Many years ago, my grandparents used to have nights when they would have a grandchild over at their house and have dinner with them and then get them a present. Being one of the younger grandkids, I didn't get much of that. But I do remember two such occasions.
On one of them, I was four or five. I remember going to the store with my grandma and she got me a Pinocchio book. At the checkout, I saw some Tic-Tacs, and I wanted them, so she got them for me. Then we went back to their house and I watched The Jungle Book. I fell asleep on their futon-esque chair. Then my mom came back to pick me up, and my grandma told her about getting me Tic-Tacs. She probably thought it was a strange thing for a little kid like me.
I think I spent the night at their house one night when my mom had her gallbladder taken out, but that doesn't really count.
The other special night was I think when I was eight. I think they were trying to spend time with all the grandkids before leaving on a mission. I wanted to get pizza, so they got a pepperoni for me and a more mature one for them. Since I was the only one eating the one pizza, I ate five slices. While my cousins went to places like the Nickelcade, I just wanted to stay at their house. I had become interested in watching figure skating, and I noticed that they had a lot of old tapes of it, so I wanted to watch those. But soon that bored me, so we watched family videos instead. I wanted to watch Christmas 1988, when I was a baby, but since I wasn't even three months old, I had only a very brief cameo in a yellow outfit when David picked me up. The 1989 and 1990 Christmas videos were much more interesting. In the 1989 video, Susanne was eating a candy cane, and Grandpa was telling her to take it out of her mouth when she was on our brand new trampoline. I thought Grandpa was saying that in real life to her on the video, so I looked over at him. When we watched the 1990 video, Grandma was saying that my cousin Tammy was 14 at that time. The next morning, they took me to a video game store. The salesman recommended two video games for me, either Super Mario Land or Jeep Jamboree, but since I already had the Mario game, I got the Jeep game. As they were driving me home in their van, I remember saying that we (my family) were poor. Grandma started saying, "Well, you have..." and I said that I meant we were poor moneywise. (I'm not sure why I thought that--we weren't rich by any means, but I don't think we were poor.)
I even remember the day David came home from his night. We were at a T-ball game for one of my cousins, and my grandparents met us there. David had gotten the game Red Alert for Virtual Boy. During the T-ball game, Grandma kept yelling "Run run run run!" to the kids, and a toddler named Kahlil was copying her, and she said, "I have an echo!"
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Sunday, February 16, 2014
March 15-18, 2013
Now that Valentine's Day is over, I'm going to remember last year's St. Patrick's Day and surrounding days.
March 15 was a Friday. That evening, I went to a historical geology test review. There was a problem with the review, because the TA had one answer on her key that was wrong. One girl had gone to take the test immediately after the review, and she told us of the problem. That night I walked home, talking to one of my classmates, Cameron, and as I got home, I told him I would see him in the morning, since we were going on a field trip.
We met at the ESC early on March 16. We loaded up in vans and drove off to go to Spanish Fork Canyon. One of my classmates, Chris, was driving, but he was nervous to do so, and he put his iPod in. We drove through Springville, and one of my classmates said we had passed his house--he could have slept in and just been picked up, rather than him having to drive to campus. We stopped by the windmills of Spanish Fork, and a freezing wind was blowing. A memorial cross was on the hill, and Dr. Britt joked, "Once there was a BYU student who froze to death on this field trip, and she is buried under that cross." Before we left that place, I asked Dr. Britt, "Are those faceted spurs?" and he confirmed that they were. Some vans took off, but they were driving in the wrong direction. Dr. Britt motioned for them to turn around, but they kept going in that direction. We drove to our next stop on the side of the road, where we looked at red shale with a few fossils in it. When we left, my van's driver was annoyed with Dr. Britt for driving fast onto the highway around a curve. We stopped at another place nearby, and we walked along looking at red, gray, and green shale. (I realized I couldn't see the green shale because I'm a little colorblind.) They showed us how to use geologic compasses; our TA said, "Is anyone here not a geology major?" I said I was just a minor, and she said, "I think geology minors need to take 210." I said they didn't, but I was going to take it anyway, so she said that everyone there needed to learn to use the compasses. Then we left and kept going to different places. oAt We went to a place with Triassic limestone, and we got out to find fossils. During a bathroom break, some girls brought back a toilet they had found at an abandoned house nearby. Finding fossils was a little rough. I found a small shell fossil, and when someone said they couldn't find any fossils, I told them I found a shell, but they thought I was talking about a snail shell that was not a fossil. I showed my findings to Dr. Britt, but not all of them were fossils. We were on a steep mountain near a pond that smelled like sulfur, and it was a very nice day. I found some very nice ripple marks, but I decided not to take the rock, so someone else did. That made me feel better. Eventually we had to stop someplace where we had to climb through a barbed wire fence to look at a tufa deposit--I had never heard of tufa before. I found a nice leaf fossil in the tufa, but the rock was too big for me to want to take it with me, especially since tufa is sharp. There was a fault across the road. Closer to Price, we saw some coal. We even stopped at a place where they had a bunch of salt for salting roads, and being geologists we licked some. Near the coal, my classmate Bart complimented me on my St. Patrick's Day shirt--he asked if it was St. Patrick's Day and if I was Irish. We looked at a formation in Price, and I thought it was wasteful for us to drive that far when we hardly did anything. On our way back to campus, I wrote my writeup for the field trip.
When I got home, I was sunburned and dirty, so I was glad to take a shower. I think I went grocery shopping. At one point, there was a knock on the door, and there was this black guy there. He was really nice, and I invited him in. He had some broken teeth, and he explained that he was trying to raise money to go to college. I decided to buy a children's dictionary to donate to charity. He explained that some girls he had been talking to arranged an appointment with him with missionaries. He saw the picture of the First Presidency on our wall, and I explained who they were. He said that many years before, he had met President Hinckley, who had given him a Book of Mormon, and he said that he afterwards learned that he was the Mormon equivalent of the Pope.
That night, I asked my roommates if they wanted to get mint Blizzards from Dairy Queen, since it would be my last time to have a milkshake until Halloween time, since I've never heard of Easter or Fourth of July shakes. They seemed keen on the idea. However, later, some girls came by with food from Sammy's to thank Scott for something. So Bryton and I went out, barely making it to Dairy Queen before they closed. "Some Nights" by fun. was playing on the radio, and Bryton said, "These are edgy lyrics," but it turned out he had misheard the lyrics. (It's still edgy, though.) We both got medium mint brownie Blizzards. When I got my change from the drive-thru window, they dropped it and I had to pick it up off the ground. Then Bryton and I went home, and we watched the "Leprechaun" episode of Bewitched. Scott came in too, and he said he could tell the actor wasn't Irish.
The next day, St. Patrick's Day, Scott was playing Handel music because he thought one song sounded jig-like. I put on my green pants and green socks, my orange belt, and my shamrock tie, and we went to church. Scott wanted to walk one particular way, but then he ended up talking with other girls, so I left him behind. I was looking at the ground, and my former home teachee Emily (who had moved out of the ward) said she loved me when she saw my outfit. I think I gave an inappropriate response. (Maybe that's why she unfriended me.) As I was walking up to church, David Jones complimented me on my pants, and then again on my socks. As I got up to our church room, Bishop saw me and said I was his hero for my outfit. When I was counting attendance, my horse friend Kristen gestured to my glasses and said she liked all my green. After sacrament meeting, a girl named Hannah said she liked that I was wearing orange as well, and she said St. Patrick's Day was one of her favorite holidays, and I said it was my least favorite. I had to go do something at some of the other Sunday School classes, so when I went to them, the teachers liked my outfit, and as I was walking in the Wilk, I heard someone say, "I think we have a winner," and I only assumed she was talking about me. When I left church, I was walking home and some people were yelling from a car. I couldn't hear them, but I assumed they were yelling at me. My elitist roommate Cameron was making green minty cookies for a party, but he couldn't find his food coloring (since Scott had used it to color milk and orange juice green), so I lent him mine. He told me that he liked that I had made everything in the fridge green, but I told him it wasn't me, so he said he would have to untag me from the picture on Facebook. Later I made dinner, and I listened to the Lower Lights while I did so. I had some trouble getting Scott's stereo to work, but I got it, and Cameron came home and told me he liked the music. I made a blog post about my day before.
The next day, I remember getting on Facebook at the library, since I had been fasting from it for a few days. After school, I pulled out my Easter decorations and put them out, and then I went to Smith's to get some Easter candy to put in my Easter jar. I think Cameron asked me if I was going to put out Easter stuff, not realizing that I had already done so.
March 15 was a Friday. That evening, I went to a historical geology test review. There was a problem with the review, because the TA had one answer on her key that was wrong. One girl had gone to take the test immediately after the review, and she told us of the problem. That night I walked home, talking to one of my classmates, Cameron, and as I got home, I told him I would see him in the morning, since we were going on a field trip.
We met at the ESC early on March 16. We loaded up in vans and drove off to go to Spanish Fork Canyon. One of my classmates, Chris, was driving, but he was nervous to do so, and he put his iPod in. We drove through Springville, and one of my classmates said we had passed his house--he could have slept in and just been picked up, rather than him having to drive to campus. We stopped by the windmills of Spanish Fork, and a freezing wind was blowing. A memorial cross was on the hill, and Dr. Britt joked, "Once there was a BYU student who froze to death on this field trip, and she is buried under that cross." Before we left that place, I asked Dr. Britt, "Are those faceted spurs?" and he confirmed that they were. Some vans took off, but they were driving in the wrong direction. Dr. Britt motioned for them to turn around, but they kept going in that direction. We drove to our next stop on the side of the road, where we looked at red shale with a few fossils in it. When we left, my van's driver was annoyed with Dr. Britt for driving fast onto the highway around a curve. We stopped at another place nearby, and we walked along looking at red, gray, and green shale. (I realized I couldn't see the green shale because I'm a little colorblind.) They showed us how to use geologic compasses; our TA said, "Is anyone here not a geology major?" I said I was just a minor, and she said, "I think geology minors need to take 210." I said they didn't, but I was going to take it anyway, so she said that everyone there needed to learn to use the compasses. Then we left and kept going to different places. oAt We went to a place with Triassic limestone, and we got out to find fossils. During a bathroom break, some girls brought back a toilet they had found at an abandoned house nearby. Finding fossils was a little rough. I found a small shell fossil, and when someone said they couldn't find any fossils, I told them I found a shell, but they thought I was talking about a snail shell that was not a fossil. I showed my findings to Dr. Britt, but not all of them were fossils. We were on a steep mountain near a pond that smelled like sulfur, and it was a very nice day. I found some very nice ripple marks, but I decided not to take the rock, so someone else did. That made me feel better. Eventually we had to stop someplace where we had to climb through a barbed wire fence to look at a tufa deposit--I had never heard of tufa before. I found a nice leaf fossil in the tufa, but the rock was too big for me to want to take it with me, especially since tufa is sharp. There was a fault across the road. Closer to Price, we saw some coal. We even stopped at a place where they had a bunch of salt for salting roads, and being geologists we licked some. Near the coal, my classmate Bart complimented me on my St. Patrick's Day shirt--he asked if it was St. Patrick's Day and if I was Irish. We looked at a formation in Price, and I thought it was wasteful for us to drive that far when we hardly did anything. On our way back to campus, I wrote my writeup for the field trip.
When I got home, I was sunburned and dirty, so I was glad to take a shower. I think I went grocery shopping. At one point, there was a knock on the door, and there was this black guy there. He was really nice, and I invited him in. He had some broken teeth, and he explained that he was trying to raise money to go to college. I decided to buy a children's dictionary to donate to charity. He explained that some girls he had been talking to arranged an appointment with him with missionaries. He saw the picture of the First Presidency on our wall, and I explained who they were. He said that many years before, he had met President Hinckley, who had given him a Book of Mormon, and he said that he afterwards learned that he was the Mormon equivalent of the Pope.
That night, I asked my roommates if they wanted to get mint Blizzards from Dairy Queen, since it would be my last time to have a milkshake until Halloween time, since I've never heard of Easter or Fourth of July shakes. They seemed keen on the idea. However, later, some girls came by with food from Sammy's to thank Scott for something. So Bryton and I went out, barely making it to Dairy Queen before they closed. "Some Nights" by fun. was playing on the radio, and Bryton said, "These are edgy lyrics," but it turned out he had misheard the lyrics. (It's still edgy, though.) We both got medium mint brownie Blizzards. When I got my change from the drive-thru window, they dropped it and I had to pick it up off the ground. Then Bryton and I went home, and we watched the "Leprechaun" episode of Bewitched. Scott came in too, and he said he could tell the actor wasn't Irish.
The next day, St. Patrick's Day, Scott was playing Handel music because he thought one song sounded jig-like. I put on my green pants and green socks, my orange belt, and my shamrock tie, and we went to church. Scott wanted to walk one particular way, but then he ended up talking with other girls, so I left him behind. I was looking at the ground, and my former home teachee Emily (who had moved out of the ward) said she loved me when she saw my outfit. I think I gave an inappropriate response. (Maybe that's why she unfriended me.) As I was walking up to church, David Jones complimented me on my pants, and then again on my socks. As I got up to our church room, Bishop saw me and said I was his hero for my outfit. When I was counting attendance, my horse friend Kristen gestured to my glasses and said she liked all my green. After sacrament meeting, a girl named Hannah said she liked that I was wearing orange as well, and she said St. Patrick's Day was one of her favorite holidays, and I said it was my least favorite. I had to go do something at some of the other Sunday School classes, so when I went to them, the teachers liked my outfit, and as I was walking in the Wilk, I heard someone say, "I think we have a winner," and I only assumed she was talking about me. When I left church, I was walking home and some people were yelling from a car. I couldn't hear them, but I assumed they were yelling at me. My elitist roommate Cameron was making green minty cookies for a party, but he couldn't find his food coloring (since Scott had used it to color milk and orange juice green), so I lent him mine. He told me that he liked that I had made everything in the fridge green, but I told him it wasn't me, so he said he would have to untag me from the picture on Facebook. Later I made dinner, and I listened to the Lower Lights while I did so. I had some trouble getting Scott's stereo to work, but I got it, and Cameron came home and told me he liked the music. I made a blog post about my day before.
The next day, I remember getting on Facebook at the library, since I had been fasting from it for a few days. After school, I pulled out my Easter decorations and put them out, and then I went to Smith's to get some Easter candy to put in my Easter jar. I think Cameron asked me if I was going to put out Easter stuff, not realizing that I had already done so.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Snakes
A dream/nightmare about an abundance of rattlesnakes led me to recall the times I have encountered snakes in the wild. This does not include snakes in captivity (especially since my brother used to own a snake).
When I was probably five years old, I was with my cousins Rayce and Krishelle in Fillmore Canyon. We were sitting and talking on a picnic table a little bit away from the adults, talking about scary animals, such as black panthers. Suddenly, we heard a noise, and we deduced that it was a rattlesnake, so we ran away. However, it very well might have been an insect or something else--I think the topic of conversation just made us a little paranoid.
Another year when I was young, my cousin Brandon or maybe my uncle Ken had caught a rattlesnake and killed it and cooked it. I think my brother David had some and said it tasted like chicken.
In fall 1997, we were camping again, and Brandon caught a rattler or two. He had a disturbing need to kill things, so he had the dead snake sitting on the pavement, its organs spread out and still beating. My mom asked him for the skin, so he gave it to her.
On my mission, I noticed a dead snake squashed on the road in the tiny town of Harrington, WA.
In August 2010, I was running in Bountiful, and I looked at the sidewalk and thought, "My, that's a huge worm!" But while I was above it--with one foot on either side--I realized it was too squirmy for a worm, so it was a small snake. It probably wasn't poisonous, and it was pretty small, so I wasn't scared.
But on September 11, 2010, my family was all camping near Scipio, Utah. We saw a bunch of people from the adjoining camp walking by. At the front of the group, someone was holding a large stick out in front of him with a large snake perched on it. Soon after, one of my uncles went over to that group and asked about it--it had been a rattlesnake in or near their campsite, so they transferred it away. I thought it was idiotic to carry the snake away like that, and I worried about it coming to our campsite.
I'm OK with not getting a good look at rattlesnakes.
When I was probably five years old, I was with my cousins Rayce and Krishelle in Fillmore Canyon. We were sitting and talking on a picnic table a little bit away from the adults, talking about scary animals, such as black panthers. Suddenly, we heard a noise, and we deduced that it was a rattlesnake, so we ran away. However, it very well might have been an insect or something else--I think the topic of conversation just made us a little paranoid.
Another year when I was young, my cousin Brandon or maybe my uncle Ken had caught a rattlesnake and killed it and cooked it. I think my brother David had some and said it tasted like chicken.
In fall 1997, we were camping again, and Brandon caught a rattler or two. He had a disturbing need to kill things, so he had the dead snake sitting on the pavement, its organs spread out and still beating. My mom asked him for the skin, so he gave it to her.
On my mission, I noticed a dead snake squashed on the road in the tiny town of Harrington, WA.
In August 2010, I was running in Bountiful, and I looked at the sidewalk and thought, "My, that's a huge worm!" But while I was above it--with one foot on either side--I realized it was too squirmy for a worm, so it was a small snake. It probably wasn't poisonous, and it was pretty small, so I wasn't scared.
But on September 11, 2010, my family was all camping near Scipio, Utah. We saw a bunch of people from the adjoining camp walking by. At the front of the group, someone was holding a large stick out in front of him with a large snake perched on it. Soon after, one of my uncles went over to that group and asked about it--it had been a rattlesnake in or near their campsite, so they transferred it away. I thought it was idiotic to carry the snake away like that, and I worried about it coming to our campsite.
I'm OK with not getting a good look at rattlesnakes.
Sunday, February 2, 2014
People talking about me
I find myself surprised when people talk about me when I'm not around. I'm going to remember the times in which I learn that someone talks about me when I'm not there--either by overhearing it or by someone telling me. However, I am not going to remember times in which a relative is involved in the conversation. This is when people who aren't related to me have talked about me.
When I was in sixth grade, I learned that our ward was going to do baptisms for the dead very early one Saturday morning. I determined that if I was to get enough sleep to get up at that time, I would have to go to bed at 6:00 on Friday night. I was telling people that I was going to have to go to bed that early that Friday. Someone asked me if my mom was making me do that, and I said no. Later, someone came up to me and said, "Is it true that your mom makes you go to bed at 6:00 every night?"
In high school, my friend David Christensen was telling me that a bunch of people were talking about seeing a play at Bountiful High, and one of them said they should invite me. (They didn't, though.)
On my mission, there were plenty of times when people talked about me. Before I got transferred to my second area, an elder in the adjoining area told my new companion that in the MTC I had slept with my arms crossed.
In my third area, one P-day I was talking to Sister Shaner in my district. She said that she had met me briefly when they had come to pick up Sister Shinn from Spokane. Sister Shinn, once they were in the car, said to her, "That's Elder Melville. He's so funny. He wants to be a vampire."
When I got my penultimate companion, Elder Warren, he told me that his previous companion, Elder Bates, had told him that I was a real stickler for rules, and that I wouldn't be tolerant of face cards. (Which is false. The "no face cards" thing may be the most idiotic Mormon culture thing ever. Even dumber than blessing donuts.) He had also heard about the vampire thing.
On Thanksgiving in 2009, we were having dinner at our bishop's house. There were some other Church members there, and they asked Elder Tamblyn if he was the one they heard had lost all the weight. But it was me.
Such incidents in college have surprised me most. One Sunday night my first semester, my roommate Jeff Anderson had just come back after being gone for the weekend. I was in bed, but I was still awake. I heard him ask another roommate, Jeff Clegg, if I had been there that weekend. That really surprised me--someone was talking about me when I wasn't around, and it was completely neutral!
I learned that my room-roommate James had complained to Jeff Clegg that I kept looking at him and wondered why I kept looking out the window. That James hated all people, and I was especially awkward at that time. I could have been a better roommate, but I definitely could have used a better one.
One night during finals week, I had gone to bed, and I heard Jeff Clegg saying we should go to some hot springs in Spanish Fork. He was going to come get us, but Jeff Anderson told him that I had a final the next morning at 7.
That summer, a friend named Lori offered me a ride home after institute. She told me that she had been in a group of people talking, and someone brought me up, and they said they loved me. But I found that doubtful.
In May 2012, some girls dropped off some cinnamon rolls at our apartment. I didn't eat any, because they weren't in season. Shortly thereafter, they came back, and I mentioned that I only eat seasonal desserts. One girl, Hanna, said, "Wait, is that why you didn't eat the cinnamon roll? 'Cause I know you didn't." What had happened, apparently, is that my roommate Cameron told another girl, Carissa, that I didn't eat it, because I "said it wasn't in season." So then Carissa told the other girls, and said, "He said it was because it wasn't in season. It was a joke." But she didn't know that it really wasn't a joke!
Later that summer, another girl, Michelle, texted me, saying that her roommate Ellie said she reminded her of me, because that day she was only eating orange things.
November 2012, when I went to Death Valley, I was talking with a girl named Rachel, and I told her my major was English language. The next day, when we were in the vans, one of my classmates said, "Rachel told me you're an English language major." (I was glad that the "language" part got transferred and it wasn't just "English.")
Last year, after I had slipped and broke my teeth, I was in bed, but I was having a hard time falling asleep. I kept reliving the fall in my head. My roommate Bryton came in, and since I was awake, I said something to him. He told me that our roommate Scott had just told him what had happened to me.
In December, my roommate Jordan had bought some Christmas socks and had them sitting on the table. My roommate Scott (different than the one I just talked about) pointed them out to me, and I said that I didn't like the penguin ones, because penguins don't have anything to do with Christmas. We had a little conversation about it. Then later, Jordan jokingly said he was offended that I said his penguins couldn't celebrate Christmas.
On December 8, this same Scott had a bunch of people over at our apartment for hot chocolate. One of these people made a comment about my lack of enthusiasm. He said that his roommates David and Ben would always talk about me after ward council. He also heard that I had some picture of a terrible singer--and thus I introduced him to Jan Terri.
Similarly, recently the above-mentioned Ben was talking to me, and he said that Scott had been at his apartment and was telling them about the picture I have of a terrible singer.
Last week, Scott had some people over at our apartment. I was in my bedroom, and I heard one of the guests talking about our Valentine decorations. Scott told her, "Mark is very organized" and said something about my holiday stuff.
On Friday night, there was a tri-stake activity, and I was going to go to it, but when I got there, I couldn't find parking, so I just left, because I didn't want to go that badly. I came home and told Scott. Then later that night, I was in my room and I heard him quoting me to someone else.
Of course, there was this incident that I blogged about recently, and since I don't want to tell it again, I'm just copying and pasting:
" Last semester in my corpus linguistics class, I introduced myself with the interesting fact that I only eat seasonal desserts and candies. This trait fascinated the class, so they kept asking me about it, even to the point that it would eat into my presentation time. Therefore, I created a page on my class website to answer questions about it, but people would still ask me about it before class. At one of the tables at the journal fair on Thursday, there were two girls. One of them had been in that class. Before I left, she offered me some of the Christmas and Valentine candy they had on the table, but then she realized that maybe I couldn't have it. Then the other girl said, "Are you the guy who..." She had heard about me. She thought the other girl had told her about me. But then she asked if I had a website, but the first girl didn't know about that, so then I found out that the second girl had actually heard about me from another girl from that class, a girl who seemed more fascinated by my habits than anyone else was. I explained that it was too late for Christmas candy but too early for Valentine candy, but they told me I could take some Valentine candy to eat later."
The girl who had told her about my habits is part of a student journal I'm working on, and last week she asked me if I was eating Valentine hearts, right before I left. As I was walking out, I heard her telling the editor in chief, "He's a really cool guy, and he only eats..." I looked back at them because I thought it was funny, but I didn't stick around to hear what she said.
Of course, my calling requires people to talk about me. First they had to talk about me to give me the calling, and then people I don't know come up to me to get forms so they can get reimbursed.
I'm sure there have been other times as well.
I would rather have people talk about me because I only eat seasonal desserts than talk about me because I want to be a vampire.
When I was in sixth grade, I learned that our ward was going to do baptisms for the dead very early one Saturday morning. I determined that if I was to get enough sleep to get up at that time, I would have to go to bed at 6:00 on Friday night. I was telling people that I was going to have to go to bed that early that Friday. Someone asked me if my mom was making me do that, and I said no. Later, someone came up to me and said, "Is it true that your mom makes you go to bed at 6:00 every night?"
In high school, my friend David Christensen was telling me that a bunch of people were talking about seeing a play at Bountiful High, and one of them said they should invite me. (They didn't, though.)
On my mission, there were plenty of times when people talked about me. Before I got transferred to my second area, an elder in the adjoining area told my new companion that in the MTC I had slept with my arms crossed.
In my third area, one P-day I was talking to Sister Shaner in my district. She said that she had met me briefly when they had come to pick up Sister Shinn from Spokane. Sister Shinn, once they were in the car, said to her, "That's Elder Melville. He's so funny. He wants to be a vampire."
When I got my penultimate companion, Elder Warren, he told me that his previous companion, Elder Bates, had told him that I was a real stickler for rules, and that I wouldn't be tolerant of face cards. (Which is false. The "no face cards" thing may be the most idiotic Mormon culture thing ever. Even dumber than blessing donuts.) He had also heard about the vampire thing.
On Thanksgiving in 2009, we were having dinner at our bishop's house. There were some other Church members there, and they asked Elder Tamblyn if he was the one they heard had lost all the weight. But it was me.
Such incidents in college have surprised me most. One Sunday night my first semester, my roommate Jeff Anderson had just come back after being gone for the weekend. I was in bed, but I was still awake. I heard him ask another roommate, Jeff Clegg, if I had been there that weekend. That really surprised me--someone was talking about me when I wasn't around, and it was completely neutral!
I learned that my room-roommate James had complained to Jeff Clegg that I kept looking at him and wondered why I kept looking out the window. That James hated all people, and I was especially awkward at that time. I could have been a better roommate, but I definitely could have used a better one.
One night during finals week, I had gone to bed, and I heard Jeff Clegg saying we should go to some hot springs in Spanish Fork. He was going to come get us, but Jeff Anderson told him that I had a final the next morning at 7.
That summer, a friend named Lori offered me a ride home after institute. She told me that she had been in a group of people talking, and someone brought me up, and they said they loved me. But I found that doubtful.
In May 2012, some girls dropped off some cinnamon rolls at our apartment. I didn't eat any, because they weren't in season. Shortly thereafter, they came back, and I mentioned that I only eat seasonal desserts. One girl, Hanna, said, "Wait, is that why you didn't eat the cinnamon roll? 'Cause I know you didn't." What had happened, apparently, is that my roommate Cameron told another girl, Carissa, that I didn't eat it, because I "said it wasn't in season." So then Carissa told the other girls, and said, "He said it was because it wasn't in season. It was a joke." But she didn't know that it really wasn't a joke!
Later that summer, another girl, Michelle, texted me, saying that her roommate Ellie said she reminded her of me, because that day she was only eating orange things.
November 2012, when I went to Death Valley, I was talking with a girl named Rachel, and I told her my major was English language. The next day, when we were in the vans, one of my classmates said, "Rachel told me you're an English language major." (I was glad that the "language" part got transferred and it wasn't just "English.")
Last year, after I had slipped and broke my teeth, I was in bed, but I was having a hard time falling asleep. I kept reliving the fall in my head. My roommate Bryton came in, and since I was awake, I said something to him. He told me that our roommate Scott had just told him what had happened to me.
In December, my roommate Jordan had bought some Christmas socks and had them sitting on the table. My roommate Scott (different than the one I just talked about) pointed them out to me, and I said that I didn't like the penguin ones, because penguins don't have anything to do with Christmas. We had a little conversation about it. Then later, Jordan jokingly said he was offended that I said his penguins couldn't celebrate Christmas.
On December 8, this same Scott had a bunch of people over at our apartment for hot chocolate. One of these people made a comment about my lack of enthusiasm. He said that his roommates David and Ben would always talk about me after ward council. He also heard that I had some picture of a terrible singer--and thus I introduced him to Jan Terri.
Similarly, recently the above-mentioned Ben was talking to me, and he said that Scott had been at his apartment and was telling them about the picture I have of a terrible singer.
Last week, Scott had some people over at our apartment. I was in my bedroom, and I heard one of the guests talking about our Valentine decorations. Scott told her, "Mark is very organized" and said something about my holiday stuff.
On Friday night, there was a tri-stake activity, and I was going to go to it, but when I got there, I couldn't find parking, so I just left, because I didn't want to go that badly. I came home and told Scott. Then later that night, I was in my room and I heard him quoting me to someone else.
Of course, there was this incident that I blogged about recently, and since I don't want to tell it again, I'm just copying and pasting:
" Last semester in my corpus linguistics class, I introduced myself with the interesting fact that I only eat seasonal desserts and candies. This trait fascinated the class, so they kept asking me about it, even to the point that it would eat into my presentation time. Therefore, I created a page on my class website to answer questions about it, but people would still ask me about it before class. At one of the tables at the journal fair on Thursday, there were two girls. One of them had been in that class. Before I left, she offered me some of the Christmas and Valentine candy they had on the table, but then she realized that maybe I couldn't have it. Then the other girl said, "Are you the guy who..." She had heard about me. She thought the other girl had told her about me. But then she asked if I had a website, but the first girl didn't know about that, so then I found out that the second girl had actually heard about me from another girl from that class, a girl who seemed more fascinated by my habits than anyone else was. I explained that it was too late for Christmas candy but too early for Valentine candy, but they told me I could take some Valentine candy to eat later."
The girl who had told her about my habits is part of a student journal I'm working on, and last week she asked me if I was eating Valentine hearts, right before I left. As I was walking out, I heard her telling the editor in chief, "He's a really cool guy, and he only eats..." I looked back at them because I thought it was funny, but I didn't stick around to hear what she said.
Of course, my calling requires people to talk about me. First they had to talk about me to give me the calling, and then people I don't know come up to me to get forms so they can get reimbursed.
I'm sure there have been other times as well.
I would rather have people talk about me because I only eat seasonal desserts than talk about me because I want to be a vampire.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Groundhog Day
Although I think Groundhog Day is the most pointless day printed on the calendar, I'm still going to try to remember what I can about it.
2013. In the day, my wardie Morgan Crockett and I had to go out knocking on people's doors to get them to sign up on our ward website. I didn't have a tablet or a smart phone, so I was less efficient, and several people lied to me about whether they'd sign up. (Remember that question, "Are you honest in your dealings?") While Morgan was talking to people at the Elite complex, I was standing out on the sidewalk, kicking ice around to try to get it to melt. I looked up at the mountains in the east, and I watched a van drive down the road, and I began to think that it was too incredible that our world happened by chance.
2011. That evening, I went to a test review session for my astronomy class in the BNSN. There was a girl there with some vending machine pretzels, and we were talking about the winter solstice. The TA said, "The sun is highest in the sky at the winter solstice." The pretzel girl said, completely serious, "Is that in August?" The TA politely responded to her question, but I couldn't believe a university student was asking such a question! Then I went to the humanities computer lab in the JFSB and posted the story on the Overheard at BYU Facebook page. I think I had to work on a project for my Web publishing class, and then I probably went to institute.
2010. My family came down to Provo because they needed to get our Subaru, since it wasn't working. When I got in the Suburban, Allie looked greedily at my planner, because for some reason she loved to look at my planner. Part of the object in her coming was for me to observe her speech for my introductory ELang class, and I got to observe those things. She said something to me, and said, "Do you renember [sic] that?" They took me to dinner at Brick Oven. I got a meal that came with a cookie, and when I got it, Allie began looking greedily (again) at it, sticking her tongue out. Susanne saw what she was doing, and said, "No!" But I gave her a piece of the cookie anyway, and she said the chocolate chip tasted like Nutella. (I was less strict about eating seasonal desserts then.) They asked Allie what her favorite February holiday was, and she said, "Valentime's [sic] Day and Groundog [sic] Day." Then we got back to my apartment, and they called a tow truck to take the car. I had to take Allie up to my apartment to use the bathroom. Then Allie was sitting on her mom's lap in the car, and Susanne pulled the door shut, and it closed on Allie's fingers. She began crying, so Susanne asked me if I could get some ice for her fingers. My mom also needed to use the bathroom, so she was following me up the stairs. I went really fast to get Allie's ice, and my mom got mad. My going faster than my mom didn't do much good, though, because my mom ended up taking the ice back down anyway. I asked my roommate James if she could use our bathroom, so he left the bedroom. As my mom was leaving, she asked him if he was keeping me in line (or something like that), and I thought it was awkward, because James hated all people. Later James asked me about my dinner and what I got. He didn't know Brick Oven served anything besides pizza.
2009. I remember our dinner at the Johnsons', a recently converted family whose daughter was getting baptized that week. They served us a meal that was tater tots on sour cream. I had tater tot casseroles multiple times in that area (but never before and never after), but I didn't like this one. Neither I nor Elder Wilson liked sour cream, but we pretended to like it. They offered us soda, and I didn't want one, but Elder Wilson wanted a Mountain Dew, and the nine-year-old daughter Danielle had a meltdown because she didn't get a Mountain Dew. Elder Wilson felt bad, but Jason (the dad) told him not to worry. Then we went over to the church to have them try on baptismal suits. This is my journal entry for the day:
"Today was a rather boring P-day. Elder Colton took almost two hours to email, and then we went to Spokane so they could play basketball. I was not pleased with the topics of conversation today. I think Elder Colton and Elder Wilson bring out the worst in each other. Elder Colton was shocked when I tried to bite him last night, but I warned him to be quiet.
"But the Johnsons had us for dinner--which was just all right--and then we went to the church so they could try on baptismal clothes. They seem really excited."
2008. The zone leaders came to the house where we lived, and we watched President Hinckley's funeral on TV. Then Elder Gammon stayed in the area to work with me. We were walking around, and Elder Gammon said he felt impressed to knock on a house on Peone, but no one was home. When we were walking back to our house, he asked me if I shared the gospel with my friends before my mission. I told him that I didn't have any friends, but he didn't believe me. "Everyone has friends," he said, so I asked how he would define a friend. He said it was someone who you did things with. I told him that by that definition, I didn't have any friends. I told him a few anecdotes of irresponsible gospel sharing that I had done (or hadn't done). Then we drove over to a dinner appointment in the Northpointe Ward, and we tracted that street. The first guy told us not to come back. Another lady was not interested and said she had lived in Ogden. We knocked on one house and they didn't answer, but we heard a teenage boy say something like "I'm not a slut!" The next house was a member house. I was going to skip it, but Elder Gammon suggested talking to them anyway. So we knocked, and they let us in. We told them about our tracting experiences, and I relayed the experience we had had at the previous house, but I didn't realize that it probably wasn't appropriate for me to say that in their house. I asked how long it had been since the street had been tracted, and they said it was about a year. (That was my first area, so I thought that was too recent for comfort, but in later areas, I would have loved to find a street that hadn't been tracted in that time.) After dinner, a member in the Greenbluff Ward called and asked if we could come over. So I drove to their house, and they gave us some cinnamon rolls. We were meeting up with the other elders at Cold Stone, so Elder Gammon and I waited there. The last time we had met there, we had gotten ice cream, so I thought we were going to that time. Elder Gammon asked me, while we were waiting, if we should pray to start our fast. I said I wanted to wait, and he guessed that I wanted to get ice cream. But I said I wanted to wait for Elder Chun. We didn't get any ice cream. This is my journal entry for the day:
"Today the zone leaders came here and we watched President Hinckley's funeral and had lunch with the Welshes. Then Elder Gammon stayed with me in our area. We walked to a referral who wasn't home but we stopped by a less-active on our way back. Then we tracted around our dinner appointment and had a member visit after Tina Andersen, the lady to whom we gave a blessing after her car crash, gave us cinnamon rolls."
1997. Our primary chorister, Karen Brunner, had some sort of Groundhog Day activity for us in primary. She loved clipart, so she had a clipart groundhog, and then she had some pieces of paper that had the sun shining on the groundhog (meaning more winter), or a cloud preventing shadows (meaning spring). I don't remember what the point of it was.
1996. I think it was snowing, so when our principal, Mrs. Park, gave morning announcements, she said the groundhog must have seen its shadow.
1995. My mom told me that the groundhog hadn't seen its shadow, and everyone seemed to kind of think it was a big deal. I had never heard of Groundhog Day.
2013. In the day, my wardie Morgan Crockett and I had to go out knocking on people's doors to get them to sign up on our ward website. I didn't have a tablet or a smart phone, so I was less efficient, and several people lied to me about whether they'd sign up. (Remember that question, "Are you honest in your dealings?") While Morgan was talking to people at the Elite complex, I was standing out on the sidewalk, kicking ice around to try to get it to melt. I looked up at the mountains in the east, and I watched a van drive down the road, and I began to think that it was too incredible that our world happened by chance.
2011. That evening, I went to a test review session for my astronomy class in the BNSN. There was a girl there with some vending machine pretzels, and we were talking about the winter solstice. The TA said, "The sun is highest in the sky at the winter solstice." The pretzel girl said, completely serious, "Is that in August?" The TA politely responded to her question, but I couldn't believe a university student was asking such a question! Then I went to the humanities computer lab in the JFSB and posted the story on the Overheard at BYU Facebook page. I think I had to work on a project for my Web publishing class, and then I probably went to institute.
2010. My family came down to Provo because they needed to get our Subaru, since it wasn't working. When I got in the Suburban, Allie looked greedily at my planner, because for some reason she loved to look at my planner. Part of the object in her coming was for me to observe her speech for my introductory ELang class, and I got to observe those things. She said something to me, and said, "Do you renember [sic] that?" They took me to dinner at Brick Oven. I got a meal that came with a cookie, and when I got it, Allie began looking greedily (again) at it, sticking her tongue out. Susanne saw what she was doing, and said, "No!" But I gave her a piece of the cookie anyway, and she said the chocolate chip tasted like Nutella. (I was less strict about eating seasonal desserts then.) They asked Allie what her favorite February holiday was, and she said, "Valentime's [sic] Day and Groundog [sic] Day." Then we got back to my apartment, and they called a tow truck to take the car. I had to take Allie up to my apartment to use the bathroom. Then Allie was sitting on her mom's lap in the car, and Susanne pulled the door shut, and it closed on Allie's fingers. She began crying, so Susanne asked me if I could get some ice for her fingers. My mom also needed to use the bathroom, so she was following me up the stairs. I went really fast to get Allie's ice, and my mom got mad. My going faster than my mom didn't do much good, though, because my mom ended up taking the ice back down anyway. I asked my roommate James if she could use our bathroom, so he left the bedroom. As my mom was leaving, she asked him if he was keeping me in line (or something like that), and I thought it was awkward, because James hated all people. Later James asked me about my dinner and what I got. He didn't know Brick Oven served anything besides pizza.
2009. I remember our dinner at the Johnsons', a recently converted family whose daughter was getting baptized that week. They served us a meal that was tater tots on sour cream. I had tater tot casseroles multiple times in that area (but never before and never after), but I didn't like this one. Neither I nor Elder Wilson liked sour cream, but we pretended to like it. They offered us soda, and I didn't want one, but Elder Wilson wanted a Mountain Dew, and the nine-year-old daughter Danielle had a meltdown because she didn't get a Mountain Dew. Elder Wilson felt bad, but Jason (the dad) told him not to worry. Then we went over to the church to have them try on baptismal suits. This is my journal entry for the day:
"Today was a rather boring P-day. Elder Colton took almost two hours to email, and then we went to Spokane so they could play basketball. I was not pleased with the topics of conversation today. I think Elder Colton and Elder Wilson bring out the worst in each other. Elder Colton was shocked when I tried to bite him last night, but I warned him to be quiet.
"But the Johnsons had us for dinner--which was just all right--and then we went to the church so they could try on baptismal clothes. They seem really excited."
2008. The zone leaders came to the house where we lived, and we watched President Hinckley's funeral on TV. Then Elder Gammon stayed in the area to work with me. We were walking around, and Elder Gammon said he felt impressed to knock on a house on Peone, but no one was home. When we were walking back to our house, he asked me if I shared the gospel with my friends before my mission. I told him that I didn't have any friends, but he didn't believe me. "Everyone has friends," he said, so I asked how he would define a friend. He said it was someone who you did things with. I told him that by that definition, I didn't have any friends. I told him a few anecdotes of irresponsible gospel sharing that I had done (or hadn't done). Then we drove over to a dinner appointment in the Northpointe Ward, and we tracted that street. The first guy told us not to come back. Another lady was not interested and said she had lived in Ogden. We knocked on one house and they didn't answer, but we heard a teenage boy say something like "I'm not a slut!" The next house was a member house. I was going to skip it, but Elder Gammon suggested talking to them anyway. So we knocked, and they let us in. We told them about our tracting experiences, and I relayed the experience we had had at the previous house, but I didn't realize that it probably wasn't appropriate for me to say that in their house. I asked how long it had been since the street had been tracted, and they said it was about a year. (That was my first area, so I thought that was too recent for comfort, but in later areas, I would have loved to find a street that hadn't been tracted in that time.) After dinner, a member in the Greenbluff Ward called and asked if we could come over. So I drove to their house, and they gave us some cinnamon rolls. We were meeting up with the other elders at Cold Stone, so Elder Gammon and I waited there. The last time we had met there, we had gotten ice cream, so I thought we were going to that time. Elder Gammon asked me, while we were waiting, if we should pray to start our fast. I said I wanted to wait, and he guessed that I wanted to get ice cream. But I said I wanted to wait for Elder Chun. We didn't get any ice cream. This is my journal entry for the day:
"Today the zone leaders came here and we watched President Hinckley's funeral and had lunch with the Welshes. Then Elder Gammon stayed with me in our area. We walked to a referral who wasn't home but we stopped by a less-active on our way back. Then we tracted around our dinner appointment and had a member visit after Tina Andersen, the lady to whom we gave a blessing after her car crash, gave us cinnamon rolls."
1997. Our primary chorister, Karen Brunner, had some sort of Groundhog Day activity for us in primary. She loved clipart, so she had a clipart groundhog, and then she had some pieces of paper that had the sun shining on the groundhog (meaning more winter), or a cloud preventing shadows (meaning spring). I don't remember what the point of it was.
1996. I think it was snowing, so when our principal, Mrs. Park, gave morning announcements, she said the groundhog must have seen its shadow.
1995. My mom told me that the groundhog hadn't seen its shadow, and everyone seemed to kind of think it was a big deal. I had never heard of Groundhog Day.
Sunday, January 19, 2014
February 13-15, 2013
I am going to remember last year's Valentine's Day, and the days
before and after it. I was going to remember Lincoln's Birthday as well,
but I couldn't really remember it.
On February 13, I watched A Charlie Brown Valentine, and then I read from Hamlet for class the next day. I found it appropriate that I read the scene where Ophelia went crazy and recited the verse about "Tomorrow is Saint Valentine's Day."
On February 14, I went to my phonetics class. One guy was wearing a shirt that was blue and pink. He said it looked like someone had thrown up candy hearts on his shirt. Usually I stayed on campus all day, but for some reason that morning I went home. As I was walking home, I saw Alex, who lived across the hall from me. We talked with each other as we walked home, and when we were almost home, I saw a car with a pine tree strapped to the top! I only expect to see that in November and December--not February. Later I went back up to campus. I was working in the library that day, and on my way to the library I saw my old roommate Jeff Anderson. I said hi to him, but he must have been in a hurry, because he said something about how I was still going to be around (at BYU) for a while and walked off. I went in the library and I walked past some people who were getting ready to water the library's plants. One of them was a girl whom I had been on a date with two weeks earlier. I walked past, but I figured when I walked back, I would say hi to her. I clocked in, and then I saw her walking away with a pitcher of water, and I wanted to say hi, but she walked away too fast--so later that day I texted her and wished her a Happy Valentine's Day. I went down to the second floor, where they had just gotten done with some Valentine event in which they gave out t-shirts and cookies. If I had been just a little earlier, I could have gotten some. I worked on some source checking, and then it came time for my Early Modern English class. Our professor, Dr. Hallen, had a little box of conversation hearts someone had given her, so she passed the box around for us to have some. That afternoon I went to Papa Murphy's to get a heart-shaped pizza (I think I called first to see if they had them). When I got there, it was super busy and I had to wait a long time. I'm not going to do that again. Then I went home, and I watched Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown after I cooked the pizza.
On February 15, I went to my historical geology class, and our professor, Dr. Britt, mentioned the meteor that had hit Russia that day. Then after class, I went to the Eyring, and since I was now permitted to eat green things, I was delighted to see mint brownie ice cream in the vending machine. So I got some, but I didn't have a spoon, so I went over to the JFSB to see if there was a spoon over there I could use. There wasn't, so I took a plastic ruler out of my backpack, rinsed it off, and used it as a spoon. Then it came time for my geology of planets of class. Dr. Radebaugh showed us clips of the Russian meteor (and I think my classmate Michael might have shown me first). It just so happened that it was also the day another meteor was coming close to earth, so we watched coverage of that with Bill Nye. Dr. Radebaugh needed to move on with class, and I was disappointed we didn't get to see the meteor get to its closest point. That afternoon I drove home. I went with my mom to Jo Ann's in Centerville, and I wanted to get some kind of St. Patrick's Day decoration. This was a new location, and the aisles were much smaller than in their old store, and I didn't like it. I was looking at a St. Patrick's Day rug, and there was another lady in the aisle. I left so she could get through, and she said she felt bad because it seemed like I quit looking at the rug just to let her past. But it was OK. I settled for a set of shamrock lights, and at the checkout we got some green mint M&Ms. Then we stopped at Taco Bell and got some things to take home for dinner.
On February 13, I watched A Charlie Brown Valentine, and then I read from Hamlet for class the next day. I found it appropriate that I read the scene where Ophelia went crazy and recited the verse about "Tomorrow is Saint Valentine's Day."
On February 14, I went to my phonetics class. One guy was wearing a shirt that was blue and pink. He said it looked like someone had thrown up candy hearts on his shirt. Usually I stayed on campus all day, but for some reason that morning I went home. As I was walking home, I saw Alex, who lived across the hall from me. We talked with each other as we walked home, and when we were almost home, I saw a car with a pine tree strapped to the top! I only expect to see that in November and December--not February. Later I went back up to campus. I was working in the library that day, and on my way to the library I saw my old roommate Jeff Anderson. I said hi to him, but he must have been in a hurry, because he said something about how I was still going to be around (at BYU) for a while and walked off. I went in the library and I walked past some people who were getting ready to water the library's plants. One of them was a girl whom I had been on a date with two weeks earlier. I walked past, but I figured when I walked back, I would say hi to her. I clocked in, and then I saw her walking away with a pitcher of water, and I wanted to say hi, but she walked away too fast--so later that day I texted her and wished her a Happy Valentine's Day. I went down to the second floor, where they had just gotten done with some Valentine event in which they gave out t-shirts and cookies. If I had been just a little earlier, I could have gotten some. I worked on some source checking, and then it came time for my Early Modern English class. Our professor, Dr. Hallen, had a little box of conversation hearts someone had given her, so she passed the box around for us to have some. That afternoon I went to Papa Murphy's to get a heart-shaped pizza (I think I called first to see if they had them). When I got there, it was super busy and I had to wait a long time. I'm not going to do that again. Then I went home, and I watched Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown after I cooked the pizza.
On February 15, I went to my historical geology class, and our professor, Dr. Britt, mentioned the meteor that had hit Russia that day. Then after class, I went to the Eyring, and since I was now permitted to eat green things, I was delighted to see mint brownie ice cream in the vending machine. So I got some, but I didn't have a spoon, so I went over to the JFSB to see if there was a spoon over there I could use. There wasn't, so I took a plastic ruler out of my backpack, rinsed it off, and used it as a spoon. Then it came time for my geology of planets of class. Dr. Radebaugh showed us clips of the Russian meteor (and I think my classmate Michael might have shown me first). It just so happened that it was also the day another meteor was coming close to earth, so we watched coverage of that with Bill Nye. Dr. Radebaugh needed to move on with class, and I was disappointed we didn't get to see the meteor get to its closest point. That afternoon I drove home. I went with my mom to Jo Ann's in Centerville, and I wanted to get some kind of St. Patrick's Day decoration. This was a new location, and the aisles were much smaller than in their old store, and I didn't like it. I was looking at a St. Patrick's Day rug, and there was another lady in the aisle. I left so she could get through, and she said she felt bad because it seemed like I quit looking at the rug just to let her past. But it was OK. I settled for a set of shamrock lights, and at the checkout we got some green mint M&Ms. Then we stopped at Taco Bell and got some things to take home for dinner.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Drunkards
D.A.R.E. and the Word of Wisdom have made me not want to drink--but my run-ins with drunk people (as well as watching YouTube videos of drunk people doing idiotic things) really made me realize what a bad idea drinking is. And I know that if I drank, I would be a total wine-o and get addicted fast. So no alcyhol for me. Here's why.
My first run-in with a drunk woman happened when I was four or five. There was a woman who was friends with my grandparents, and she had just flown in. My mom says that the flight attendant wouldn't let her leave until she knew someone was taking her, she was so tipsy. She had come in to visit my grandparents, but my grandpa was a bishop, and they were having a meeting at their house. My mom didn't find it fitting to let this woman interrupt a bishop's meeting, so she watched over this woman for a few hours. I remember her asking my mom if she could smoke in the car; she used the cigarette lighter for that very purpose. We went to Burger King for dinner, and we went to a park (my mom says it was for my sake, since it was rather odd for me to be around this drunk lady). When we got out of the car, I remember the woman saying "I'm free!!" (I think in the context of her no longer being in jail). At one point, I came up the hill where the adults were sitting, and I was huffing. The souse mimicked me, and I said, "You're mean!" I don't think it was just that one incident; I think I had felt that way the whole night, and that time was the last straw. Eventually we drove to my grandparents' house, but the meeting was still going on, and my mom wasn't going to let the woman go in.
I can't recall other incidents with drunks until my mission--and then I had a lot of them. One day I was on an exchange, and a guy answered the door. My temporary companion told me he was drunk, but I wasn't able to recognize drunks at that point.
A little later, we began teaching a man named Mark who had no control over his addictions. He smoked and drank excessively, and because of him, I can no longer smell the difference between cigarettes and beer--they're just the same in my mind. He was always drunk when we saw him. Once he wanted us to go over to Borders to buy a book for him. It was Sunday (but we wouldn't have bought it for him anyway), so we told him no, and he said we couldn't come back if we didn't buy it for him. When we met him, he had very long hair and a beard, so Elder Chun offered to clean him up. We took clippers over, and Elder Chun cut his hair. I shaved his beard. We did this while he was drunk. He seemed appreciative of us, but the next time he wasn't happy. His member friend came over, and he complained, "He ****ed up my hair!" (We quit seeing him, but I think he did quit drinking.)
Later I went to East Wenatchee. On the Fourth of July, we passed a woman puking in the bushes.
Soon thereafter, my companion's two years were up, so I was spending time with the adjacent elders until I got my new companion. On P-day we got out of our car to go shopping at Fred Meyer. I don't remember what we were talking about, but there was this lady wearing tight pants and really poofy hair who said to us, "I heard that! Now which one of you is an Indian?" We were all kind of perplexed, because we were not saying anything related to Indians. Then she began to do this weird trot in the opposite direction, and then she stopped, looked up to the sky, and said, "I'm not drunk!" My thought was, "We never said you were, but now that you mention it..." That became a running joke from then on.
Later that summer, my companion and I were walking down the street when we met this guy standing in his yard. He had no shirt on, his smiley-face boxers peeking out at the waist of his loose jeans. He had a younger friend with him wearing a Mighty Mouse shirt (I think the only shirt he owned). I think the smell of alcohol was what gave him away as drunk. We began a gospel conversation with us, and he brought up the passage in the Bible that said "Sun" instead of "Son"; I knew he was talking about Malachi. He became very adamant that we should observe the sabbath on Saturday, not Sunday. He began talking to us loudly and forcefully, and told us "Go, and sin no more!" So we began to leave. But then he invited us back. I began talking with him, while my companion was talking to the friend. Suddenly, he quit talking and looked away, concerned. I looked over, and two policemen were approaching us. Apparently a neighbor had heard him yelling at us. I was appreciative that strangers were concerned about our well-being. This man (Terry was his name) apologized for not having a belt for his pants, and he explained that he was talking loudly because he had a sore throat. I found that an incredibly lame excuse. I didn't feel threatened, but I would have gladly left. Elder Duncan, however, set it up for us to stay. (Terry turned out to be just as crazy when he was sober.)
The following summer, I was serving in Lewiston, ID. One night I was on exchanges, and we talked to this guy who was in his yard. He told us that he didn't need to go to church because his garden was his church. We learned that week in ward council that he was drunk every night (he was married to a less-active member).
We also covered Lapwai, an Indian reservation. Unfortunately, the Indian stereotypes are often true, and one day we were biking down the road when we saw a middle-aged Indian staggering down the sidewalk. Elder Warren (who was half-Indian himself) found it hilarious.
One September day, we were tracting in Lewiston. We began talking to a man who was sitting on his back porch. He was very friendly, but there was a huge pile of empty beer cans next to him. We were talking to him, and he had to keep asking who we were. He told us that the first Christian church was Joseph and Mary and Baby Jesus in the stable. He began "summarizing" the beliefs of different Christian denominations. Lewiston is situated in the Lewis-Clark Valley, so he told us that Lewis and Clark were actually Adolf Hitler and Franklin Roosevelt out exploring together when they were younger. He even remembered who was who. I had the hardest time keeping myself from laughing.
One October Saturday found us in Lapwai again. This guy came up to us, and Elder Tamblyn was wearing sunglasses. He told us that he hated God because God took his son away. He had put his son before God, so God took him away. He told Elder Tamblyn that "a Christian man" shouldn't wear "black eyes" (sunglasses). He kept telling us he wasn't drunk. We told him we would talk to him when he was sober, but he kept insisting he wasn't drunk.
On another occasion, Elder Tamblyn and I went back to the house where I had met the guy who said his garden was his church. The wife was very friendly and invited us in, but her drunk husband was in the other room, and he kept yelling out unfriendly comments, and they had to shush him. They had an elementary-school-aged son, as well as some other kids. I felt so bad for the wife and kids that they had this loser addict of a husband/father. They were obviously embarrassed by his actions. This family was a prime example of how drinking can ruin lives and families.
I can't recall running into drunks since I've been home--but it might have happened.
My first run-in with a drunk woman happened when I was four or five. There was a woman who was friends with my grandparents, and she had just flown in. My mom says that the flight attendant wouldn't let her leave until she knew someone was taking her, she was so tipsy. She had come in to visit my grandparents, but my grandpa was a bishop, and they were having a meeting at their house. My mom didn't find it fitting to let this woman interrupt a bishop's meeting, so she watched over this woman for a few hours. I remember her asking my mom if she could smoke in the car; she used the cigarette lighter for that very purpose. We went to Burger King for dinner, and we went to a park (my mom says it was for my sake, since it was rather odd for me to be around this drunk lady). When we got out of the car, I remember the woman saying "I'm free!!" (I think in the context of her no longer being in jail). At one point, I came up the hill where the adults were sitting, and I was huffing. The souse mimicked me, and I said, "You're mean!" I don't think it was just that one incident; I think I had felt that way the whole night, and that time was the last straw. Eventually we drove to my grandparents' house, but the meeting was still going on, and my mom wasn't going to let the woman go in.
I can't recall other incidents with drunks until my mission--and then I had a lot of them. One day I was on an exchange, and a guy answered the door. My temporary companion told me he was drunk, but I wasn't able to recognize drunks at that point.
A little later, we began teaching a man named Mark who had no control over his addictions. He smoked and drank excessively, and because of him, I can no longer smell the difference between cigarettes and beer--they're just the same in my mind. He was always drunk when we saw him. Once he wanted us to go over to Borders to buy a book for him. It was Sunday (but we wouldn't have bought it for him anyway), so we told him no, and he said we couldn't come back if we didn't buy it for him. When we met him, he had very long hair and a beard, so Elder Chun offered to clean him up. We took clippers over, and Elder Chun cut his hair. I shaved his beard. We did this while he was drunk. He seemed appreciative of us, but the next time he wasn't happy. His member friend came over, and he complained, "He ****ed up my hair!" (We quit seeing him, but I think he did quit drinking.)
Later I went to East Wenatchee. On the Fourth of July, we passed a woman puking in the bushes.
Soon thereafter, my companion's two years were up, so I was spending time with the adjacent elders until I got my new companion. On P-day we got out of our car to go shopping at Fred Meyer. I don't remember what we were talking about, but there was this lady wearing tight pants and really poofy hair who said to us, "I heard that! Now which one of you is an Indian?" We were all kind of perplexed, because we were not saying anything related to Indians. Then she began to do this weird trot in the opposite direction, and then she stopped, looked up to the sky, and said, "I'm not drunk!" My thought was, "We never said you were, but now that you mention it..." That became a running joke from then on.
Later that summer, my companion and I were walking down the street when we met this guy standing in his yard. He had no shirt on, his smiley-face boxers peeking out at the waist of his loose jeans. He had a younger friend with him wearing a Mighty Mouse shirt (I think the only shirt he owned). I think the smell of alcohol was what gave him away as drunk. We began a gospel conversation with us, and he brought up the passage in the Bible that said "Sun" instead of "Son"; I knew he was talking about Malachi. He became very adamant that we should observe the sabbath on Saturday, not Sunday. He began talking to us loudly and forcefully, and told us "Go, and sin no more!" So we began to leave. But then he invited us back. I began talking with him, while my companion was talking to the friend. Suddenly, he quit talking and looked away, concerned. I looked over, and two policemen were approaching us. Apparently a neighbor had heard him yelling at us. I was appreciative that strangers were concerned about our well-being. This man (Terry was his name) apologized for not having a belt for his pants, and he explained that he was talking loudly because he had a sore throat. I found that an incredibly lame excuse. I didn't feel threatened, but I would have gladly left. Elder Duncan, however, set it up for us to stay. (Terry turned out to be just as crazy when he was sober.)
The following summer, I was serving in Lewiston, ID. One night I was on exchanges, and we talked to this guy who was in his yard. He told us that he didn't need to go to church because his garden was his church. We learned that week in ward council that he was drunk every night (he was married to a less-active member).
We also covered Lapwai, an Indian reservation. Unfortunately, the Indian stereotypes are often true, and one day we were biking down the road when we saw a middle-aged Indian staggering down the sidewalk. Elder Warren (who was half-Indian himself) found it hilarious.
One September day, we were tracting in Lewiston. We began talking to a man who was sitting on his back porch. He was very friendly, but there was a huge pile of empty beer cans next to him. We were talking to him, and he had to keep asking who we were. He told us that the first Christian church was Joseph and Mary and Baby Jesus in the stable. He began "summarizing" the beliefs of different Christian denominations. Lewiston is situated in the Lewis-Clark Valley, so he told us that Lewis and Clark were actually Adolf Hitler and Franklin Roosevelt out exploring together when they were younger. He even remembered who was who. I had the hardest time keeping myself from laughing.
One October Saturday found us in Lapwai again. This guy came up to us, and Elder Tamblyn was wearing sunglasses. He told us that he hated God because God took his son away. He had put his son before God, so God took him away. He told Elder Tamblyn that "a Christian man" shouldn't wear "black eyes" (sunglasses). He kept telling us he wasn't drunk. We told him we would talk to him when he was sober, but he kept insisting he wasn't drunk.
On another occasion, Elder Tamblyn and I went back to the house where I had met the guy who said his garden was his church. The wife was very friendly and invited us in, but her drunk husband was in the other room, and he kept yelling out unfriendly comments, and they had to shush him. They had an elementary-school-aged son, as well as some other kids. I felt so bad for the wife and kids that they had this loser addict of a husband/father. They were obviously embarrassed by his actions. This family was a prime example of how drinking can ruin lives and families.
I can't recall running into drunks since I've been home--but it might have happened.
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