Last year I did a post about the Memorial Days of my life, which meant that I've never done one about what went on last year on Memorial Day. So here it is.
I remember my parents talking about what we wanted to do for the day. My mom suggested going to Gilgal Gardens. My dad wanted to see a movie, but my mom and I didn't like that idea. So I said we could go to Gilgal Gardens, as my mom suggested.
On our way there, we listened to Adele's 21 album. My mom said that she said "risk" funny in "He Won't Go"; it sounded like "reesk." She also said that she didn't think Adele looked the way she sounded. I said she did sound black, and my mom said she sounded fat. We got to Gilgal Gardens, which is a very interesting place. It has lots of strange Mormon-themed art, such as a sphinx with Joseph Smith's face. I was mostly interested in identifying all the different rocks.
I can't remember if we went to K-Mart, or if that was closer to Father's Day. If it was Memorial Day, then we looked at their patriotic stuff and bought large "Starmallows." It could have happened before Gilgal Gardens.
Then we went home. Somehow we got Allie; I can't remember if we picked her up, or if Matt dropped her off. My mom had to go somewhere, and Allie wanted to go with her. I asked Allie if she would rather go with my mom or stay home and roast s'mores with me on our little fire pit on our patio. She opted to stay home. I took s'more stuff out (using Starmallows, but I don't know if they were the little ones we had bought two weeks before or the big ones we bought at K-Mart). I was surprised at how fast the chocolate bar melted; it was a warm day.
Then it was time for me to return to Provo. When I got back, I put up patriotic decorations in my apartment. I put my neon light flag in the living room window, the flag light sculpture in the kitchen window, and the red, white, and blue light string over the living room shelf. Later my roommate Cameron came home and said, "I like all the patriotism!"
Then that night we got a knock in the door. It was some ward members inviting us to go up to Vivian Park with them. I remember Bryan Clark saying he liked our Christmas lights, and Cameron said "No!" Bryan said, "I know they're red, white, and blue." After some deliberation, I agreed to go, and Cameron did too. Cameron said he was disappointed in me because he was hoping I would say no, and then he wouldn't feel obligated to go either.
We went with Hanna and Carissa over to Hanna's car. Hanna was listening to a mix CD someone had made for her. It included "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + the Machine. They asked Cameron what music he liked; he said Death Cab for Cutie and Coldplay. Carissa said that everyone liked Coldplay at some point. Cameron told them I liked Katy Perry. I clarified that I only had one song ("Part of Me") but that I liked Christina Perri. We made it to Vivian Park, but we weren't sure where to meet the others. As we got there, the CD was playing "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster the People, and I was talking about how it reminded me of driving to work in the morning during the fall. We parked near a puddle and met our ward members. We walked over to a fire pit, and our ward members started a fire.
It was said that we should tell ghost stories, so Bryan Clark started one about a girl named Janey Jane. He kept getting distracted, so I continued the story, making it up but trying to base it on the "Ghost a Go Go" episode of Gilligan's Island. Michelle said, "I think this is the most I've ever heard Mark talk!" But I don't think I got to finish my story. Then we went back home.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Sunday, May 19, 2013
The Friday before Memorial Day
In recent years, the Friday before Memorial Day has been kind of an exciting day because it's one of my arbitrary days when I start a holiday season. On the Friday before Memorial Day I start the patriotic season that includes Memorial Day and Flag Day but is really all about the Fourth of July. However, this hasn't always been the case. This is my attempt at remembering what I can about the Friday before Memorial Day in the past.
2012. I went to my stupid history class in the morning and doodled patriotic things in the margins of my notes. Then that afternoon my parents came to town and picked me up. They wanted to try J-Dawgs, so they pulled into the parking lot. But I didn't warn them that the parking lot was really small, so my dad had to do some difficult maneuvering to back the Suburban into a parking spot. My dad ate his before we headed out. Allie was annoyed about turning the car off because it would make her start her movie over on her portable DVD player. Allie eventually said she didn't want to finish hers, so she gave it to my mom, but all that was left was the bun. My family had gone to Cabela's before picking me up and bought some Tootsie Rolls. I said that if they had bought patriotic-wrapped candies, I could have had them. I asked them if they remembered to bring the patriotic marshmallows. Allie was watching Matilda, and I didn't care for the language contained therein. I wanted to listen to Adele, and we eventually did. We drove out to see the lava tubes near Flowell; I think we saw a dust devil in a Flowell field. There was a cinder cone volcano that was half destroyed by some business. We drove on a road surrounded by basalt. There were lots of rocks in the road and I worried we would get a flat tire, which got Allie worrying as well. Then we got to the lava tubes. I went down into one. It was really cool! There were lots of grasshoppers and even some lizards. My dad told me about how he and some friends once set a fire in the open area of the lava tube, so he may have been responsible for the relative lack of vegetation down there. Then my dad took me and Allie into another lava tube, one that went far into the earth and out of the daylight. We had to use flashlights. My dad told me how he would go camping in the dark tube. I would be a little creeped out to sleep there. Then I hiked up nearby Tabernacle Hill while my mom and Allie waited in the car. I started on one side, but the path led to a steeper path on the other side. It was extraordinarily windy and I worried my glasses would blow off. My dad also climbed up. I tried to take pictures from the top, but my camera was out of battery. I wanted to walk over to a nearby alcove down in the lava tube, but it was so windy I decided not to. When we were driving back, my parents took a wrong turn (even though I told them it was wrong). We saw a sand dune with some cows on it; I said, "Look at that barchan sand dune!" My mom asked what barchan meant; she thought it was some slang expression. Then we drove up to Fillmore Canyon. I noticed all the arkose rocks. Then we met all of the Christensens, my dad's sister's family. We set up our tent, and then that night we roasted marshmallows for s'mores. I used red, white, and blue marshmallows so that I could have them. We talked about how good a man my Grandpa Boyd was. Sarena said that Judy was a good grandma, considering her circumstances.
2011. Before my 12:00 class, I downloaded "America the Beautiful," "My Country, 'Tis of Thee," and "The Star Spangled Banner" from lds.org. When I came home from classes, I was talking to my roommate Chase, and I think we were looking at pictures of eight-legged creatures. I was people watching out the window and saw a barefoot guy with short shorts and a funny gait. (I can't remember if his shorts were salmon-colored or if his legs were.) Then our roommate Zach came home and we put our stuff in the car to carpool up to North Salt Lake. We had to stop at the Wilk to pick up Shannon Kelly. Zach made an illegal left turn to get out of the Wilk. As we were driving down University Parkway, there was a car in front of us with a peculiar accessory on the back--it looked like a TV screen. We wanted to figure out what it was, but the car got away from us. As we got on the freeway, Zach and Shannon talked about a time when they almost crashed getting on the freeway because of a crazy lady driver. Zach was a fairly aggressive driver and said why he wondered why some of the people were going slow. I said, "Maybe they believe in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law." Zach was listening to his music on his iPod and Chase started dancing to "Viva la Vida." When Zach pulled up to my house, he was surprised to see the green Taurus in the driveway--he had ridden in that car before, but he didn't know I had switched cars. My dad wasn't too happy about turning 60. My mom made him a cake with blue frosting and red, white, and blue sprinkles. The sprinkles were for my sake, so I could eat the cake. She sent me to the store for something. I went with Allie, and we looked to see if there was such a thing as Fourth of July ice cream, since my mom said she had seen some. There wasn't. As we left the store, we saw Devan Gubler. Zach texted me to see if I wanted to play card games with him and some friends, but I declined. (Taken from the post about my dad's birthday.)
2010. My roommate Alex Vincent sent a mass text to all of his friends about his friend Nik Day who was performing at Sammy's restaurant in honor of his EP release. I asked Alex what an EP was, and he said it was a short CD. Since I didn't have anything better to do, I went to the EP release and met a girl from our ward, Joyce Porter. The first performer that night was one Amy Whitcomb. Next up was Jarrett Burns, who was quite enthusiastic, and I found his music fun. He didn't have live music; he just played the minus tracks from his laptop. Sammy's passed around a menu of their food, and Jarrett Burns's parents were in attendance. Then there was a girl who sang, accompanied by Aaron Edson. She was singing a song and she kept amending the lyrics. One of lyrics was "We could make out," and she added, "in a totally appropriate way." She mentioned something about talking to a bishop. In the middle of the song she apologized and said she was being too silly. My thought was, if you're going to have to clean up the lyrics, why don't you just choose another song? She also sang, "Or we could make love...after going to the temple!" Then Nik Day got on. Alex was his mandolin player. He said he was going to sing "People Will Be People," and there were some cheers. He pointed out that obviously his family members were there. Some people were watching from the parking balcony of the adjacent hotel; the MC thanked them for not complaining about the noise. That night I bought Jarrett Burns's CD, and then I bought Nik Day's EP out of sympathy. (Well, sympathy's not the right word; I bought it because I felt bad not buying it, since it was his concert.) Joyce Porter bought the deal that included some extra songs and a Sammy's pie shake, but she tried to give the shake away. I drove Joyce home while listening to my Michelle Tumes CD. When I got to the Stratford Court parking lot, I told her she could get out because I was embarrassed to back into a parking spot with someone in the car, since I'm not a very good backer.
2009. At combined district meeting, our zone leaders told us they weren't going to give us a training on how to contact people but instead would have us go out and contact people. We all paired up with other missionaries and drove someplace to contact people. Elder Cluff drove us to the Walmart parking lot; he and his "companion" claimed the people who were standing underneath a tree outside of the parking lot. I thought the parking lot was a terrible idea. But before I could tell my temporary companion that it was a bad idea to talk to people in the parking lot, he went up and started talking to people. I changed the approach and just offered to take people's carts back for them, since that seemed more legal. That afternoon we went to Lapwai, and then we came back for the Lewiston 2nd Ward party. I commented on the springlike colors of the table cloths. Here is my journal entry for the day:
"Today the zone leaders had us leave in district meeting to go talk to people, and the other missionaries foolishly had us go to the Wal-Mart parking lot. That was bad and I didn't think it was an appropriate place to contact people.
"Jeffrey's was really slow. Then we went out to Lapwai. A bunch of the Indians are unhappy because a policeman shot an Indian who wouldn't pull over.
"Then we went to the ward party. It was kind of boring and had a poor turnout.
"I'm feeling like the days here are unfulfilling. On Wednesday I'll take over the area on exchanges, and I'm excited. I want to do some good work that will help me learn the area. I am pretty annoyed that Elder Lamb didn't update anything of former investigators."
2008. This is what my journal entry says:
"Today Elder Condie decided to sleep in [which was nothing new for him]. Then Teddie cancelled but still wanted a map to church. We stopped by a few people around her, then we came home. We had to usher for the stake play--they started it early for some reason. There was no organization. Then Kristy wasn't home when we showed up. We tried to call her but she got a new cell phone."
I seem to remember thinking it was dumb to start the play early, since lots of people were still showing up. I think this was the time we were standing outside the room of the performance, and we heard silence on stage (it was written as part of the play). Sister Shaw said that it was bad to have silence on stage for so long, whether it was intentional or not.
2005. I remember that my dad picked me up from school and we had to stop at a gas station to buy special ice to go camping. I guess our freezer ice wasn't good enough. (Taken from the post about my dad's birthday.)
2002. I was home sick from school. I was taking some medicine for the sickness. I told my mom I couldn't breathe, so she took me to Instacare. They examined me and told me that my throat was closed up; I had anaphylaxis from the medicine. They did what they could for me, but then it was time for them to close, so I was transported by ambulance to Primary Children's Hospital. I think I could see my mom's car following the ambulance. I had to stay the night. They gave me an IV and I had to go to the bathroom all night, which annoyed my mom.
2001. We went up to Fillmore Canyon, where we were surprised to see a new outhouse near the gate of the parking area. It was nice and clean, but we didn't know how long it would stay that way. My mom had bought some twirly helicopter toys--you know, the ones that you spin with your hands and let go into the air. I thought about how the red and blue one could be a Fourth of July one, and the orange and purple one could be a Halloween one.
1994. If I am not mistaken, this was the last day of my preschool. They gave us pictures of our class and pencils that had pictures of the earth. They also gave us bags of clothes. These were clothes that our parents had given to the teachers in case we ever peed our pants, but a lot of us thought they were just giving us clothes. I can't remember whether or not I recognized the clothes as my own, but I do remember that I didn't recognize the Mario underwear as my own. (In fact, I think that underwear might have originally belonged to a friend named Keith, or else he had some that was the same. Underwear has a way of changing houses among children who are scared to use strangers' bathrooms.) One boy in my class was tearing off pieces from his plastic bag and eating them, saying, "I love plastic." I thought how I liked it too, but my mom and brother had told me it wasn't good to eat. (It's possible this last part was a dream; sometimes it's hard to distinguish old memories from dreams--but I always thought it really happened.) Then I think I played with my friend David Christensen while my parents were getting ready for camping. It was an overcast day. (Taken from the post about my dad's birthday.)
2012. I went to my stupid history class in the morning and doodled patriotic things in the margins of my notes. Then that afternoon my parents came to town and picked me up. They wanted to try J-Dawgs, so they pulled into the parking lot. But I didn't warn them that the parking lot was really small, so my dad had to do some difficult maneuvering to back the Suburban into a parking spot. My dad ate his before we headed out. Allie was annoyed about turning the car off because it would make her start her movie over on her portable DVD player. Allie eventually said she didn't want to finish hers, so she gave it to my mom, but all that was left was the bun. My family had gone to Cabela's before picking me up and bought some Tootsie Rolls. I said that if they had bought patriotic-wrapped candies, I could have had them. I asked them if they remembered to bring the patriotic marshmallows. Allie was watching Matilda, and I didn't care for the language contained therein. I wanted to listen to Adele, and we eventually did. We drove out to see the lava tubes near Flowell; I think we saw a dust devil in a Flowell field. There was a cinder cone volcano that was half destroyed by some business. We drove on a road surrounded by basalt. There were lots of rocks in the road and I worried we would get a flat tire, which got Allie worrying as well. Then we got to the lava tubes. I went down into one. It was really cool! There were lots of grasshoppers and even some lizards. My dad told me about how he and some friends once set a fire in the open area of the lava tube, so he may have been responsible for the relative lack of vegetation down there. Then my dad took me and Allie into another lava tube, one that went far into the earth and out of the daylight. We had to use flashlights. My dad told me how he would go camping in the dark tube. I would be a little creeped out to sleep there. Then I hiked up nearby Tabernacle Hill while my mom and Allie waited in the car. I started on one side, but the path led to a steeper path on the other side. It was extraordinarily windy and I worried my glasses would blow off. My dad also climbed up. I tried to take pictures from the top, but my camera was out of battery. I wanted to walk over to a nearby alcove down in the lava tube, but it was so windy I decided not to. When we were driving back, my parents took a wrong turn (even though I told them it was wrong). We saw a sand dune with some cows on it; I said, "Look at that barchan sand dune!" My mom asked what barchan meant; she thought it was some slang expression. Then we drove up to Fillmore Canyon. I noticed all the arkose rocks. Then we met all of the Christensens, my dad's sister's family. We set up our tent, and then that night we roasted marshmallows for s'mores. I used red, white, and blue marshmallows so that I could have them. We talked about how good a man my Grandpa Boyd was. Sarena said that Judy was a good grandma, considering her circumstances.2011. Before my 12:00 class, I downloaded "America the Beautiful," "My Country, 'Tis of Thee," and "The Star Spangled Banner" from lds.org. When I came home from classes, I was talking to my roommate Chase, and I think we were looking at pictures of eight-legged creatures. I was people watching out the window and saw a barefoot guy with short shorts and a funny gait. (I can't remember if his shorts were salmon-colored or if his legs were.) Then our roommate Zach came home and we put our stuff in the car to carpool up to North Salt Lake. We had to stop at the Wilk to pick up Shannon Kelly. Zach made an illegal left turn to get out of the Wilk. As we were driving down University Parkway, there was a car in front of us with a peculiar accessory on the back--it looked like a TV screen. We wanted to figure out what it was, but the car got away from us. As we got on the freeway, Zach and Shannon talked about a time when they almost crashed getting on the freeway because of a crazy lady driver. Zach was a fairly aggressive driver and said why he wondered why some of the people were going slow. I said, "Maybe they believe in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law." Zach was listening to his music on his iPod and Chase started dancing to "Viva la Vida." When Zach pulled up to my house, he was surprised to see the green Taurus in the driveway--he had ridden in that car before, but he didn't know I had switched cars. My dad wasn't too happy about turning 60. My mom made him a cake with blue frosting and red, white, and blue sprinkles. The sprinkles were for my sake, so I could eat the cake. She sent me to the store for something. I went with Allie, and we looked to see if there was such a thing as Fourth of July ice cream, since my mom said she had seen some. There wasn't. As we left the store, we saw Devan Gubler. Zach texted me to see if I wanted to play card games with him and some friends, but I declined. (Taken from the post about my dad's birthday.)
2010. My roommate Alex Vincent sent a mass text to all of his friends about his friend Nik Day who was performing at Sammy's restaurant in honor of his EP release. I asked Alex what an EP was, and he said it was a short CD. Since I didn't have anything better to do, I went to the EP release and met a girl from our ward, Joyce Porter. The first performer that night was one Amy Whitcomb. Next up was Jarrett Burns, who was quite enthusiastic, and I found his music fun. He didn't have live music; he just played the minus tracks from his laptop. Sammy's passed around a menu of their food, and Jarrett Burns's parents were in attendance. Then there was a girl who sang, accompanied by Aaron Edson. She was singing a song and she kept amending the lyrics. One of lyrics was "We could make out," and she added, "in a totally appropriate way." She mentioned something about talking to a bishop. In the middle of the song she apologized and said she was being too silly. My thought was, if you're going to have to clean up the lyrics, why don't you just choose another song? She also sang, "Or we could make love...after going to the temple!" Then Nik Day got on. Alex was his mandolin player. He said he was going to sing "People Will Be People," and there were some cheers. He pointed out that obviously his family members were there. Some people were watching from the parking balcony of the adjacent hotel; the MC thanked them for not complaining about the noise. That night I bought Jarrett Burns's CD, and then I bought Nik Day's EP out of sympathy. (Well, sympathy's not the right word; I bought it because I felt bad not buying it, since it was his concert.) Joyce Porter bought the deal that included some extra songs and a Sammy's pie shake, but she tried to give the shake away. I drove Joyce home while listening to my Michelle Tumes CD. When I got to the Stratford Court parking lot, I told her she could get out because I was embarrassed to back into a parking spot with someone in the car, since I'm not a very good backer.
2009. At combined district meeting, our zone leaders told us they weren't going to give us a training on how to contact people but instead would have us go out and contact people. We all paired up with other missionaries and drove someplace to contact people. Elder Cluff drove us to the Walmart parking lot; he and his "companion" claimed the people who were standing underneath a tree outside of the parking lot. I thought the parking lot was a terrible idea. But before I could tell my temporary companion that it was a bad idea to talk to people in the parking lot, he went up and started talking to people. I changed the approach and just offered to take people's carts back for them, since that seemed more legal. That afternoon we went to Lapwai, and then we came back for the Lewiston 2nd Ward party. I commented on the springlike colors of the table cloths. Here is my journal entry for the day:
"Today the zone leaders had us leave in district meeting to go talk to people, and the other missionaries foolishly had us go to the Wal-Mart parking lot. That was bad and I didn't think it was an appropriate place to contact people.
"Jeffrey's was really slow. Then we went out to Lapwai. A bunch of the Indians are unhappy because a policeman shot an Indian who wouldn't pull over.
"Then we went to the ward party. It was kind of boring and had a poor turnout.
"I'm feeling like the days here are unfulfilling. On Wednesday I'll take over the area on exchanges, and I'm excited. I want to do some good work that will help me learn the area. I am pretty annoyed that Elder Lamb didn't update anything of former investigators."
2008. This is what my journal entry says:
"Today Elder Condie decided to sleep in [which was nothing new for him]. Then Teddie cancelled but still wanted a map to church. We stopped by a few people around her, then we came home. We had to usher for the stake play--they started it early for some reason. There was no organization. Then Kristy wasn't home when we showed up. We tried to call her but she got a new cell phone."
I seem to remember thinking it was dumb to start the play early, since lots of people were still showing up. I think this was the time we were standing outside the room of the performance, and we heard silence on stage (it was written as part of the play). Sister Shaw said that it was bad to have silence on stage for so long, whether it was intentional or not.
2005. I remember that my dad picked me up from school and we had to stop at a gas station to buy special ice to go camping. I guess our freezer ice wasn't good enough. (Taken from the post about my dad's birthday.)
2002. I was home sick from school. I was taking some medicine for the sickness. I told my mom I couldn't breathe, so she took me to Instacare. They examined me and told me that my throat was closed up; I had anaphylaxis from the medicine. They did what they could for me, but then it was time for them to close, so I was transported by ambulance to Primary Children's Hospital. I think I could see my mom's car following the ambulance. I had to stay the night. They gave me an IV and I had to go to the bathroom all night, which annoyed my mom.
2001. We went up to Fillmore Canyon, where we were surprised to see a new outhouse near the gate of the parking area. It was nice and clean, but we didn't know how long it would stay that way. My mom had bought some twirly helicopter toys--you know, the ones that you spin with your hands and let go into the air. I thought about how the red and blue one could be a Fourth of July one, and the orange and purple one could be a Halloween one.
1994. If I am not mistaken, this was the last day of my preschool. They gave us pictures of our class and pencils that had pictures of the earth. They also gave us bags of clothes. These were clothes that our parents had given to the teachers in case we ever peed our pants, but a lot of us thought they were just giving us clothes. I can't remember whether or not I recognized the clothes as my own, but I do remember that I didn't recognize the Mario underwear as my own. (In fact, I think that underwear might have originally belonged to a friend named Keith, or else he had some that was the same. Underwear has a way of changing houses among children who are scared to use strangers' bathrooms.) One boy in my class was tearing off pieces from his plastic bag and eating them, saying, "I love plastic." I thought how I liked it too, but my mom and brother had told me it wasn't good to eat. (It's possible this last part was a dream; sometimes it's hard to distinguish old memories from dreams--but I always thought it really happened.) Then I think I played with my friend David Christensen while my parents were getting ready for camping. It was an overcast day. (Taken from the post about my dad's birthday.)
Sunday, May 12, 2013
When elementary school teachers were wrong
When I attended Orchard Elementary School, I thought that my teachers were smart people. But there were occasions when they were wrong.
Like when my third grade teacher said that Cinco de Mayo is the equivalent of the Fourth of July in Mexico. But that's false. Cinco de Mayo commemorates one small victory of the Mexicans over the French. Mexico's Independence Day is September 16, not May 5.
My fourth-grade teacher Mr. Williams was kind of a know-it-all. I remember once at Christmastime he gave us a bunch of Christmas words. One of the words was "manger." He told us that a manger is a barn, and he said that "Away in a Manger" could be called "Away in a Barn." But a manger is not a barn. That's a stable. A manger is a feedbox. The French word manger means "to eat."
It was Mr. Williams who taught me a stupid prescriptive rule, one that I followed for a long time. I wrote an Easter story that started off, "The funnest Easter I can remember," and he told me funnest wasn't a word. I had never heard that. He asked me to look in a dictionary to see if funner was in it. But now I know where that rule came from, and it's pure nonsense. Originally, fun was a noun. But if you say, "That was fun," it's hard to know whether fun is a noun or an adjective. But fun has now become an adjective, as in "That was a fun party." But stupid prescriptivists say you can't say "funner" because fun was a noun, and you can't add -est or -er to a noun. But today, fun is more of an adjective than it is a verb, and almost all (and maybe all!) other single-syllable adjectives take the -er or -est suffixes. If you're going to say funner is wrong, then you technically should say that more fun is also wrong. So take that!
In fifth grade, we used to rotate teachers. Mrs. Cowan was in charge of English stuff. And once she had to write the word business on the board. She wrote it as buisness. We corrected her, but she apparently had never considered the etymology or morphology of the word, and after writing it the right way, she said, "No!" and "corrected" it back to buisness.
I remember learning about the core, mantle, and crust in second grade. Then in fifth grade, the science teacher, Mrs. (or Miss?) Belnap, told us about more layers. There was the crust, the lithosphere, the outer core, and the inner core. I never fully understood what the lithosphere was, especially in relation to the core. But now I know that you can't talk about the core and the lithosphere at the same time. The crust relates to chemical properties (composition), and the lithosphere relates to physical properties.
The lithosphere and the crust are almost the same, except that the lithosphere is slightly thicker. The lithosphere is made of all of the crust and a little bit of the mantle. My teacher made it seem that the lithosphere was below the crust, but they're actually almost the same thing.
Then I had Mr. Williams again in sixth grade. Now, he was my favorite elementary school teacher, but sometimes, looking back, I question his ethics. He decided one day that our book that we would read as a class was the first Harry Potter book. But he hadn't read it, and he just played the book on tape, which meant that he didn't have to read it. Then one day he gave us a test on the book. But since he hadn't read it, he couldn't make one, so he Googled one. And he couldn't know how accurate the test was. And this was a terrible test. First of all, it had elements from the first three books, not just the first, so those who hadn't read all of them were at a disadvantage. But not only that, the test was WRONG! One of the questions asked which character had wizard parents. The options were Ron, Harry, Hermione, and maybe someone else. Of course, both Harry and Ron had wizard parents, even though Harry was raised by muggles. But the test said that Ron was the only one with wizard parents. So we challenged Mr. Williams about it. But instead of listening to us, he actually defended the test, even though he didn't know what he was talking about! Someone brought up that Harry's parents attended Hogwarts, and Mr. Williams said, "They were muggles who attended a wizard school." Um, no. That is completely false. It was obvious that he was making things up because he didn't want the quiz to be wrong.
People who are unteachable shouldn't be teachers.
Like when my third grade teacher said that Cinco de Mayo is the equivalent of the Fourth of July in Mexico. But that's false. Cinco de Mayo commemorates one small victory of the Mexicans over the French. Mexico's Independence Day is September 16, not May 5.
My fourth-grade teacher Mr. Williams was kind of a know-it-all. I remember once at Christmastime he gave us a bunch of Christmas words. One of the words was "manger." He told us that a manger is a barn, and he said that "Away in a Manger" could be called "Away in a Barn." But a manger is not a barn. That's a stable. A manger is a feedbox. The French word manger means "to eat."
It was Mr. Williams who taught me a stupid prescriptive rule, one that I followed for a long time. I wrote an Easter story that started off, "The funnest Easter I can remember," and he told me funnest wasn't a word. I had never heard that. He asked me to look in a dictionary to see if funner was in it. But now I know where that rule came from, and it's pure nonsense. Originally, fun was a noun. But if you say, "That was fun," it's hard to know whether fun is a noun or an adjective. But fun has now become an adjective, as in "That was a fun party." But stupid prescriptivists say you can't say "funner" because fun was a noun, and you can't add -est or -er to a noun. But today, fun is more of an adjective than it is a verb, and almost all (and maybe all!) other single-syllable adjectives take the -er or -est suffixes. If you're going to say funner is wrong, then you technically should say that more fun is also wrong. So take that!
In fifth grade, we used to rotate teachers. Mrs. Cowan was in charge of English stuff. And once she had to write the word business on the board. She wrote it as buisness. We corrected her, but she apparently had never considered the etymology or morphology of the word, and after writing it the right way, she said, "No!" and "corrected" it back to buisness.
I remember learning about the core, mantle, and crust in second grade. Then in fifth grade, the science teacher, Mrs. (or Miss?) Belnap, told us about more layers. There was the crust, the lithosphere, the outer core, and the inner core. I never fully understood what the lithosphere was, especially in relation to the core. But now I know that you can't talk about the core and the lithosphere at the same time. The crust relates to chemical properties (composition), and the lithosphere relates to physical properties.
Then I had Mr. Williams again in sixth grade. Now, he was my favorite elementary school teacher, but sometimes, looking back, I question his ethics. He decided one day that our book that we would read as a class was the first Harry Potter book. But he hadn't read it, and he just played the book on tape, which meant that he didn't have to read it. Then one day he gave us a test on the book. But since he hadn't read it, he couldn't make one, so he Googled one. And he couldn't know how accurate the test was. And this was a terrible test. First of all, it had elements from the first three books, not just the first, so those who hadn't read all of them were at a disadvantage. But not only that, the test was WRONG! One of the questions asked which character had wizard parents. The options were Ron, Harry, Hermione, and maybe someone else. Of course, both Harry and Ron had wizard parents, even though Harry was raised by muggles. But the test said that Ron was the only one with wizard parents. So we challenged Mr. Williams about it. But instead of listening to us, he actually defended the test, even though he didn't know what he was talking about! Someone brought up that Harry's parents attended Hogwarts, and Mr. Williams said, "They were muggles who attended a wizard school." Um, no. That is completely false. It was obvious that he was making things up because he didn't want the quiz to be wrong.
People who are unteachable shouldn't be teachers.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
The day before Mother's Day
It's almost Mother's Day, so I'm going to remember what I can about the day before the holiday.
2012. My mom and I headed up to Clearfield to help my cousin Ryan move out of his parents' house. My mom asked about taking music to listen to; I brought Neon Trees' album Picture Show and Taylor Swift's Speak Now. (We listened to Cherie Call and later to Neon Trees [my mom wanted to hear them since she'd read about them in the paper], but we never listened to Taylor.) I think for some reason we were driving in some neighborhoods in Centerville and Farmington; maybe we had to pick up a missionary plaque in Centerville. When we got to the Gildersleeves', we met Ryan's son Brennon, who kept calling my mom "Grandma Ebbert." Debbie kept talking about how I came all the way up from BYU to help move, which was only partly true. We helped move stuff out of the garage. There was a tub of rotting apples in the garage. There were several garage sales going on on the street, and people kept coming up because they thought it was a garage sale. One was a weird old guy and my mom told him we were moving stuff; he said there was a lot of stuff to move, and I told him not all of it was going. One was a Hispanic guy in a pickup truck who was listening to 80s music. I was surprised that he actually parked in the driveway. Maria had to tell him it wasn't a sale. Some other people pulled up and my mom told them it wasn't a sale. We loaded up a lot of Brennon's toys in our Rav to take over to the new house. Brennon found a bug (a "poteena" bug, he called it) that he wanted to take over to the new house; he tried to put it in my pocket. We drove over to the new house and unloaded stuff. Later my uncle Rick came and I talked with him a little about my studies. Then my mom and I left. Before getting on the freeway we stopped at Wendy's for lunch; I was unimpressed with my chicken sandwich. Then we stopped at a hardware store on our way back because my mom wanted to get an outdoor fire pit for Mother's Day (we had to load it on a dolly). We might have also got some plants (I know we at least looked at them), and I know we got a Gatorade because I was thirsty. I brought the Rav over to load the fire pit. Then we drove home. Later we went to Walmart. I was excited to see that they had red, white, and blue star-shaped marshmallows, so we bought them so that I could have them two weeks later. We also bought caramel marshmallows to roast on the new fire pit. We came home and set it up. I seem to recall something about turning on the hose in the front lawn and admiring the rocks in the garden. Then the Brunners in our ward drove past and stopped and Katy and Mia talked to Allie. Then we went back on the patio and roasted marshmallows. Allie was kind of careless with her roasting stick. She told Karen about how I had said there was flavored peanut butter; I didn't know why she thought that was worth telling her. My mom said something about her college son eating peanut butter, and Karen talked about her daughters liking Nutella and saying it was healthy. My mom brought up how I had compared its nutrition facts to chocolate frosting. Karen said it was like eating fudge but "mighty tasty."
2011. My dad and I went to Kmart to get flowers for my mom. I was ready to put them on the checkstand but the checker told me she could just scan them in the cart. I paid, and then we went over to get gas. I think my dad bought gas, and he told me he would have bought the flowers too. (Or maybe he paid for the flowers and I bought the gas. I can't remember.) We went home and kept the flowers in the trunk. Unfortunately, I can't remember what else happened that day at the moment.
2010. As I was leaving my apartment, a girl asked me if I was going home for Mother's Day. When I responded that I was, she said I was a good son. Nan and Matt and Allie were going to meet us to go to dinner. My mom initially wanted to go to the Old Spaghetti Factory, but then she changed her mind and wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse and Allie was mad. I had never been to Texas Roadhouse. My mom and sister liked our server. After dinner, Nan and Matt left and Allie went with us to get the car inspected. Allie got a Blo-Pop there and swallowed the gum. Then we went to Costco. Being forever overly indulgent, my parents got a frozen yogurt swirl shake for Allie, and she started her characteristic esophageal choking. We thought it was because of the gum she swallowed, but it turned out to be from the chicken she ate at Texas Roadhouse.
2008. This is what my journal says:
"All our appointments cancelled again today. Elder Condie says this has happened before on his mission and everything goes wrong while he gets a really weird feeling.
"We had dinner at a high priests dinner. Then we biked to a nearby less-active part-member relationship. That was good. We hate these kinds of days."
I think this was the time that Elder Condie said that the reason our appointments cancelled was because he wasn't obedient, so he didn't have the Spirit, and the D&C says that if you have not the Spirit you shall not teach. Mind you, he didn't use this to try to become more obedient. At the high priests dinner, they played old music. One was this dumb song that had the singer just "singing" "HeEE hee, hee hee hee hee hee," etc. Elder Condie said, "No me gusta," and I told him how I had once received a Valentine's gift of a dumb CD with dumb songs, and that was one of the songs.
2000. During the day, David and his girlfriend Andrea prepared a fancy meal for my mom (and the rest of us) for Mother's Day. Andrea asked my mom if she had a bottle for dressing. My mom found one, and I thought it was a decoration that had had oil in it (but I later learned it wasn't). I think the salad had mandarin oranges in it. My dad asked me to bless the food, but I was really shy with Andrea around, so I declined. Then David and Andrea left, and my mom had to clean up. She was quite annoyed that she had to clean up this meal made for her and said to me, "Mark, never do this." Then my dad took me shopping for her present. I think I got a black double-hooked garden pole from Kmart. When we got home, my dad told me to go distract my mom so that he could move the pole in the garage without her knowing. So I went up in the kitchen and said excitedly, "Hi Mom! How are you?" and she immediately knew what I was up to, since I never talked like that. She might have been annoyed that I was getting her present the night before Mother's Day.
2012. My mom and I headed up to Clearfield to help my cousin Ryan move out of his parents' house. My mom asked about taking music to listen to; I brought Neon Trees' album Picture Show and Taylor Swift's Speak Now. (We listened to Cherie Call and later to Neon Trees [my mom wanted to hear them since she'd read about them in the paper], but we never listened to Taylor.) I think for some reason we were driving in some neighborhoods in Centerville and Farmington; maybe we had to pick up a missionary plaque in Centerville. When we got to the Gildersleeves', we met Ryan's son Brennon, who kept calling my mom "Grandma Ebbert." Debbie kept talking about how I came all the way up from BYU to help move, which was only partly true. We helped move stuff out of the garage. There was a tub of rotting apples in the garage. There were several garage sales going on on the street, and people kept coming up because they thought it was a garage sale. One was a weird old guy and my mom told him we were moving stuff; he said there was a lot of stuff to move, and I told him not all of it was going. One was a Hispanic guy in a pickup truck who was listening to 80s music. I was surprised that he actually parked in the driveway. Maria had to tell him it wasn't a sale. Some other people pulled up and my mom told them it wasn't a sale. We loaded up a lot of Brennon's toys in our Rav to take over to the new house. Brennon found a bug (a "poteena" bug, he called it) that he wanted to take over to the new house; he tried to put it in my pocket. We drove over to the new house and unloaded stuff. Later my uncle Rick came and I talked with him a little about my studies. Then my mom and I left. Before getting on the freeway we stopped at Wendy's for lunch; I was unimpressed with my chicken sandwich. Then we stopped at a hardware store on our way back because my mom wanted to get an outdoor fire pit for Mother's Day (we had to load it on a dolly). We might have also got some plants (I know we at least looked at them), and I know we got a Gatorade because I was thirsty. I brought the Rav over to load the fire pit. Then we drove home. Later we went to Walmart. I was excited to see that they had red, white, and blue star-shaped marshmallows, so we bought them so that I could have them two weeks later. We also bought caramel marshmallows to roast on the new fire pit. We came home and set it up. I seem to recall something about turning on the hose in the front lawn and admiring the rocks in the garden. Then the Brunners in our ward drove past and stopped and Katy and Mia talked to Allie. Then we went back on the patio and roasted marshmallows. Allie was kind of careless with her roasting stick. She told Karen about how I had said there was flavored peanut butter; I didn't know why she thought that was worth telling her. My mom said something about her college son eating peanut butter, and Karen talked about her daughters liking Nutella and saying it was healthy. My mom brought up how I had compared its nutrition facts to chocolate frosting. Karen said it was like eating fudge but "mighty tasty."
2011. My dad and I went to Kmart to get flowers for my mom. I was ready to put them on the checkstand but the checker told me she could just scan them in the cart. I paid, and then we went over to get gas. I think my dad bought gas, and he told me he would have bought the flowers too. (Or maybe he paid for the flowers and I bought the gas. I can't remember.) We went home and kept the flowers in the trunk. Unfortunately, I can't remember what else happened that day at the moment.
2010. As I was leaving my apartment, a girl asked me if I was going home for Mother's Day. When I responded that I was, she said I was a good son. Nan and Matt and Allie were going to meet us to go to dinner. My mom initially wanted to go to the Old Spaghetti Factory, but then she changed her mind and wanted to go to Texas Roadhouse and Allie was mad. I had never been to Texas Roadhouse. My mom and sister liked our server. After dinner, Nan and Matt left and Allie went with us to get the car inspected. Allie got a Blo-Pop there and swallowed the gum. Then we went to Costco. Being forever overly indulgent, my parents got a frozen yogurt swirl shake for Allie, and she started her characteristic esophageal choking. We thought it was because of the gum she swallowed, but it turned out to be from the chicken she ate at Texas Roadhouse.
2008. This is what my journal says:
"All our appointments cancelled again today. Elder Condie says this has happened before on his mission and everything goes wrong while he gets a really weird feeling.
"We had dinner at a high priests dinner. Then we biked to a nearby less-active part-member relationship. That was good. We hate these kinds of days."
I think this was the time that Elder Condie said that the reason our appointments cancelled was because he wasn't obedient, so he didn't have the Spirit, and the D&C says that if you have not the Spirit you shall not teach. Mind you, he didn't use this to try to become more obedient. At the high priests dinner, they played old music. One was this dumb song that had the singer just "singing" "HeEE hee, hee hee hee hee hee," etc. Elder Condie said, "No me gusta," and I told him how I had once received a Valentine's gift of a dumb CD with dumb songs, and that was one of the songs.
2000. During the day, David and his girlfriend Andrea prepared a fancy meal for my mom (and the rest of us) for Mother's Day. Andrea asked my mom if she had a bottle for dressing. My mom found one, and I thought it was a decoration that had had oil in it (but I later learned it wasn't). I think the salad had mandarin oranges in it. My dad asked me to bless the food, but I was really shy with Andrea around, so I declined. Then David and Andrea left, and my mom had to clean up. She was quite annoyed that she had to clean up this meal made for her and said to me, "Mark, never do this." Then my dad took me shopping for her present. I think I got a black double-hooked garden pole from Kmart. When we got home, my dad told me to go distract my mom so that he could move the pole in the garage without her knowing. So I went up in the kitchen and said excitedly, "Hi Mom! How are you?" and she immediately knew what I was up to, since I never talked like that. She might have been annoyed that I was getting her present the night before Mother's Day.
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