A history of my seasonal eating habits

People are often intrigued when they learn that I only eat seasonal desserts and candies, and it leads them to ask a few questions.

One of them is "Why?" Well, it started out as a health thing, but today I view it as both a health thing and simply a fun thing. I like living my life this way.

Another question is "How long have you been doing this?" This question is harder to answer, because it has gone through changes throughout the years. This blog will attempt to show some of the ways this habit has evolved and note some key events. Through the years, it has gotten stricter, less complicated, and more enjoyable.

The idea started in 2003, when I read a Reader's Digest article that said that you shouldn't diet at Christmastime, because then you will think, "Oh, it's Christmas, so I can splurge," and it ends up backfiring. (You have to understand that I was always overweight and obese growing up, so this was something I needed to be concerned about.)

Well, somehow I morphed that into my first prototype. I could only eat one each of junk food in a day. So if I went to a party, I could have a donut and a cookie, but I couldn't have two cookies. I also included potato chips, and I think crackers, in this one-only rule. (I don't remember what I did about tortilla chips, because I seem to remember eating a lot of chips and salsa.) I think it also included fruit snacks, granola bars, and other packaged snacks.

However, if a junk-food item was seasonally appropriate (usually meaning it was holiday-themed), then I could eat as much of it as I wanted. So if you presented me with a bowl of generic M&Ms, I could only eat one. But if you presented me with a bowl of red, pink, and white M&Ms in early February, I could eat handfuls. (Defining "one" was sometimes a challenge. I don't want to bore you with all the specifics of that.)

Soon after I started this rule, we had visiting relatives, and my mom made a pan of brownies. Well, I ate my brownie quota for the day, and there was the full pan of brownies, tempting me. It was then that I came up with a system that for everything I ate beyond my allotted quota, I had to do ten situps. This was not something I could do all the time, just something I could do in certain situations. I mostly used it when eating treats was unavoidable, or when I was on vacation.

This dietary pattern continued until spring break 2006. We had gone to Moab, and after doing lots of hiking, I was sure that when I got on the scale when we got home, I would have lost weight. I was shocked and disappointed when I found out that instead I had gained weight. And I realized it was due to all the unhealthy things I had eaten on the trip--lots of granola bars, minty ice cream sandwiches, and other things. So as I stood on that scale, I realized that the one-a-day rule just wasn't cutting it. I would have to cut out junk food entirely--unless it was seasonal, in which case I could eat as much as I wanted.

Now, that vow was immediately tested as our home teacher brought over a non-Eastery chocolate pie that very day. I don't remember how I handled that--whether I did the situp punishment, or whether I postponed starting my new vow, or whether I stayed strong. This was just a few days before Easter, and this presented another challenge, because once Easter is over, there are no holidays for a while.

I think when I started the zero-tolerance policy, I might have removed fruit snacks and granola bars from the junk food category, but I can't remember when that started. I know that I didn't remove chips from the forbidden list. (Today, however, chips and other savory junk foods are not forbidden; only sweet things.)

In 2007, before my mission, I had amassed a large queue of situps, so I decided that I could eat whatever I wanted and add to that queue until I cleared the queue--at which point it would be a no-tolerance policy again.

Well, I took that queue with me on my mission. I finally cleared the queue on Thanksgiving Day 2008--the day before my year mark. At that point I recommitted myself to not eating bad things. However, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if someone plopped a dessert down in front of me (I would just add it to the queue), but if  they asked me if I wanted it, I would say no.

It was at the end of 2008 that I decided that during the New Year season--December 26 through January 1--I could eat whatever I want. We had a huge pile of goodies people had given us, and that was the only way I could get through it. I have maintained the "anything goes" attitude for New Year's ever since then, for multiple reasons.

In more recent years, I have gotten stricter. I have returned fruit snacks and most (not all) granola bars to the forbidden list, and I no longer justify eating treats to prevent them from being thrown away (most of the time).

In the summer of 2011, I experimented with eating ice cream during the summer months. (Only popsicles and similar things are otherwise acceptable during June, July, and August.) I enjoyed eating ice cream, but it just didn't feel summery, so I cannot eat ice cream during the summer. (It has been more than a decade since I have seen patriotic ice cream. Otherwise I eat pumpkin, egg nog, red velvet, and mint ice cream--but not during the summer.)

In 2012, I began to be more open about these habits. Previously, I had mostly told it to family members and roommates, but I now bear the distinction with pride. In summer of 2012, I wrote a blog about these rules. They have evolved a little since then, but it's pretty close to how I have it now.

Also in 2012, I discontinued the practice of evoking the situp or pushup rule for eating whatever I want on vacation. Summer vacation 2012, I ate lots of candy and then did pushups or situps when I got home, but by the time of my Death Valley field trip in November or my Christmas California trip that year, I was living the same rules on vacation as I was at home. (2012 was truly a seminal year for me.)

In 2013, I finally felt these efforts pay off. On Easter, I felt a little sick after eating lots of candy, and in September, after a long dearth of seasonal goodies, I literally could not finish a piece of pumpkin cake in one setting. Years of only eating seasonal things had lowered my tolerance for sugar. I still can eat a lot of sugar, but I can't do so infinitely (like I think I could at one point).

Today, I prefer unique flavors in seasonal items. I will still eat things that simply have a seasonal shape or color, but I prioritize those with unique flavors, and this has become increasingly easy and enjoyable. In the past few years especially, there's been an abundance of products with seasonal flavors throughout the year: Oreos, M&Ms, Pop-Tarts, Dairy Queen Blizzards, Pizza Pie Cafe dessert pizza of the month, various chocolates, even candy corn. It's a wonderful time to be me!

I didn't want to get into the little details here, so if you have any questions, just ask. :)

The Sunday after Thanksgiving

The Sunday after Thanksgiving is the first Sunday of the Christmas season. I'm going to remember what I can about the day.

2014. We were driving out of California, and my parents wanted me to turn on my Christmas playlist from my phone. We loaded up our car early in the morning while everyone was asleep. Throughout the day we munched on grapes, bagels with lunch meat, sugar cookie Pop-Tarts, chocolate candy cane granola bars, and candy cane Tootsie Pops. A lot of the music that played was remnants from my Halloween music (since it had recently been played on my phone), meaning it was Nightmare before Christmas. At one point Jan Terri's "Rock and Roll Santa" came on, but I was disappointed when it stopped streaming. My parents had had enough when Marilyn Manson's cover of "This Is Halloween" came on. Then they switched to a Beauty and the Beast tape. It was snowy as we were driving through Nevada, and I remembered that we had forgotten our Hotel Transylvania DVD and my pumpkin-shaped pie dish. After we got into Utah, they turned on FM 100.3. They played one Christmas song, noting that Christmas music wouldn't be in their Sunday lineup until the next week (even though they play Christmas music way early on weekdays). They played a song about moms praying for their missionary sons, and my mom related to it. We went home and unloaded some of the stuff from my car. Then my mom and I went to my grandparents' place, where my niece had been staying. My grandparents offered us leftover Thanksgiving dinner. My mom didn't eat much, but I had a couple of helpings. There were pieces of bone in the turkey. My grandma was telling my mom how a longtime family friend was in serious condition after a treadmill accident (and he did pass away from the injuries). When Allie came home, she had some of the sugar cookie Pop-Tarts and said, "These are good." I think she even took one into her room so she could have it the next morning. I wrote a blog.

2013. I don't really remember this day, but Facebook tells me I wrote on both of my blogs and was excited about Mideau's free download of "O Holy Night." I think I watched "The Nativity."

2012. The ward clerk, Michael Wyatt, had asked me to take his place at bishopric meeting that morning, so I did, wearing my polar bear tie. My roommate Scott later asked about my tie and said it was winter themed; I thought it was more Christmassy than wintery because of the North Pole. Again, I wrote on both blogs, and I think I watched "The Nativity."

2011. I gave a talk at my sacrament meeting, which you can read here. Paul Castleberry told me I gave an "epic talk."

2010. It was snowy, so I asked my dad to drive me up to my church (I think I had tithing settlement). He did, and then my family came to hear me talk. I had told Allie that she needed to be quiet at church, because my sacrament meeting was quieter than the family ward and she had a tendency to talk. Consequently she didn't want to go. Michelle Moosman talked to my parents after sacrament meeting, and my mom told her why Allie hadn't wanted to come, and Michelle said, "We do have a quiet sacrament meeting." I asked Peter Moosman to drive me home; he regretted having worn Toms on a snowy day. I told him he didn't need to drive down Raygene, because I could walk, but he did drive me. He was listening to the Nashville Tribute Band Joseph album, saying he didn't like country but loved that one. I told him I had bought it at an LDS bookstore in my mission boundaries, and he said that was lucky, because he didn't have one in Kentucky.

2009. I was very sad to leave my final area of Lewiston, Idaho. At church, Brother Robinson (I think?) presented me with some farewell goodies: Power Bars, because I had "the power," and a pomegranate for the seeds I planted, and a pear for the fruits of my labors. One of my converts, Katelyn Heath, told me she had been to the temple for baptisms the day before, and I was very happy for her. During sacrament meeting for the YSA branch, I leaned over to Elder Tamblyn and told him it was time for me to leave, so he came out in the foyer to wish me goodbye. Then I got in the car with the Robisons (not Robinsons), who were driving me up to Spokane. We had to stop in Pullman to pick up Elder Hansen, but he had his suitcase locked in their car, and his companion had gone across the state border to go to church in Moscow, so we had to wait for him to return. I think the Robisons gave us some food they had packed, and I also ate my goodies, including the pomegranate, which Elder Hansen called a "weird fruit." I made myself add to my pushup queue for eating Power Bars. Then the Robisons dropped us off at the mission home. I remember asking Elder Bewley about the Carter children I had taught in my first area, whom he had apparently baptized later. He said that Jonathan was twelve and got up in testimony meeting and gave a very dynamic testimony, almost comically so. I told the story of one time when we were trying to get them to guess "Holy Ghost," and they were guessing all sorts of random things ("Nephi!"), and when we told them the Holy Ghost, Alex (a girl) said, "I know a real haunted house!" President Palmer asked how old Alex had been. I went in for my interview with him, and he asked what my longterm plans were. He told me that dates didn't need to be big things; they could just be going for ice cream at the Wilkinson Center. President Palmer's son Geoffrey was telling us about the Star Trek movie. I noticed that President had a book on his shelf about Mormons and evolution, and I remembered I'd have to read it sometime (and hoped my evil companion Elder LaPratt would see it). I was very sad and cried when I went to bed. (I've moved on with my life now, but writing this does fill me with nostalgia and a little bit of sadness.)

2008. Lucrecia, an excommunicated member, came to church, and she wanted to meet with the branch president, because she was very desirous to be baptized. Since she was our only investigator, we waited to start our Sunday School class until she was there (the others were a single sister and our branch mission leader and his wife). She was very happy when she came in. She told us what the branch president had said she needed to do for baptism--no coffee, no cigarettes, no alcohol, and then she could talk to him again. Our lesson that day just happened to be chastity. It was very awkward. The lesson said, "Breaking the law of chastity can cause you to commit a greater sin, abortion," to which Lucrecia said, "I forgot to tell him about that. It wasn't my fault, the government made me do it." Sister Moffett kept pronouncing it "prah-creation." That night we visited the Johnsons, and Denise told us she wanted us to teach chastity to her daughter. I did write in my journal that night, but I think it would be inappropriate to put here.

2007. Family members were coming up for my farewell talk. Sarena was admiring our Little People nativity and Pilgrims, and I was surprised she hadn't heard of Fisher Price Little People before. A member of the stake presidency was presiding at our meeting, and he said he had been in our ward when I was a kid. One of my mission prep teachers was in the congregation, and so was Rachel Cope. During my talk, I explained that I had come to terms with going on my mission until I sprained my ankle and thought I would have to wait longer. I talked about Joseph Smith's Civil War prophecy, and I talked about some of my coworkers. I had a Muslim coworker who thought that another coworker was a Mormon, but I didn't think so--the Muslim said she could tell Mormons because they were very nice, and she turned out to be right about the other girl. I also talked about the coworker who had been on a mission but obviously wasn't active in the Church--"She had the same name as a villain in a Disney movie, and it fit her perfectly." I didn't know whether she was mean because she quit the Church or if she quit the Church because she was mean. After sacrament meeting, my bishop asked me into his office and gave me a Boy Scout coin to take with me. As I came out, Hillary Ulmer, Latecia Pope, and Rachel Cope (all of them married now) noted that I was indeed limping. They asked, "Was your coworker named Maleficent, Ursula, Cruella, or [someone else--maybe Yzma?]?" When I said Ursula, Rachel said it was no wonder she was mean, growing up with a name like that. My cousins tried to get me to go home, but I opted to stay at church. During Sunday School, the topic was being a "peculiar people," and someone cited my talk. After church, Austin Anderson asked me if my coworker's name was Cruella, and I told him Ursula.

2003. I wrote in my journal:
"I've been bad this weekend [devious face] I've had too much chocolate (hot chocolate and candy) and eggnog. I haven't written in my journal, and I didn't read much. Oh, well. This week I'm not going to watch T.V. period. As a seminary class we're going to sing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" for the school. I've been learning the tenor part. It's too high but only one note higher than the bass, and the bass goes too low. This week I have put up Christmas Decorations."

1999-1997. We might have been decorating our Christmas tree in 1997. I can remember one Sunday when my mom was late to sit with us at church (she might have been at choir practice), and she was disappointed that the opening hymn was an ordinary hymn: "I wanted to sing a Christmas song." I pointed out that the closing hymn was "The First Noel." 

The Saturday before Thanksgiving

I've now remembered the entire week of Thanksgiving, so now I creep earlier to the Saturday before.

2014. In the morning I went to an indexing breakfast at our bishopric second counselor's house. I was wearing my cat astronaut shirt under my orange hoodie. Madi Anderson saw part of the shirt and asked, "What is your shirt doing?" Some people from the other ward came because they had won the breakfast contest we had with them. Jeremy Gibbs was telling me he had to go to his work in Centerville, and Brady McArthur and others were talking about Taylor Swift's 1989 album. Later I went to the temple with my parents. It was very rainy when we got done, and then my parents went to Winegar's grocery store to buy groceries. I hated the white shirt I was wearing and didn't want to be seen in public wearing it. I sat in the car and played music and read the news on my phone. My mom had bought pumpkin ice cream. That night I made turkey and leaf sugar cookies, and I think I made orange frosting. I watched the "Turkey Day" episode of The Beverly Hillbillies, and I think I repeated what my roommate Scott had said this previous year: "Except for the terrible cigarette commercial, that was the best Thanksgiving show we watched." I wrote in my journal:
"Two years ago today was Thanksgiving!
"This morning I went to an indexing breakfast/party. I couldn't bear the thought of trying to decipher names on one of the batches. I went to the temple with Mom & Dad. It was rainy, and I didn't like my clothes, so I waited in the car while they went to Winegar's. Then I made sugar cookies tonight. It snowed but didn't last long.

2013. I know in the evening I watched the "Elly's First Date" episode of The Beverly Hillbillies.

2012. My ward in Provo had done a turkey bowl/chili contest. I didn't participate, but my former roommate Zach Zimmerman saw me and invited me to have some chili in his apartment. He had bought a lot of chili from Wendy's to take to the contest. That night I watched the "Thanksgiving Comes but Once a Year, Hopefully" episode of That Girl with my roommate Bryton. He liked the line "Technically, you and mom aren't blood relatives either." He asked if the show was like a commercial, since Ann was dressed very well and she said she used "room spray--hides cooking odors."

2011. In the morning I had to go to a work shift. As I was leaving work, the radio was playing Lady Gaga's "Telephone," which became stuck in my head the rest of the day. I think I went to Port of Subs but learned it was closed on Saturdays. That afternoon I wanted to go to World Market, so my parents drove us out there. A radio was playing "If I Die Young" outside the store. I got some turkey dishes and pumpkin bark; we admired the international nutcrackers, and we looked at various Christmas candies. Then we went to Chick-Fil-A for dinner, and they were all prepared for Christmas.

2010. It was a cloudy day as I drove up to the church where I parked to go running. As I got close to the twenty-minute mark, at which point I would turn around, it started snowing lightly. I found it kind of pleasant, and since it was almost time to turn around anyway, I just kept going until I really did need to turn around. Soon, however, it really started snowing/hailing hard, and I knew pretty soon it would be too slippery to run. Before I got to that point, however, an older guy and a younger girl stopped and offered me a ride. I said I needed a ride to the church; they said they would take me home, but I told them my car was there. I tried to pay it forward by offering a ride to a guy with a dog, but he declined. I really had to press firmly on the brakes near my house, and the antilock brakes came on. We had to call my sister to warn her it was really slick near our house, but I think she came later after the storm had calmed.

2009. I was on an exchange with Elder Critchfield in Clarkston, WA. The members he lived with were heading to Utah, so they agreed to take my bike and some other things with them. I rode my bike for the last time. Elder Critchfield saw some people on a porch, so he stopped to talk to them. A girl said she had been pregnant when she was thirteen--not because she was a promiscuous person but because she never had a birds-and-bees talk and was curious, an explanation I didn't entirely buy. We stopped to visit a family in a trailer. Later we stopped to get lunch from a food truck; in addition to my burger, I ordered spiced cider and was very disappointed it was the fake powdered stuff. When I expressed my disappointment, Elder Critchfield (who had kindly paid for my lunch) said he had noticed the powder in the window. We saw people putting up Christmas lights, and Elder Critchfield was talking on the phone while biking no-handed, which I couldn't do. We knocked doors, and one house set up a dinner appointment because they had Mormon relatives, and in fact they were going to a baptism that night. At another house, they were watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Then I think that night we stopped at a members' house, where they talked about Elder Rand, whom I had known from the beginning of my mission. I couldn't write in my journal because I packed my journal in the box of stuff I was sending home.

2008. I wrote in my journal:
"Today was quite a meh day. No one was home, like most Saturdays. It was cold in the evening, and all the weight and clothes were not comfortable. We saw the Stackhouses this evening, and we may be able to teach Destiny [whose father had previously objected]. We had to get food for dinner and breakfast from Family Foods. Our QGIs [quality gospel invitations] were not quality today, and neither is my coherency.
"One year ago today was Thanksgiving, and I immediately left the following week. I cannot believe my year mark is looming one day closer."
 
2004. I can remember a November Saturday, but I'm not sure whether it was the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I had to work on a group project for my French class, so I had my dad take me to my classmate Kenny's house. I thought I knew where it was, but I was way off, but we found it eventually. Kenny said he liked to watch the History Channel. His brother was taking Spanish, and Kenny said he was understood the word "blue" on a Spanish channel. Two girl classmates came over. Kenny turned on the new Shrek 2 soundtrack. When it was playing the Fairy Godmother's song, I was embarrassed for him and tried to speak loudly and consistently to draw attention away from the song. One girl said, "Girls are easy," and I pointed out the undesirable connotations of that choice of words. Then that afternoon I liked the autumnal atmosphere, so I put a chair underneath our crabapple tree to do homework outside. I liked the berry-like crabapples with the fall leaves.

2003. I wrote in my journal. This was a year when I was really excited for the Christmas season:
"I'm SO Glad it's the weekend. We only have school on Monday and Tuesday. Then it's Thanksgiving "RECess." I am glad. I need a break. And it starts the Christmas season [insert giddily happy face]

November 4

Time to remember what I can about November 4. Surprisingly, I don't remember the more recent years as well.

2014. It was Election Day, and I made a Facebook post about not voting: "The most responsible thing I could do would be to be a good citizen and know the issues and go vote. The second most responsible thing would be not to vote because I'm not informed. I chose the second most responsible thing." That's all I can remember right now.

2012. It was our last day in Death Valley for my geomorphology field trip. We packed up our tents, and I was shocked that one of my classmates changed his pants out in the open with girls standing ten feet away. We loaded up in the geology vans and drove out.

 We visited a place called Devil's Golf Course, where there were basalt rocks coated with salt. One of my classmates, Michael Arnold, said, "We're so mean to the devil." I licked some of the salt on the rocks, but they had a very rough texture.

 I was pleased to see a green rock on the ground, which I assumed to be the mineral olivine.

 Then we went to Badwater Basin, the lowest point in America. Lots of tourists had their pictures taken with a sign, which I found uninteresting. We went out on the salt flats after making a stop at the restrooms. I bent down to lick the ground. Our TA, Karl Arnold, picked up a piece of salt and began licking it like a lollipop.

 I asked one of my classmates to take a picture of me.

 Then we went to an abandoned mine and ate lunch. It was very hot. One of the TAs gave a devotional, saying that it was impractical to be fasting that day, but we should still remember it was fast Sunday, and maybe to listen to something a little less raucous. The restroom there was closed.

 We found a bug on the antenna.

Our professor went off somewhere to use the "restroom," and we had to tell one of our classmates not to go there, since he didn't know that's where she'd gone, or else he'd "see something [he'd] never forget." Another classmate told how he had been on a train and had the door opened on him when he was in the bathroom. We headed out of Death Valley, and our professor was playing churchy songs from her iPod (like EFY and MoTab). I offered my Lower Lights CD (yes, CD) to listen to. Dr. Radebaugh looked at the notes and said, "There's like fifty people in this band." At the second song ("I Saw the Light"), she said, "I listen to bluegrass on Sundays!" She skipped the song "Where the Soul of Man Never Dies," but at the end of the album she said she'd have to look them up. We passed some people looking at a layer of black rock next to the road; I thought it was an igneous sill, but I later learned it was a coal seam. (Now I know that igneous sills and coal seams look pretty different.) In Vegas, we stopped at In-N-Out. We could either eat there or eat leftover food on the truck. I ate at In-N-Out because I needed to use the restroom but felt bad doing so not as a paying customer. I did find it strange that the one time we went out on this BYU field trip was on Sunday. Someone jokingly said that we might as well be drinking coffee, since we were already breaking a commandment. We were all very ready for a bathroom break in Beaver, so we stopped at the gas station. I saw some orange Hostess Sno-Balls and debated buying them but decided not to since it was Sunday. Dr. Radebaugh bought some crackers. On our way home, I was texting my roommates to see if they could help me carry my stuff home from campus. My roommate Scott agreed to. I also got a text from our ward clerk, Michael Wyatt, and he was wondering how I was because I hadn't been at church that day. When we got back to campus, they were giving out food. I took a loaf of white bread, and maybe some skim milk, I don't remember. Soon Scott and lots of people from the ward showed up; he had invited them to come help me at ward prayer. There was plenty for everyone to carry something. At the end there was only my pillow and my bread. I let a girl carry my pillow, but maybe that was creepy. I was sandy and grimy. I wrote a short blog post.

2011. There was a lunch at my job at the Distribution Center; I think it was tacos or burritos, because I had brought tortillas. They asked me to say the blessing on the food; as I was praying, I heard Kelly Clarkson's "Mr. Know It All" playing on one of the radios in the work area. Some people had brought bags of candy. Some of my coworkers knew about my eating habits, and they asked if I could eat that Halloween candy. I said I couldn't, because Halloween was over, and it wasn't Halloween themed anyway. I explained that I could have candy corn things, because when I was in elementary school I read a Thanksgiving book called The Candy Corn Contest. I said I couldn't have plain candy because it was available year round. They said, "But candy corn is too." I said it was more common in the fall; they said, "Candy is too." They said my eating system had problems, and I acknowledged that it wasn't perfect. The previous night I had bought a bag of bulk candy corn taffy on clearance, and then I noticed that there was a produce sticker on the bag that said "5 A Day for Better Health," and I put that on Facebook.

2009. We tracted into a man whom I had met several months earlier when we attended a Bible study at another church. He was friendly and asked us why the Book of Mormon uses language from the Bible, as he heard. I explained my theory that it was to aid in the translation process, but I made it clear it was only my theory. He told us that his neighbors belonged to the Community of Christ, formerly RLDS Church. That night we visited Dianne Scott. Technically we shouldn't have been there, since there was no man present, but sometimes circumstances made it so we did that. (That rule was made for people who shouldn't be on missions anyway. But don't think I'm trying to discredit mission rules, because you should obey them.) She told us her conversion and things. I was a little surprised with how friendly she was, since most less-active members weren't so nice. Then we went and saw our Bishop, who lived on the same street. He offered us leftover pizza, and there was a conversation about how we sometimes perceive people as believing differently than they actually do. He brought up faith and works, saying he knew his Baptist preacher neighbor believed in living good lives. I said I felt the same way about the notion of the trinity. Sister Palmer told us we were welcome to come on Thanksgiving and asked what we wanted. I said pecan pie, and she said that Bishop was going to make that anyway. That night I wrote in my journal.
"This morning we did service helping Brother Ruddell and then Sister Carter. Later we tracted some and met a guy named Jack Azbill whom I met at the Tammany View Baptist Church. Then we saw Sister Gibbins, who was out in her yard.
"We had a good lesson with Mallary, then Elijah wasn't around. We had a long visit with Dianne Scott, a less-active I'd never met before. Then we stopped at Bishop's house, and talked and ate cold pizza."

2008. We spent half of our weeks at the home of a senior couple in one of our branches, and we helped them tile their entryway and fireplace. Actually Elder Love did most of it, since he was a handyman. We spent most of this day doing that, although a couple of times we changed into our proselyting clothes and went to our branch building to meet an investigator there. She never showed up. At one point I picked up a book of Edgar Allan Poe and read "The Raven" out loud. I felt bad that we spent all day doing the tile, but in retrospect I think it was a very good thing to do. I just wish I had been more helpful. We had dinner with the Christensen family at the Mexican restaurant in town. They commented on my very short hair, since Elder Love had shaved it the previous day without a comb on the clippers (or maybe the wrong size). When I told them what happened, their adopted five-year-old granddaughter Bailey jokingly scolded Elder Love. Bailey asked what we had been for Halloween. Elder Love said, "A missionary," and then he remembered, "I was Elder Melville!" Bailey didn't understand, so Sister Christensen said, "Elder Love wears one kind of tie, and Elder Melville wears a different kind." Elder Love said we wore the same tie (we just happened to have identical ties). Then Brother Christensen came with us to help the Stackhouse family with moving things from one house to another. (He was later annoyed that able-bodied kids weren't helping us.) I wrote in my journal:
"We helped with the Herrons' tile for most of the day. Not having much experience and fearing messing it up (since I never do anything right), I didn't feel like I was doing much. The times we weren't tiling we were waiting at the church to meet with Wanda but she didn't come. We also had dinner at a Mexican restaurant with the Christensens, and then helped the Stackhouses with a little moving. It was rainy and very cold today. I like my new sweater.

2006. It was my Grandma Judy's funeral, but I don't remember as much of it as I should. At the viewing in the morning, they offered everyone one last look before they locked the casket. I didn't feel a need to get up and look, because I had already paid my respects. Uncle Mike read out loud her obituary. It said she sang with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. My mom later said that she heard someone say "Huh?" when that was read, and she thought she had simply sung in a choir that was in a concert with the MoTab. The obituary was meant to sound pretentious. My grandma was not a member of the MoTab. They had all of us grandkids get up to sing a primary song during the service. Meanwhile, my cousin Peter (from the other side of the family) was upstairs in a nursery with my nephew Preston, who was eleven days shy of two years old. I felt a little bad that he was playing with my nephew instead of me--but it was my grandma's funeral. Then we went to my grandparents' house, and I helped carry things out. I think I carried some autumnal funeral wreaths. Allie and Preston were playing in the red Jeep in the yard.

I had a few "phases" at this time. One was that when I was in church clothes, I would gradually change out of them. Different occurrences would cause me to do one step towards changing. One of these steps was going outside, and since I was going outside a lot, I had a lot of times to gradually change. That's why I'm wearing a tie in the top picture, but my shirt is untucked without a tie and I have plain shoes on in the bottom. We went home that night, and while I was putting up my Thanksgiving maize lights on our fireplace, I acted on my other "phase": There was a full moon, so I pretended that I couldn't stay too long in the moonlight from the window, or else I would turn into a wolf. My mom was on the phone, and I think she was annoyed with my growling and hunching over.

2003. I don't specifically remember the day, nor the dress rehearsal for Evil Doings at Queen Toots' Tomb, but I wrote in my journal:
"Oi! It's only November 4, and already the Reeds have their Christmas tree up. I still need to take down Halloween and put up Thanksgiving decorations. [I stylized the word "Thanksgiving" with steaming corn cobs for the i's and a turkey beak for the v.] We had a rehearsal today. Our only dress rehearsal without an audience. It wasn't very good. We have microphones and whenever we walk by a speaker if the mikes are on, it makes a big, deafening noise. They echo, too. I didn't have much homework tonight, either, which is good, because I didn't get home until shortly before eight. There was pizza after practice."

2002. We were in Taiwan. I might have recorded the day in a journal somewhere, but I don't know where it is.

1996. Again, I don't remember this, but I found a second-grade journal, wherein the entry is fairly similar to 2003, even though I was seven years younger:
"This month is November. [This time the N was a turkey beak, and the v was an upside down tepee.] we don't have all of our Thanksgiving [again with the upside down tepee] decorations up, and we don't have all all [sic] of our Halloween decorations down. We'll work on it."

October 24

Now it's time to remember what happened on October 24.

2014. My family was having a movie night at my sister's house, so we went to Little Caesar's and got pizza. We also went to Rite-Aid to get candy. I wanted to get orange Kit-Kats because I could have them, and my dad got candy to give to trick-or-treaters, but it didn't make it to Halloween. We watched Munster, Go Home!, and at the end, Susanne remarked about the snow accumulating rapidly in the movie. Then we went upstairs because she had to practice nursing on me and record it for a class. She started out, "Hi, I'm Susanne," and had to ask me questions as if I were a patient. She asked if my native language was English and I said "Sí." There wasn't enough memory on the phone that was used at first, so we had to start over again. During the second take, Buddy the dog got on top of me while I was lying on the couch, and she remarked about the puppy. She looked at my belly and said "I'll keep you modest." When we got done, we went home, and I watched Garfield's Halloween Adventure by myself. Then I wrote in my journal:
"After work, we went to Nan's house, where we ate pizza and watched Munster, Go Home! Then Nan had to do a physical assessment, which took a while.

2013. I commented on my roommate Jordan's Facebook post, telling him that grape jelly is bland, that he should use raspberry or blackberry instead. That night I watched the Garfield special; Jordan kept laughing at the song that kept saying "The one thing he's not is a scaredy cat!" When the ghost pirate ship showed up, Scott said, "Oh, this is a scary one. Everything we've watched so far have been comedies." I don't know for sure, but it's possible this was the night when I was waiting for Scott to quit watching the World Series before I watched my show, and a commercial was playing Lady Gaga's newly released "Do What U Want," and I said that it seemed like she was going downhill, which made Scott laugh.

2012. I was watching the "Safe and Sane Halloween" episode of Bewitched with my roommate Bryton. He remarked how cute Tabatha was, and he was laughing at all the things I found unfunny (such as characters getting confused for seeing strange things).

2010. I don't remember the day, but I did write in my journal, which I didn't do often at that time.
"Tomorrow I start my first day of real work, not counting Friday's orientation meeting. I still need to hear back from the post office. Part of me hopes I don't get that one because the schedule would be unpleasant, but it would make quitting the Church job more legit. I'm mainly excited to get a more impressive resume.  

2009. We finally got in with some people we had been trying to see for months. They were very friendly (and the wife was talking about Rocky Mountain oysters), but they definitely weren't receptive to our message, as they were strong Christians. They said no one could see God, since even Moses had to cover his face when he came down from the mountain. They asked almost condescendingly about baptisms for the dead. I tried to defend modern-day prophets, and the husband said he could believe in modern-day prophets, but he didn't think Joseph Smith was one. Then we went to Lapwai, the reservation outside of Lewiston. I drove up highway 95 to try to find a trailer park where a less-active member lived; I got a little lost on the way. I don't think we found who we were looking for, but other people confirmed they lived there. Then we went back to Lapwai proper and parked in the grocery store parking lot, and a man came up and talked to us. It was pretty obvious he was drunk; he kept telling Elder Tamblyn he shouldn't have "black eyes" (sunglasses) as a "Christian man." We wanted to get away but it was a little difficult. I told the man we would talk to him when he was sober, but he kept insisting that he wasn't drunk.
"Elder Tamblyn woke up again not feeling well. Then while he had personal study I slept because I didn't sleep the best last night. We visited a PI who were anti but nice. They claimed that no one can see God and thus Joseph Smith is not a prophet.
"We had lunch with the Bickerdykes, and then we went to Lapwai. We tried to see a LA and I got us going toward Orofino. When we were where we were meant to be, we tracted and dogs followed us completely around.
"Before leaving Lapwai a drunk Indian came up to us and told us he put his son before God so God took him away, so now he can't love anyone, and told Elder Tamblyn it wasn't good to have 'black eyes' (sunglasses).
"We had dinner with the Andersons and came home since Elder Tamblyn didn't feel well." 

2008. We visited our "eternal investigator" Christol (yes, that was how her name was spelled), who had a three-year-old, Edward, who was out of control. We were sitting on a bed in the living room, and Edward was attacking a little puppy, so I was trying to protect the dog. Suddenly there was a yellow liquid on the bed and Elder Love got up fast. He didn't know what to do, since Ritzville didn't have a dry cleaner. We went to our apartment and a Jon McPherson came over, since he was coming with us to a lesson. Elder Love changed his pants, and I told Jon why. Jon was a convert and just returned from his mission. We told him we had met some Catholic people who knew him and spoke disparagingly of our religion. He said they were very disappointed when he was baptized because they wanted him for their daughter. We visited our investigator Adriana, and a girl from the branch who was her daughter's friend was there too. I thought the member was the investigator's daughter. It was an awkward situation. We visited a less-active but very friendly part-member family, the Hunts, and I told them I had been in his parents' ward but never met them, and then they offered us Peanuts Halloween fruit snacks. That night we visited the recent converts the Johnsons. We told them about the dog incident earlier in the day, and Elder Love said, "I was p--I was mad," and Jason Johnson said, "You were going to say you were peeved."
"This morning we did our planning session. Then we had a lesson with Crystal. Their little puppy was behind Elder Love, while Edward was hitting it, and it peed and got Elder Love's suit.
"Then we met with Adriana. Briana, Maira's friend, was there, and for the longest time I thought she was Maira. I was embarrassed, because I kept asking her questions.
"Later we met the Hunts, a very friendly PMF. His parents were in the Greenbluff ward, but I don't remember them. Then we had a spontaneous lesson with the Johnsons. Denise wasn't too happy.
"We made a McDonald's run, and came back. For once we had no zeros in our daily actuals." 

2006. I was really excited to go to Shopko with my family and buy two newly released TV show DVD sets, the fourth season of Bewitched and the first volume of The Addams Family. Both of these had Halloween episodes, so I watched them when I went home. I told my dad I had bought an Addams Family DVD, but he was disappointed when he learned it wasn't the movies. 

October 25

As I continue to remember days surrounding Halloween, I get further and further from the day itself. This time I'm remembering what I can about October 25.

2014. In the evening I went to stake conference at our stake center; my friend Emily texted me and asked me if I could save her a seat for her because she was running late. One of the stake presidency made some comment about being old (I don't remember what it was), and then another of the presidency later made allusion to the comment, so I had to explain to Emily what was going on because she had missed that part. After the meeting I went to the overflow to help put up chairs; I saw Crystal and David Hawks talking to each other. I had never met David, so I introduced myself and told him we were home teaching companions. This might have been the night when I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown at home and Allie said, "It's trick or treat, not tricks and treats." I journalized as follows:
"This morning I went running. It seemed unusually hard. This afternoon, I picked an apple from our own tree and threw another dead rat away. Then we went to Winegar's, and I made dinner. I went to stake conference, and Emily sat by me. Then I got gas and washed my windows, and then we watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown."

2013. Hmm...I think that Friday night I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, and my roommate Scott came in toward the end, and I think he was mildly disappointed he had missed it.

2012. I looked at my class notes, so this might have been the time our geomorphology professor, Jani Radebaugh, told us about climbing a mountain in Africa to see a lava lake. She said that most lava lakes were hard to access; this one was hard and it was one of the more accessible ones. She showed us the fascinating footage she took and said they could feel the heat every time the lava churned. That night I was watching the sixth-season Halloween episode of Bewitched, and my roommates Bryton and Cameron joined me. Cameron and I sat on the couch facing the TV, while Bryton reclined on the love seat that was sideways. He said, "I'm sorry I'm taking up the whole couch," and Cameron said, "It's OK--fatty." We laughed, and Cameron said, "Sorry, I grew up with brothers," and Bryton said he only grew up with sisters. After the show, Bryton said he liked that episode less than some of the others we had watched, because it seemed like a UNICEF commercial, and Cameron agreed. Cameron said, "Wasn't her husband in the military?" I said no; then I realized he was thinking of I Dream of Jeannie, where Tony was an astronaut. Bryton said Bewitched was a better premise than Jeannie because they were married, rather than her being a "wench" in the house.

2010. I went to my first working day at my new job at the Distribution Center. We all sat at the tables that were in the break area just off of the work area. Most of the other workers had gone home, so they put us to work filling garment orders on station 6. Maybe it was station 5, I can't remember.

2009. After Sunday School, a less-active member we were teaching told us that he wasn't married to his girlfriend. They had a three-year-old kid together, so I assumed they were, as they were a very close family. That night, we went to our bishop's house because we wanted to tell him, but he told us--the man had told him as well. I think we had a discussion about beliefs sometimes getting misconstrued. For example, he had a Protestant preacher who lived next door, and he was sure that he believed in doing good things and living good lives, but the "faith vs. works" things sometimes got in the way. I said sometimes the same thing happened with the view of the Trinity. This is my journal entry: "Today was a fairly routine Sunday. Shaun texted us to tell us he couldn't make it, but Michael and Nash and Barbie came. We had to teach Gospel Essentials, and we learned that [name] and [name] are not married.
"Elder Tamblyn did a good job speaking in the branch. Then we had dinner with the Dukes, and visited the Palmers. Elder Tamblyn wasn't feeling well again so we came home."

2008. We tracted a little street in Ritzville and a lady had her door open. She invited us in and talked to us forever; I think we finally left without discussing anything with her because she talked the whole time. I think we borrowed some members' bike pumps to fill up the tires for our investigator's kids. We left Ritzville and went to Davenport, where we tracted again. An elderly couple let us talk to them, and they were folding their white laundry (including whity-tighties) in the living room. They invited us back. Then we went to the Mondovi grange, which was a ways out. They had hay bales and other fall decorations, and they had paper on the tables with crayons on them, so we could draw on the tablecloth. We sat with some members, and we were supposed to draw something on the tables about something from our past or childhood. The member drew some incident about a bear when she was a baby. I wanted to draw my broken bones, so the only thing I could think to do was to draw my skeleton with broken bones. The member guessed, "You're a skeleton? Or you were a skeleton." They had a talent show. The first part was playing "The Monster Mash" and having the branch president's son walk around in a costume; the member we were sitting with "sang" along with the spoken lyric "Boris sent you." They had the bishopric doing some poem or song from Hee-Haw while their wives were dressed up in costumes. One of the lyrics was "the way she's built" and Sister Kieffer was stuffed with padding in her overalls. Elder Love was laughing his head off. We took pictures with a pitchfork and the hay bales. Then we drove out into the countryside, down a little ravine where there was an unexpected neighborhood. We were looking for a potential investigator we found in our area book, but it was dark and we were too nervous in the dark to knock on these rural doors. Then we went back to our "residence" with the Herron couple. I wrote a long journal entry detailing the weird dream I had had:
"Last night I left my glasses on, planning to get up again, but I unexpectedly fell asleep with them on. At 3:00 I woke up hot, with my glasses on, loud trains going, and somewhat confused.
"Then I had a very interesting, detailed dreams with a bunch of storylines. We were looking for a package Dad supposedly sent Mom--I don't know why he wouldn't have given it to her. We traipsed around Ritzville to find it, but Dad later said he hadn't sent it. I couldn't believe he went along looking for it, knowing he hadn't sent it.
"With Elder Love we were listening to my Hymns, and one had an electric guitar. It seemed a little edgy for church music, and sounded like a country or rock song.
"I had a spider made of a pom-pom and pipe cleaners and paper eyes that scared Allie. So I took it and gave it wiggle eyes and a paper smile and planned to increase the amount of legs from six to eight. But then I found I had more than eight legs, and soon I was making an old brown fridge into a spider. I put the head on the top and was gluing the legs on the side. There was a magnet for a bank, and a representative from the bank decided to capitalize on the spider. She was talking about members, as in members of the bank (not of the the church, as I was thinking), and talking about how they knew their members. To illustrate, she said the spider's legs were members of its body, and she could tell stories of each leg. I found that many of the legs had faces, but I just accepted it and went on. I had to object when she said two legs were husband and wife when I knew them to be brother and sister.
"Then I found a Christmas ornament that was a green ice skating mouse, as well as a little candy cane mouse. Then I was pulling garlands and things out of a bin while the TV played Christmas episodes.
"And we went to see some members who had a cement room with a blue wooden stand thing. When we saw them they had a crazy white animal jumping all around the room, but the room was actually meant for displaying polar bears in the clothes the members made for them.
"But in the much more important real life, we tried to see some people. One lady let us in and just chatted while she made potato salad. Funny how some people can do that. We filled up the tires on Michelle Jensen's kids' bike. Then we left Ritzville.
"Driving through Harrington I suggested seeing Michael Heit, a less-active building a plane in his garage. He also has his own radio station--100.5, I believe.
"We got to Ritzville [I meant Davenport] and tracted into people that I think will be a bash session concerning the deity of Christ. He said he will have someone over with him.
"Then we went to the branch harvest festival, out in Mondovi, a small place. It was at a grange hall. They had dinner and a few silly activities. We got to see the stars in their brilliance before we came home and made calls."
Man, that was my favorite area. I miss it.

2006. I believe this was the day Woods Cross had the trunk or treat. On my way home from school, I stopped at Kmart to buy some candy to take; I found some chocolates that had M&Ms embedded in them. I went home, listening to the Corpse Bride soundtrack, to change into my vampire costume. Then I went back to the school and met up with the other Spanish Club people in the lunchroom; they had a bowl for the candy. Then we went out to the front parking lot for the trunk or treat. I talked a lot with Mrs. Jamison, who had been my French teacher. Many people admired my costume; someone said I couldn't be wearing the pendant I was wearing, since it was an X. A girl--Analia?--was saying how cold it was, and I was thinking it wasn't that cold, but then I remembered I was in a suit. There were some of the less virtuous girls wearing scanty costumes; an overweight one was wearing a short-skirted nurse costume, and we were sure they were cold.

October conference 2012-2014

Three years ago, I made a post about the October general conference weekends. Now I'm going to blog about those that have occurred since then.

2014. After the Saturday morning session, I took some glass cleaner and wiped off my headlights and washed the inside of my car windows, all done while listening to my Halloween music on my phone. I also picked an apple off of our own apple tree--the first edible fruit I'd seen on that tree in my entire life. My mom and niece had gone to a birthday party for my cousin's kid. That night I texted a friend named Emily, and she invited me to go to conference with her because she had an extra ticket. The next morning, I went to her apartment complex, after some confusion. I knocked on her door and told her I liked her cats; she said they were her roommates' cats and she didn't care too much for them. We got in her car, and her CD player was playing Cherie Call. I told her how much I loved Cherie Call, that I had all of her albums, and that I had seen her many times. She was a little jealous. I told her how to get to the conference center and told her she needed to slow down at the curve on Beck Street; she said, "You could drive this with your eyes closed!" We walked over from a parking lot downtown, and a street preacher was telling us we believed Christ and Satan were brothers. Emily told me it was sad (that he was telling us what we believe and being so anti). We tried to figure out where to go, and Emily remarked about the "dirty" spots on the Conference Center granite; I explained to her what they were. We got in our seats, and a girl name Ruth whom I knew from Provo was a few rows ahead of me. She looked back and said hi; there had been a problem with an old tithing donation I had discovered as ward clerk, so I asked her about it. During a talk, they showed a picture of President Hinckley, and I told Emily that he was being photobombed by Brigham Young. I think I changed out of my suit once I got home into an orange shirt. My mom had made pancakes with pumpkin spice chips (like chocolate chips) in them, and I ate one and got some grease on my shorts. That afternoon I purchased a cheesy album of hymns from Your LDS Music Store because it had three Thanksgiving hymns and several other hymns that I didn't already have. I also updated my Thanksgiving playlist in Google Play, using my new hymns. Grandma and Grandpa came over and showed us pictures of their recent New York trip on our big TV; my mom got on Google Maps and explored Street View of her grandma's old neighborhood. I blogged. That night I wrote in my journal:
"This morning I went with Emily Edwards to conference. She likes Cherie Call and has a bright green car. There were protesters--one saying we think Christ and Satan are brothers, one saying 'Homo Churches Are Devilish.' [I remember that that was on a sign, and they had someone in a devil costume.]
"Tonight, Grandma and Grandpa came over, and we looked at pictures of New York. Then I blogged."

2013. I remember watching the priesthood session at home for the first time with my dad. My mom was making the dessert Fat Man's Misery the next day, so we went to buy ingredients. We went to Winegar's, and since it was the end of the week when I could eat anything, I wanted an Almond Joy at the checkout, and Allie got a Kit-Kat. She was very anxious to get a hold of it after we purchased it; my mom said something to that effect, and she said, "I just don't want it to melt." Both the cashier and my mom told her it was more likely to melt in her hand than in the bag. We went to Target because we couldn't find pumpkin ice cream for the dessert, and I went in by myself. I can't remember whether that was before or after Walmart, and where I ended up getting the ice cream. We went to Walmart, and on the way there we were discussing the Mamas and the Papas. A car was driving recklessly in the parking lot, apparently not caring about pedestrians, so impulsively I said, "I hope they crash and die!" and my mom reproved me. Allie was talking about coming home and eating something. My mom said she should just drink a lot of water and not eat so much because she might end up like her grandmother; I chimed in, "Or Mama Cass." During the Sunday morning session Allie was trying to help my mom crush Oreos for the dessert crust; I asked her if she had washed her hands, and my mom made her do so.

2012. I was by myself for a lot of Saturday conference. In the afternoon, my roommate Scott came home from having run the St. George Marathon. I told him about the mission age change. He asked where I was watching the priesthood session; I told him I planned to walk to the Marriott Center. He asked if I could drive instead, since he had just run a marathon, so I did. I was wearing my jack-o-lantern tie. I don't recall anything. The next day (Sunday) I wrote in my journal:
"I had weird dreams this morning that made me cut it close to getting up on time for conference. I ate grapes and Dots [they were Bat Dots, which were black and flavored like blood orange, but they don't make them anymore] during both sessions. Scott and Mary were around for most of the second session, which was kind of awkward. Then I wrote one blog post, made dinner, and then did another blog post. Back to the grind tomorrow."

September 16

I'm going to remember what I can about September 16. September 16 is Mexican Independence Day, but that's not important to me.

2014. In the morning, I made this Facebook status: "Don't you hate it when you sleep late because you were dreaming about a talking sinkhole?" During my lunch break I went over to Kneaders for lunch, my first time going to the one at City Creek. I was looking at the desserts, trying to decide what seasonal one I wanted to try. I'd never had a Kneaders sugar cookie, so I got one. They had leaves and acorns; I think I got a leaf because it was bigger. It was way too sweet and it wasn't the greatest cookie. I went to institute that night and they had donuts with fall sprinkles, so I could eat them. I was talking with Jackie Gubler, and she told me she had been on a diet from desserts. I told her that my way of limiting them was to only eat seasonal desserts, so I could eat the donuts they had that night. I think I took some home, and a girl in charge of institute began closing a box of cake donuts to take away, even though she had just told us to take as much as we wanted. I journalized as follows:
"Today I walked over to Kneaders for lunch and got a sickeningly sweet sugar cookie. I had a rough time focusing today. Tonight I went to institute, where there were donuts with fall sprinkles."

2013. I went to Kneaders in Provo, the second time I had ever been to Kneaders. I remember loving the Mideau CD I had in my car. I looked at all the pumpkin desserts they had and settled on an expensive, but massive, piece of pumpkin chocolate chip cake. I was a little annoyed with how expensive the meal was. As I was eating my dinner, the workers were talking about 5ks, including the underwear run in Salt Lake, saying a lot of guys probably went to see girls there. Some other customers came in, and I think they asked for the same cake I had; as they left and saw my cake, one of them sad to me, "That's the best cake!" I awkwardly responded something like "I'm excited to try it." After I finished my meal, I began eating the cake, which had cream cheese frosting. It was delicious (and I hate that word), and I was excited to eat the whole piece. However, after I got halfway through it, it became sickening. I think I didn't finish the last third of it and took it in my car, just keeping it on the paper plate. I drove back to my apartment and put it in the fridge. Then I went up to campus to finish working on a Mono Lake water budget project for my groundwater class. It was a harrowing experience, staying up late to finish a huge assignment. My motivation for finishing (besides the due date the next day) was that when I went home I could finish my cake. I might have ordered Jan Terri's latest album, No Rules, since it came out on September 17, but maybe I waited until the next day.

2012. At some point in the day, I bought the BYU Singers' version of "Awake, Ye Saints of God, Awake" to add to my hymns playlist. I went to my home ward, and after church, my mom said to me, in a little bit of an annoyed tone, "Did you hear my news?" She had just been called as primary president. I told her that I thought she was going to tell me she was pregnant; she said she would shoot herself if that were the case. I drove back to Provo, admiring the red mountains on the way back. My roommate Bryton asked me to help with his home teaching. We visited Hannah Russell, and they talked about the crazy BYU-Utah football game from the day before. I think she was talking about her views on science not conflicting with religion. Bryton said he would want to see us engage in a deep conversation because we both were very intelligent; we talked a little bit about global warming but generally agreed on the issue. After we were done, I began putting up Halloween decorations in my apartment, and my friend Carissa came over to visit. I had cut out orange and black drippy letters from construction paper to spell out "Get Down Goblin," so that I could incorporate the framed Jan Terri picture in the decorations. Carissa suggested putting the pumpkin/ghost lights outside of our door. She also found a weird knife thing in our "drawer of requirement" and tied a string to it and hung it on the front door. I wasn't too fond of the idea. (And then someone ended up stealing the tool.) I also shared my candy corn Oreos with her, my roommate Scott, and his girlfriend Mary. I wrote a blog post, and I journalized as follows:
"Today was the primary program, and after church, Mom got called to be the primary president. I drank grape juice and tonight I came back to Provo. The mountains are beautifully covered with red trees.
"I went home teaching with Bryton to see Cassie Fox and Hannah Russell. Then Carissa came over while I was decorating for Halloween. Then I wrote a blog post."

2011. I was at work at the Distribution Center, and in the morning some of my coworkers and I were called up to the leads' office because they had donuts for us for working late earlier that week. I think my coworker Michelle knew that I hadn't previously been eating desserts, so she was surprised to see me eating one. I explained that I could have it because of the fall sprinkles. (That might have been the first time I explained it to her, but maybe she had known about it before.) Later that day, a group of us were working together on a special product, and there were leftover donuts; Michelle told the others not to have the ones with sprinkles because they were the only ones I could have. At some point, one coworker quoted the following: "If I don't do it, then nobody else will, and he'll never exist." I was pleasantly surprised that someone else knew that quote from the relatively obscure It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown; I said, "I know what that's from," and another coworker said he didn't know what it was from. Then I drove home; I think it was a rainy fall-like day, and I think I was listening to the Corpse Bride soundtrack.

2009. I was on an exchange with Elder Masten, and we went around seeing a bunch of potential investigators. He was annoyed that we weren't teaching anyone. We stopped in the church to use the restroom, and he tried to scare me when I came out. We were walking on Grelle Avenue when I told him that earlier someone had driven down the road and thrown an apple at us; he said he would have thrown a rock at them. We also talked about people we both knew from East Wenatchee, since I had served there before he had. I wrote this in my journal:
"I wasn't too fond of my day with Elder Masten. The day itself wasn't the greatest, but it was worse with Elder Masten having a somewhat negative and judgmental attitude. It wasn't too bad, though. We just saw a bunch of random PIs."

2008. I think the man we talked to lived on Fancher Heights in East Wenatchee, and his sister was in another room laughing at the things we were saying. Elder Duncan sometimes had a chip on his shoulder, so he got in defense mode, which aggravated the man. I think the Timothy Tucker we met gave us cherries, either on that occasion or another one, because he worked for one of the local agricultural companies. I journalized as follows:
"Today almost everyone was nice to us. We ended up talking to this guy who had questions but he didn't seem too receptive or sincere, and he got mad when Elder Duncan was being defensive. We met Timothy Tucker, an inactive friendly person."

2000. I don't really know, but it's possible this was the day my brother went through the temple prior to his mission. I was putting up plastic ghosts with newspapers in them while my cousins were at our house. We went to Ho Ho Gourmet for dinner, and one waitress kept refilling our water glasses, even if we had only taken a sip or two from them.

July 23

I'm going to remember what I can about the day before Pioneer Day. However, since I haven't really considered Pioneer Day as a full holiday, that will make it a little hard.

2014. My brother took my nephews swimming, but Nathaniel didn't want to go, so my mom took him with her as she went other places. She ended up going to Susanne's house to watch Bountiful's parade. After a full day of working at home, I announced to my family that I was going to go watch the parade, so they decided to come too, and David drove and I had to tell him which street to turn on. We were able to park in front of Nan's driveway. Then we met them on her neighbors' lawn; the boys were told they couldn't have the neighbors' food. At one point I went into Susanne's house to get popsicles. We watched the procession; some high school bands got to dress coolly, but some had to wear their hot outfits. The boys were eager to get the free parade handouts; my mom remarked that they hadn't been taught manners not to get in other people's way. After the parade, we went to a firework shack near Dick's Market, where my brother picked out a lot of fireworks to set off. We got some tanks and some ground blooms. We lit off the fireworks at Susanne's house; David almost got burned from waiting too long to throw the "flowers." When we left, Ya-ping wanted Nathaniel to ride in my mom's car, since his carseat should have already been in it, but in fact my mom had not used his carseat. On the way home, we asked him about his imaginary families and houses. I said, "Do you have any dogs?" "We do have dogs!" "Do you have any cats?" "We do have cats!"--a cat named Bottom. My mom beat me to the next question: "Do you have any birds?" "We do have birds!" This is my journal for the day:
"After work today, we went to Bountiful's parade with the boys. They don't understand how to watch out for other people. Then we did fireworks with them. Qi-en really is the cutest."

2012. My ward's FHE was in the Regency Apartment lounge, where we watched 17 Miracles. I sat on a loveseat, and later my future roommate Scott, whom I was afraid of, came and sat right between me and the other person. (Later our friend Carissa told me she found that hilarious.) When Levi Savage was publicly rebuked for not having faith, Scott said, "I couldn't do that." In the scene where the kid eats the buffalo chip, Michelle Sutterfield said "Sick!" and then when he was being threatened by wolves, she said, "Is that the same kid who was eating that thing?" I believe that this was the same night that our "horse" friends Kristen, Hanna, Carissa, and Amberly came over to our apartment, since we didn't have class the next day. They talked about Scott having rearranged our apartment, and they loved the blog I had made; they made my roommate Cameron read it. Then they went and brought back an old creepy dating book with weird pictures and wanted us to make captions for the pictures. One weird picture had a guy looking at the side of a girl's face. I had two captions that I thought were perfect. One was a line from I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown: "'I'm trying to have an expression of looking to the future with hope.' 'That's all right, I'm just drawing your ear.'" For the other caption, I began singing "Trololo" because I thought the guy looked like the "Trololo" singer. Everyone laughed, but only Amberly knew what I was talking about, so I brought out my laptop to show them the YouTube video.

2011. This was a Saturday. I think this was the year I gave Allie a pink owl for her birthday. These are some anecdotes I copied and pasted from an old blog:

• She wanted to play Apples to Apples. Which is strange because she doesn't really get what's going on. Anyway, when it was her turn to be the judge, her green card was "Nasty." Someone put "AIDS." She picked a different card, and then shortly after said, "I was going to pick AIDS but I had to pick this one. 'Cause we all know what that's like." My sister and cousin and I were all laughing hysterically, as quietly as possible.
• I discovered an entertaining website called "Not Always Right." I was reading this, and came across [a comic strip in which a mother asks for a "Playboy" for her son, but she really wants a Gameboy.] I had been reading some of the anecdotes aloud to my mom, and Allie insisted that I read this to her because it was funny. I told her, "I don't think you get it." So she told her herself. I still don't think she gets it. At least, I hope not.
• I turned on Hogan's Heroes. She said to me, "I wish this were Pollyanna." Then in the episode they brought in a small Nazi flag, complete with the swastika. She said something like, "I knew they were in another country. Australia!" This made me laugh, so she "corrected" herself: "Austria!" My mom caught on that she had seen the Nazi flag on The Sound of Music--hence thinking it was Austria's flag.
• I was attempting to play "Linus and Lucy" on the piano. I thought I was doing reasonably well with just the left hand, but then I heard her say, "Mark you need to fix that do better or you'll need to take piano lessons, too!"

I was also amused when I looked at the cover for the August issue of The Friend. It has a bunch of primary-kid drawings of Thomas S. Monson on the cover. But one of them doesn't look so much like the President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:

Rather, I think it looks more like the President of the United States of America:



I pointed it out to my parents, and even Allie thought it looked like Obama. My dad said he had thought the same thing.

2010. In the morning I got up and got ready to go home. As I was driving out of Provo, I saw people walking home after participating in the World's Largest Water Fight. That night my dad turned on the news and I saw the water fight on the news, and I regretted that I didn't participate.

2009. This is my journal entry for the day: "Today we were blessed enough to have our lesson go through with Anna Hamilton, although it almost didn't. Brad and Carey's lesson didn't go through. I guess they had an emergency." Anna lived in a single-wide trailer and didn't own much; this might have been the time we brought George Sabin with us.

Pioneer Day, 2012-14

A few years ago, I made a post about Pioneer Day, so I'm going to remember those that have happened since that time.

2014. In the morning I wanted to pick apricots so my mom could make something with them. Nathaniel wanted to help me, so I went out with him and he climbed on top of our swingset to reach the fruit. I put my arm around him, and he kept saying, "I got it! Wet [let] go!" Of course I didn't; I  told him I would be very sad if he fell down. I came in with the colander full of apricots and said to my mom that some of them were a little green, winking that Nathaniel had picked some that weren't quite ripe. Preston said, "Did Baby pick them?" Nathaniel said, "I didn't know!" (Indeed, Preston had picked plenty of green ones himself the year before at the age of eight.) Then we went to a McDonald's in Salt Lake since the boys all like it for some reason. Franklin put his chicken nugget on his straw, and Preston followed suit, and they drank soda while eating nuggets. Preston said they should make nugget-flavored soda.

Then we went to the mall to go to the Lego Store. Nathaniel didn't bring shoes, so he had to wear Allie's girly shoes, which he wasn't too happy about. I carried him across the parking lot, and while I was doing so I asked him who was cuter, me or his dad, and he said me, because I was younger even though I had bigger legs. [I just asked him in 2015. He said, "That's a hard choice....It's too complicated. I think you because you're not as old as my dad."] We went to the Lego store, where there were bins where they could fill cups with Legos. He didn't like to get Legos from bins with Disney Princess covers, so he didn't get white flowers, but he got purple and pink flowers, since they weren't in Princess covers. There were some orange Legos with a Princess cover (Allie said, "The orange could be for the pumpkin carriage," and my mom said the covers probably didn't necessarily mean anything to do with princesses), so Nathaniel didn't get the orange ones, but he loved to get some clear ones, even though they did come from a Princess cover. Ya-ping tried to fit more Legos in Preston's cup by shaking the contents of one cup into another. I could have told her it wouldn't work, and indeed it made it worse. As she was doing that, David said, "This is where Preston gets it." David wanted to see whether Nathaniel wanted to fill up a cup or get a cheap set, and he wanted both, causing David to say, "That's not an option." Then we went to Chinese Gourmet to meet my grandparents for dinner. While we were waiting, we tried to get Ya-ping's niece to speak English, but she was too shy to do so. Susanne said she didn't know she could speak English. At the restaurant, it was the first time I ever had Mongolian barbecue. We came home and David's high school friend Preston Hawkes, for whom David's Preston was named, came over. I had been in my room playing on the Super Nintendo but I went out and gave him an update on what I was doing in life. Nathaniel loved talking to this big Preston; he was telling him he knew Chinese, but Preston thought he was talking about his knees. David said that Nathaniel was by far their easiest four-year-old. I asked Nathaniel to tell Preston how many moms he had; he didn't respond, but Preston said, "That's a lot. Anything more than one is a lot." David said that one day he just started talking about his new mom, which made Ya-ping ask David why he said that. They talked about their crazy friend Mike Bishop, and Preston said he was still Facebook friends with Mike's ex-wife. Preston talked about his younger brother being a jerk in public without knowing it, and he said he (Preston) didn't usually like to swear but he called someone a bad name. He said he would have to visit David when he was with his son, and David said they could take them to the Exploratorium. This is my journal entry for the day:
"Today I picked apricots and Nathaniel helped me. Then we all went to McDonald's and then to the Lego store. We went to dinner with G'ma and G'pa. Tonight big Preston came and visited. I'm going to miss those kids."

2013. I think it was a little boring, so I made a blog post about pioneers. (I could write a much better blog today.) That night I went running, and when I got back a bunch of people were lighting sparklers, so they invited me to do so too. We got on the apartment staircase to take pictures. (I found a picture, but I feel weird stealing someone else's picture.)

2012. I made this Facebook status: "I've never really thought of Pioneer Day as much of a holiday. However, I am grateful for my pioneer ancestors who went through such hardships and sacrificed so much, working 'with might for a cause that's right' to establish this great state of Utah." I spent the day looking at words in Isaiah in the Oxford English Dictionary and writing a paper about it for my Isaiah class. I hadn't been running in a while because I had knee problems, but I went that night, and as I was up on campus in front of the testing center, I looked out over Provo and saw aerial fireworks. Then I went home and drank Powerade.

July 6

I'm going to remember what I can about two days after Independence Day, July 6.

2014. After writing my blog for the day, I went to a ward prayer at the lawn of Regency Apartments. I stayed a long time talking with people. There was a nineteen-year-old girl who was a little awkward who asked why I majored in English language if I didn't talk much. One guy was wearing a flag tie similar to one I own, but I wasn't wearing it because the Fourth of July was over.

2013. We got up early in the morning in California to leave with my three nephews and my sister-in-law. We stopped at a rest area in the Sierras to eat breakfast. My parents had bought large Costco muffins but I didn't eat them. I had a throat problem, which meant I had to drink a lot, which meant I had to stop a lot. We stopped at a rest stop that I remembered from the previous Christmas Eve, and later we stopped at a really gross rest area, and Preston even said, "That bathroom was gross, huh Uncle Mark." The boys were good on the trip, but later on, Preston was teasing Nathaniel, making him scream. I looked back at Nathaniel and told him not to scream and he made an adorable face in response. My mom asked Preston not to make him scream. At one point I had facetiously said I stunk because I hadn't showered; Franklin said, "Uncle Mark's stinky," and Nathaniel said I was "inky." At one rest area near the Utah/Nevada border, I read a sign near a trail that said there were snakes and scorpions, and I wanted to see a scorpion. Nathaniel needed to stop near Tooele. As we were getting close, Sue called my mom and asked where we were. We had just barely arrived at our house when Sue and her family showed up--we were still unloading the car. Chancey came and was eating some of our grapes and giving them to Nathan; Jesse said to him, "Why are you eating their food?" Ya-ping shared the nectarines she had bought in California with Lisa and others.

2012. Apparently I took a French test. Some of my "horse" friends invited us to a surprise party for Scott Boyce, who was going to be our roommate in the fall. I was debating whether I wanted to go, since he scared me. My roommate Bryton and I did go over. Someone picked up Scott from his job at Red Robin because he didn't have a car and had to bike home. After he got there, someone asked if he knew what was happening; he said it did seem a little suspicious.

2011. I would have gone to my history and archaeology classes, but I don't specifically remember them.

2009. We had to go up to a meeting in Moscow, Idaho, to meet our new mission president. The Palmers introduced themselves to us and then let us ask them questions. My former, evil companion Elder LaPratt asked him, "If you could meet one resurrected person [outside of the Godhead], who would it be?" President responded, "I've always had great admiration for the Prophet Joseph Smith." Elder LaPratt always tried to make the mission president think he was a good missionary (and a good person), even though he wasn't. This is my journal entry for the day:
"The first thing President Palmer said to me was, 'Are you happy?' which is just what President Clark always said. That was an enjoyable meeting. I'm just sad about my lack of mission I have left. Then we helped Brother Presnell, visited A.P. Jones, had dinner with the Bartschis, and tried to figure out stuff for the baptism at FHE. I'm stressed with everything we have to do now."

2008. I don't specifically remember this day, but this is my journal:
"Today Leslie brought her kids to church, indicating her commitment. We had a really good lesson with her. She said she was feeling the Spirit and she accepted the Plan of Salvation in its entirety. But Elder Bramall didn't transition to me, and I can't interject. It's sad to think about how I know I never will be a good missionary, no matter what I do. I won't be a bad one, I just can't be a good one.
"I also tipped my bike over. It was really embarrassing. I have a scraped knee and a sore thigh."

2006. Surprisingly, I wrote in my journal this day:
"Yesterday I got my AP test results. I only got 2s, in Biology and U. S. history. I expected to pass the history. I feel like an idiotic loser. Things have been crazy around here. Everyone's here, and so is Ya-ping's sister Shu-hua. Preston and Allie are so cute, but today they have been ornery. Preston's hair is hideously ugly, but they won't cut it."

Patriotic treats

If you read this blog, you undoubtedly know that I only eat candy and desserts that are seasonal. Seasonal treats abound at other times of the year, but for the Fourth of July, they are a little more rare. You never know what to expect from one year to the next; and even if a particular seasonal candy is made from year to year, you never know what stores will carry them. They're very inconsistent.

Therefore, I'm going to remember the patriotic desserts I've had in my life. Here is some basic information about this list:
1) This only includes things that I have personally eaten. I saw some patriotic candy corn the other day, but I haven't had them, so they're not on the list.
2) Some things on the list aren't strictly dessert, so I could eat them at any time (e.g. pretzels), but they are still fun to include.
3) The list refers mainly to pre-packaged goods. I'm excluding most bakery items (like sugar cookies) because there are always seasonal bakery items. (I think of the Killers lyric: "Red, white, and blue upon a birthday cake, my brother he was born on the Fourth of July.")

Many of these treats predate my seasonal eating rules, but I still remember them. (For those of you who are wondering, my eating habits got started in 2003, but they have evolved significantly since then, generally getting stricter.)

My favorite priority is unique flavors, followed by unique shapes and/or colors. Individually wrapped candies with seasonal wrappers count, but they're my least favorite kind of seasonal things.

Patriotic popsicles. Red, white, and blue popsicles are the one thing I can count on from year to year. They are made by multiple brands, and they aren't always marketed for the Fourth of July, so they're always around. I can eat any popsicles during June, July, and August, but these ones are funner. One noteworthy variation is Dairy Queen's Starkiss, which is shaped like a star and is striped.

Keebler rainbow cookies. Keebler's M&M cookies weren't originally made with M&Ms but with their own brand of chocolates. They had ones with red, white, and blue candies in the late 90s. I had them in 2012--they were marketed for the Olympics but I used them for the Fourth of July. This year, they use real M&Ms and are available at Target, and there are both regular and chocolate varieties.

Summer Oreo O's. Back in the late 1990s, there was a cereal called Oreo O's that had brown rings with white spots on it. One year, probably 1999, they changed the white spots to be red, white, and blue. This is the only time I have ever known of a patriotic cereal. Oreo O's no longer exist, so of course the summer variation does not.


Sno-Balls. You know the Hostess Sno-Balls, the chocolate cake covered with marshmallow and coconut? They usually come in two-packs, but in 2001 or thereabouts a Hostess store carried a three-pack with a red one, a white one, and a blue one. That's the only time I've ever known of them doing so. Before Hostess went out of business, they would change the colors (such as orange at Halloween and lavender at Easter), but I haven't seen them do it as much since they were resurrected.

After 9/11/2001, patriotic things became much more popular, and there was an abundance of patriotic things. In fact, I think some of the things that are still around today may have got their start then.

M&Ms. When I was a kid, I always wanted them to make red, white, and blue M&Ms, but it wasn't a reality until fall 2001. Since then, they have come back sporadically. I know I've had them in 2006, 2007, 2013, and 2015, but this year they're only available at Target, whereas they've been available elsewhere in the past. They come in both milk chocolate and peanut varieties.

Marshmallow Peeps. They made star-shaped Peeps after 9/11. I can't remember whether they were plain or vanilla flavored, but they were white with blue and red specks. They came back for a few Fourth of Julys, but they quit making them because they didn't sell well. In recent years, they've made vanilla-flavored traditional Peep (chick) shapes with the red and blue specks. I don't quite get it. I mean, chicks are still an Easter candy, and what makes them think chick-shaped candy will sell better at the Fourth of July than star-shaped candy?

E.L. Fudge cookies. In 2002 or 2003, there were patriotic E.L. Fudge cookies. These were truly unique--most patriotic candies simply change the colors, but these changed the shape instead. The elves were holding flags or patriotic signs.

Vanilla ice cream. In 2003, my mom bought vanilla ice cream that was colored red, white, and blue--like Neapolitan except it was one flavor. That's the only time I've known of patriotic ice cream.

Goldfish. Goldfish crackers are made red, white, and blue. I first had them in 2004, and I've had them every year since 2013.

American taffy. The Sweet's brand makes peppermint-flavored white taffy with patriotic wrappers. I know we had some in 2007. They used to come in boxes and bags. This year I saw them in bulk, and I got one in my 5k goodie bag this year.

Animal cookies. You know those pink and white, kind of waxy animal-shaped cookies? They used to make patriotic ones. In 2007, I had ones where the frosting had different colors, so there were white, red, and blue cookies. In 2010 and 2011, they were only white, but they had red and blue nonpareil sprinkles. I haven't seen them since then.

Little Debbie brownies. On my mission, in 2009, I saw various Little Debbie treats with a patriotic theme, and I got brownies. I haven't seen them since then.

Tootsie Rolls. These aren't my favorite, since once you take off the flag wrapper, they're the same brown candy, but they're fairly reliable from year to year. Shopko usually sells them, although I didn't see them this year, but I did get one in the goodie bag I got from my North Salt Lake 5k this year.

Tootsie Dots. In 2010 and 2011, I saw patriotic Dots. There were two kinds of Dots, and each Dot had two colors, a red and white one and a blue and white one. The white parts were vanilla, the red ones were cherry, and the blue ones were blueberry. I'm sad that they don't make them anymore, because they were some of my favorite candies. (The red and white ones are still made for Valentine's Day and Christmas, but the blue and white ones aren't otherwise around.)

Tootsie Roll Pops. One of my favorite patriotic candies, usually available at Shopko, are Tootsie Roll Pops. The red ones are cherry, the white ones are strawberry vanilla, and the blue ones are blue raspberry. I like these since the white and blue ones aren't available at other times. I think I've had them every year since 2010.

Blo-Pops. I've seen these in 2011 or 2012, but this is the first year I've had them. The red ones are cherry, the blue ones are raspberry, and the white are strawberry lemonade (which are really good). I'm not a big fan of gum-filled suckers, but I like them since patriotic candies are rare.

All-American Oreos. I've only seen these in 2012, and I don't know whether they were for the Fourth of July or the Olympics. They were the golden variety, and the creme was blue and red. They were plain flavors. They weren't the greatest, but I'm always sad to see Fourth of July desserts go.

Star-shaped Marshmallows. In 2012, I was really excited to see star-shaped marshmallows, and they were red (really pink), white, and blue.  Then I saw bigger ones. I've seen both sizes since then, but I usually get the big ones, since they're better for roasting, which is what you usually do during summer. However, I have occasionally used them on rare cold June days, since they allow me to have hot chocolate.

Pretzels. In 2013, I found pretzels that were shaped as flags, Liberty Bells, and stars. I haven't seen them since then.

Pop-Tarts. I first had patriotic Pop-Tarts in 2013. At that time, the pastry was red, the frosting was white, the berry filling was red, and the sugar sprinkles were red, white, and blue. I didn't see them in time in 2014, but in 2015 they're very different. The pastry is regular color, the frosting is blue with white star-shaped sprinkles, and the berry filling is still red. I think they've improved the flavor. (I'm not big on berry Pop-Tarts.)

Planters trail mix. In 2013 and 2014, I had patriotic Planters trail mix, made with peanuts, raisins, dried cranberries, red chocolate-covered peanuts, and blue and white chocolate pieces.

Patriotic Twizzlers. Walmart is the only store I've known to sell these patriotic Pull-and-Peel Twizzlers. Each strand is a different flavor; the white ones are lemonade, and the others are different berries. I've had them in 2014 and 2015.

Summer Ice Pop Tic-Tacs. Last year, there were red, white, and blue Tic-Tacs based on patriotic popsicles. The red ones were cherry, the white were lime, and the blue were berry. I haven't seen them this year. I have a feeling they may be the rarest of rare candies, so I'm lucky I got some last year.

Patriotic mints. At my 5k this week, I got a goodie bag with various mints. There was a dinner mint with a flag wrapper and some patriotic peppermint lozenge things. There was also a red, white, and blue striped candy stick, but it was some kind of fruit flavor and wasn't very good.

Caramel Cob. Caramel Cobs are basically large caramel popcorn balls shaped like a corncob. They put seasonal sprinkles on them. I had a Halloween one in 2012, and I saw patriotic ones in 2013, but I didn't have one until this year.

I always like seeing what will come out every year.