of the district(s).

Considering the pattern of this area, it is not surprising that my new companion isn't going far. He is upgrading from the Hayden 3rd ward (which seems to be one of the biggest participants in the blackhole pattern) to the Hayden 4th ward. He is technically changing districts but he is moving one area over. His name is Elder K. and I am momming him.[2] His first two areas adjoin each other. It was weird yesterday to see him at church. He doesn't even get a change of ward buildings.

Elder Be. is going to the North Spokane district, which is the same district as I started my mission. He will be with Elder M., with whom I shared the car in East Wenatchee and saw almost every day.

This week it got pretty warm. I haven't been wearing my coat as often, although yesterday it was pretty rainy and we woke up to a dusting of snow. It's still pretty cold for the time of year, though, but I like unseasonable weather. We've been biking regularly now and I'm still getting better. It's so much easier to bike here.

I don't know if you recall, but I tend to get depressed annually--I call it my "March depression"--from about the time between Valentine's Day and Easter, climaxing just before St. Patrick's Day. During this time sad things are sadder and normal things become sad. I did not feel this until this weekend, and then only mildly, and I think the cold was in large part responsible for thwarting it. The early DST might have also helped. (I don't know if you've known about this or not, but it's happened almost every year since I was eleven, and my councilor didn't even have an idea why it happens.)

From my experiences with Elder K. on P-days and district meetings I like him. If I am correct he is from Las Vegas. It seems most missionaries are from Utah, then Arizona, then Vegas--not Nevada as a whole, just Las Vegas. It somewhat makes sense, since it was founded by Mormons.[3]

On Sunday I will be twenty and a half. Last night I called Elder D., who's been out three transfers longer than I. He received his "trunky papers," the preliminary forms for going home, and he told me that by the time he goes home I will have mine. If I am with Elder K. for two transfers, which is what I expect, I will make my last phone call from this area. I probably only have one more area. I feel really, really old.

And this week I had a dream that [my cousin] Peter died of a heart attack. I received the news shortly before I was biking up a steep hill in East Wenatchee with my new sister companion. (For some reason, when I was in Ritzville my thoughts kept reverting to Mead, but here they keep reverting to Wenatchee. In my next area they'll probably revert to Ritzville.)

Love,

Elder Melville

---

[1] Cherie Call’s album He Gives Flowers to Everyone. I have been a fan for ten years now!

[2] I was his second companion.

[3] Ehh…now I know this isn’t completely true. Mormon pioneers did establish a community at Las Vegas in the 1850s, but it was abandoned. Then other people rebuilt it later. Today’s Las Vegas was not founded by Mormons.

Happy St. Patrick's Day (3/16/09)

Yes, it is all right for you to send my package straight to our house, because it will probably arrive this week.[1] Transfers are next week, but I don't expect to be transferred, since Elder B.'s already been here four months and I'm his third companion here. There's a good possibility he's leaving, but we would be very surprised if I left. The last package you sent arrived just in time. It arrived on Saturday. If it hadn't, it wouldn't have come on Sunday, of course, and Sunday night was when I left Ritzville, since we had to go be with a missionary whose companion went home.

Yesterday I spoke in sacrament meeting as well. It's only the second time I've spoken on my mission. I thought it was one of the most boring talks I've given--the information was good but it didn't have much personality.

I was assigned to speak on the Book of Mormon. Perhaps it was the broad topic that caused it to be boring.

I started off talking about the first four books of the New Testament. The closing verses of Matthew[2] and Mark[3] talk about missionary work, and Luke ends talking about the temple.[4] I read the last verse of John, which talks about how if everything Jesus did were written there wouldn't be room for all the books that should be written.[5]

I transitioned to how the Book of Mormon accomplishes many tasks, but the one it specifically sets out to do is given in the title page, to convince Jew and Gentile that Jesus is the Christ. I gave examples from all fifteen books of the BoM on how they fulfill this purpose.

Then I talked about what Preach My Gospel says about the Book of Mormon--it supports the Bible (and read about Jesus' baptism and in 2 Nephi 31 where it explains about "to fulfill all righteousness," and explained that the BoM identifies the brazen serpent as a type of Christ), it answers great questions of the soul, it draws people nearer to God, and we are to use it in handling objections to the Church.

I mentioned converts of about nine years from my first area. The wife knew Gordon B. Hinckley was a prophet because she knew the Book of Mormon was true. The husband knew the BoM was true because he knew Gordon B. Hinckley was a prophet. Then I bore my testimony I know it's true because I know Joseph Smith was a prophet.

I got a lot of compliments, but as I said, I felt it was pretty boring.

This week was really cold. It got into the single digits. It did warm up for the end of the week, though, but then it rained. Last night was really windy.

On Wednesday Elder B. felt a little under the weather, so he just slept during dinner time. I ate minimally for some reason. But it worked out just fine. We went to go see a less-active who let us in, and she was just making dinner, so she invited us to stay. She's not interested in the Gospel (the first thing she said to us was, "We're fornicators"), but she's fine with us as missionaries. She was raised FLDS but left it at 15, then joined the LDS. That's the second time on my mission that's happened--that we didn't eat dinner and then the people we see invite us for it. In fact, I think the only times I've had people other than active members invite us for dinner when we just show up were those two times when we hadn't eaten.

I liked your inspiration story.[6]

Um...I can't think of anything else right now.

Love,

Elder Melville

---

[1] My mom’s email had asked if she could send a package direct to where we lived.

[2] “Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”

[3] “And they went forth, and preached every where, the Lord working with them, and confirming the word with signs following. Amen.”

[4] “And were continually in the temple, praising and blessing God. Amen.”

[5] “And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.”

[6] My mom’s email had an inspiringa story where she acted on a prompting.

Why is the sky so white and drear...Only because it's spring? (3/9/09)

[1]We have been on our bikes a lot more lately which means we can go more places faster. But on Friday and Saturday it got really cold and windy. I never really knew how hard it is to bike against the wind. It didn't get that windy in East Wenatchee. On Saturday we did start walking a little bit and then it hailed (fortunately we got inside just before that started) but we were back on our bikes later. It is nice having a new bright light for my bike. But yesterday we woke up to a few inches of snow. It is snowing as I speak (or rather write). I had wondered if I'd send my boots home once March came around but I'm going to wait with the way things are going.

Last winter it didn't get as cold as this year (we've heard tomorrow should be a low of 2) but I didn't use a lot of things I got for this winter. I didn't have thermals (I only had one pair of thermal garments, which I could only wear once a week and which are hardly warm at all), I didn't have a sweater (I think it looks kind of classy but it's boring if you have a nice tie), I didn't have boots (and we did get a lot of snow last year), and I didn't have a hat (although I'm usually fine without a hat as long as I have my earmuffs, and the hat the member gave me doesn't keep my ears that warm).

I think I use fewer commas than I used to...

I had a dream the other night that I was home but I was still a missionary. I was playing with Allie but I told her that technically I wasn't allowed to because we're not allowed to have kids on our laps or tickle them (or change diapers, which is not a problem to me!). Another missionary was there and he used an inappropriate word and you told him if he said it again you'd do something with your Relief Society president authority. I was surprised that you hadn't told me you were RSP. I think you'd freak out if you really were called. I also dreamt President Monson died.

This week I read some wonderful passages from the scriptures. Ephesians 4 and 5 were both really good (although I can't recall what I liked about them right now--I just know I liked them). Philippians 4 is another good one and verse 8 is the inspiration behind the thirteenth Article of Faith (which is my favorite A of F). James 3:1-13 is another wonderful passage and talks about how we need to keep our conversations clean because some saints have good and bad things come out of the same mouth, but saltwater and freshwater don't come out of the same fountain, etc.

If I were to read a book a week now for the rest of my mission I will have read all of the Standard Works while on my mission. I started doing this a while ago but then I slacked off. So I want to keep it going. I've already been through the Book of Mormon, Esther through Malachi, and Matthew through Philippians. The epistles of Peter and John, Moses, Abraham, etc., won't be hard, but Doctrine and Covenants (which I'm trying to get a head start on), Genesis, etc., will be harder, especially since I have my own scripture dictionary for names that aren't already defined.[2] If I do do one a week for the rest of my mission I'll barely finish. I'm going to do Colossians through Revelation, then Doctrine and Covenants and Official Declarations, then the Pearl of Great Price, then Genesis through Nehemiah.

Since you're doing the Biggest Loser,[3] my goal (which I've already decided) is to be below 200 pounds by the time I get home.[4] Since the last time I checked two or three weeks ago, that's only ten pounds, and I've already lost forty on my mission, and that was in areas that had a car at least part of the time, so I think I'll be able to make it in nine months. I'm also refusing a lot more unhealthy things and try not to eat any candy or desserts unless it's a relevant holiday food. (I don't always, though, because it does get awkward to decline stuff from members in certain situations.)

I didn't see the Church News for March 7 but I saw it for February 28 where the picture is of President Palmer. That was nice to see. He's young (although I don't know President Clark's age). I don't care for the writing style of the Church News but I will look at it occasionally, especially when it vitally concerns me or someone I know.

Um...I can't think of anything else to say.

Love,

Elder Melville

---

[1] My email title came from the song “Because It’s Spring” from the Children’s Songbook, which says, “Why is the sky so blue and clear? . . . Only because it’s spring!”

[2] If a name was in the scriptures but didn’t have an entry in the Bible Dictionary, or if it wasn’t defined in the index to the Triple Combination, I would put it in my scripture dictionary. But I think I might have abandoned this by the end of my mission because it took too much time.

[3] My dad’s email said, “Allison's favorite TV  show is biggest loser. This week Susanne your Mother and I plan on weighing ourselves. Then each week for ten weeks we will weigh ourselves and then after ten weeks the one that loses the most will get a reward. I hope it works.”

[4] I weighed 190 when I got home.

March has arrived (3/3/09)

This past week it snowed again, but the last few days we've mostly had rain. With more snow melting we pulled out our bikes. Let me tell you, it is so nice to have a flat area--no steep rides every time we want to get home. The other morning we were going down the road and it was raining lightly. I wouldn't like heavy rain, but I would have killed for such a day biking in 105 degree weather this past summer. I will probably be here until June or maybe July, and I think Wenatchee's one of the hottest areas of the mission, so this year shouldn't be as bad. Unless I get sent to Lewiston or Clarkston to finish the summer, since I've heard those are infernally hot.[1] I can handle cold. I can walk around in -4 degrees (as long as the wind's not blowing, and I'm bundled up) but you get above 90 and I'm miserable. In the 50s is the ideal temperature for me.

I do have some requests. I am preparing to send home (I'm not sure how soon) a memory card, but I don't have one to replace it. So I need another memory card. I'm planning on sending home a green T-shirt you sent me last year once St. Patrick's Day is over. I was also wondering if you could look up an LDS artist for me named Cherie Call. I've liked some of the music of hers I've heard, especially a song called, "It Passes All My Understanding," but I don't know if she has her own albums or not.[2] I also like the Christian artist Michelle Tumes (but you're not likely to find those artists in the same stores unless it's online). I also pulled out my CD player. I would like something with which to plug it in, and I also need AA batteries. Since I have fizzled out in sending things non-electronically I will give you my current address:

[address redacted]

For two weeks I had Elder Be. believing that my name was Jeremiah. It was spoiled when he saw the bottom of the CD player.[3] I played dumb, but then he saw it again on my suitcase, so the next day when he questioned me I couldn't play the game anymore. I wonder how long I can get my next companion.

With biking now I had to get a taillight for my bike--$20--and then the headlight I had (which was a hand-me-down from Elder Br. and wasn't the brightest) broke. So I'm going to have to fork over another $30 for that when we can make it to the bike shop again (which is one of the few things in our own area).

This week we were feeling somewhat discouraged about our area while we were tracting but one lady let us right in. She had been praying for help from God and we showed up. She even came to church (which no one EVER does) when we got her a ride and she's been reading from the Book of Mormon. She liked church (we were worried it would be a weird testimony meeting) and when I talked to her on the phone today she said she's still thinking if she wants to join our church, which we hadn't really mentioned. Her grandfather was a member but was excommunicated for moonshining during Prohibition.[4]

We went to the temple today (you may have guessed that). They showed the old video which I haven't seen since I got my own endowments.[5]

Um, I can't think of anything else I need to write about at the moment. I feel guilty that I'm a lazy letter writer and write random stuff and none of it flows or transitions well. But I don't think you care.

Love,

Elder Melville

Oh, I forgot

We will likely be shedding our jackets in a month, and I only have one pair of slacks. I will need some more. The problem is I don't know if I'm size 34 or 36. I'm more inclined to say I'm a 34 now, but it's hard to comprehend me being that size.[6] That's basically the only reason I question. A missionary left some 34 jeans at our place and I put them on and they fit. Putting stuff in the pockets is a little tight, but I think jeans are usually tighter anyway.

We get free dry-cleaning here and they even repaired the holes in my suit pants (without me asking) for free.[7] I will probably have to pay to get my pants altered, but I can do that. I think I didn't get them taken in sufficiently in East Wenatchee, and with a no car area I'll definitely need it. I don't worry too much about them though because they're my suit pants and I usually have a jacket over them. But I still will get them taken in.

---

[1] Haha. I did spend the summer in Lewiston.

[2] And thus began a ten-year love of Cherie Call. I’m still a fan.

[3] The night before I left on my mission, my mom wrote my name on all of my possessions.

[4] We never were able to reach her again.

[5] At the time, there were two temple films, both of them now obsolete. One had a blonde Eve and the other a brunette. The blonde was a much better actress, but they almost always showed the brunette one.

[6] I was a 38 or 40 when I started my mission.

[7] When Church members owned a business, we benefited from it. There seemed to be more of those member-owned businesses in that area than any of my other areas.

Monday, Monday, so good to me (2/23/09)

[1]On Saturday it got really warm. We were out walking and it got too warm in our coats so we had to drop them off at a members' home. It was nice, but I would have liked it better without the sunlight. When the sun shines it reflects from the snow, so we walk around with our sunglasses on and we look like the MIB.

One thing I have found on my mission that annoys me is that members do not understand what we do. It is not at all uncommon to hear something like, "Oh, are you just out tracking?" First of all the word is tracting, as in placing a tract (although we don't usually do that), not tracking. But what is more annoying is that they think that is all we do. I do not know if they use the word "tracking" (or sometimes they get it right) to mean proselyting, which we do do all day every day, or if they honestly think that we only knock on doors all day long. If we did that, an area could get tracted out in a manner of weeks. This area is small that it gets tracted out in months, and a lot of the people up here aren't very nice, perhaps some of the meanest people I've encountered. Tracting is like eating a shirt--it's generally not the most effective, and it's not very pleasant either. We do so much more. We go out to try to contact potential investigators (who are generally people who have been tracted into and have said to come back). We see former investigators. We try to visit less-active members, especially if we have not met them. Even this does not encompass all we do. This week we were walking down the road in the evening and some people were moving in so we offered to help. Generally people decline, but these people actually let us help. We left them our number on a pass-along card in case they need any more help. (I later said we should have left them our number on a Word of Wisdom pamphlet, for the boxes they packed in consisted of diaper boxes and beer, vodka, and other foolish drink boxes.)[2]

Ever since I got here, Elder B. has been complaining about how weird our ward mission leader is. I wondered why he never told me about his wife. He was out of town when I got here, but this week I got to meet him. I got in the car, and wondered why I'd never heard of his wife. Well, the reason was that he really is weird. He was gone because he, a 66-year-old, eloped with a woman he met online two months ago. They have not been sealed yet, but they exchanged rings in the celestial room. Yeah. It does not at all surprise me that he preaches false doctrine over the pulpit to the extent that the bishop has to get up the next week to correct him.[3]

Last night we were visiting some semi-active members. They asked me how long I have left. I realized that this Saturday marks fifteen months, and I only have nine left. That's single digits! I feel like there's still so much I need to do, need to learn, need to accomplish. Nine months is a depressingly short time! If someone conceived now the baby would be born about the time I get home! :(

Continuing with the random incontinuity of my letter, this morning Elder B.1's stereo somehow didn't function properly. I like my Michelle Tumes CD, but not at 4:00 a.m. I didn't sleep too well, and my dreams were all over the place. At one point I dreamt I wanted to get mint oreos for St. Patrick's Day, but they didn't have any, so I was going to get mint chip cookies instead, but then I determined they were soap cookies.

At this point I'm just writing to fill up time. This week we started teaching an unbaptized ten-year-old. His parents have testimonies but for some reason don't come to church. He answers no to every question we ask, even if he knows it. The dad seems enthusiastic but the mom is kind of odd, even though we know she has a testimony. Another example of how a wife drags her husband down. This is the only area I've served in where there have been active brethren married to nonmember wives. But even so, these men haven't always been active. The only other case I've seen was in Ritzville, where the wife of the High Priests Group Leader had her name removed. But judging from my experiences with her, I think she'll be rebaptized within a year.[4] But it is not at all uncommon for an active sister to be married to a nonmember.

We get long email time here, so I'm going to close now, and if I think of anything else, I can write back.

Love,

Elder Melville

Another comment

Today I was looking at pictures of my cute nieces. I mean, nephews. Their hair makes them look like girls.

I've been reading old emails. My greenie emails are so cheesy I had to stop because it made me cringe! If you want a laugh, look back at the old letters I wrote.

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[1] The title of my post came long before my 2013–2014 obsession with the Mamas and the Papas. This email was somehow deleted from my mom’s account, but luckily she forwarded it to my brother, and he still had it!

[2] Later I learned that liquor stores often have lots of extra boxes, so they might not have been as alcoholic as the boxes indicated.

[3] My companion told me about these horror stories about our ward mission leader. The night we found out he got married, my companion called the member we lived with and said, “Guess what Brother Wilhelm did.”

“He got married.”

“How did you know?

“He gets married more than some people change their underwear.”

[4] Indeed, that woman in Ritzville did get rebaptized within a year.